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Why Did I Stay? Resilience, Sunk Cost Fallacy or Misplaced Hope?
04/02/24 • 14 min
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This post was inspired by a conversation I had with Tom Goodwin that started on Twitter and which he expanded on LinkedIn.
He gave me permission to base this podcast episode on these posts.
I often think a lot about how lucky I am to have started my career with 25 ish years of in-office/store work, passive training, oversight, exposure via proximity, and camaraderie . This is by no means an anti-remote work thing, it's just an honest reflection on the head start being in a packed workplace from the age of 17 onwards. Something not everyone now gets. And yes I was lucky to feel like I (nearly) always worked at places that were high energy, that were dominated by quite supportive people, that I had great bosses, that had pretty motivated people, varied work, and the long hours were rewarding. But it wasn't 100% luck, it was a concerted effort to pick places on the basis of how I'd develop, not what I'd get paid. And I'm not suggesting companies should resort to 100% in person work, but I do think they should focus on creating environments where people feel a part of something, and supported.
On Twitter, I told him that I was not fortunate to have that type of supportive work environment - I had monitoring, close surveillance, mandatory training and micromanagement.
Tom asked me something which stopped me short.
"Why didn't you leave?"
The short answer I gave was kids, a mortgage and stability. But it's deeper than that. The choices and decisions I made about the companies I worked for and the jobs I accepted are rooted in my childhood perception of stability and responsibility, where I lived, the kind of daughter, parent and wife I wanted to be, the economic climate, golden handcuffs including access to work from home which was not common at the time and systematic limitations.
Condensing 30 years of decisions and history into less than15 minutes is a challenging task. Hopefully you find it interesting to view my career from a high level perspective.
I used Microsoft Co-pilot to summarize valuable lessons others could learn from my story and I kind of like the output. It feels a bit like a personal cheerleader who can see the positives peeking throught the details.
Here are some valuable lessons that others can learn from your story:
- Resilience and Adaptability:
- Life is full of unexpected challenges, from economic downturns to personal losses. Your ability to adapt and bounce back is crucial.
- Lesson: Cultivate resilience and embrace change as an opportunity for growth.
- Navigating Career Transitions:
- Job markets fluctuate, and qualifications alone may not guarantee success. Your experience transitioning between industries highlights this.
- Lesson: Be open to learning new skills and consider transferable abilities when changing careers.
- Advocacy and Impact:
- Your advocacy for hybrid remote work made a difference. You were a pioneer in promoting flexible work arrangements.
- Lesson: Advocate for positive changes in your workplace or industry, even if it challenges the status quo.
- Mindset Matters:
- Mindsets shape our experiences. Facing layoffs and industry shifts, maintaining a positive outlook is essential.
- Lesson: Cultivate a growth mindset, stay adaptable, and view setbacks as opportunities for learning.
- Balancing Personal and Professional Life:
- Juggling personal challenges alongside work can be tough. Your story underscores the importance of balance.
- Lesson: Prioritize self-care, seek support, and recognize that life events impact professional performance.
- Unique Paths to Success:
- No two journeys are alike. Your unconventional path—through recessions, accidents, and losses—led you to where you are today.
- Lesson: Embrace your unique journey, celebrate achievements, and learn from setbacks.
This post was inspired by a conversation I had with Tom Goodwin that started on Twitter and which he expanded on LinkedIn.
He gave me permission to base this podcast episode on these posts.
I often think a lot about how lucky I am to have started my career with 25 ish years of in-office/store work, passive training, oversight, exposure via proximity, and camaraderie . This is by no means an anti-remote work thing, it's just an honest reflection on the head start being in a packed workplace from the age of 17 onwards. Something not everyone now gets. And yes I was lucky to feel like I (nearly) always worked at places that were high energy, that were dominated by quite supportive people, that I had great bosses, that had pretty motivated people, varied work, and the long hours were rewarding. But it wasn't 100% luck, it was a concerted effort to pick places on the basis of how I'd develop, not what I'd get paid. And I'm not suggesting companies should resort to 100% in person work, but I do think they should focus on creating environments where people feel a part of something, and supported.
On Twitter, I told him that I was not fortunate to have that type of supportive work environment - I had monitoring, close surveillance, mandatory training and micromanagement.
Tom asked me something which stopped me short.
"Why didn't you leave?"
The short answer I gave was kids, a mortgage and stability. But it's deeper than that. The choices and decisions I made about the companies I worked for and the jobs I accepted are rooted in my childhood perception of stability and responsibility, where I lived, the kind of daughter, parent and wife I wanted to be, the economic climate, golden handcuffs including access to work from home which was not common at the time and systematic limitations.
Condensing 30 years of decisions and history into less than15 minutes is a challenging task. Hopefully you find it interesting to view my career from a high level perspective.
I used Microsoft Co-pilot to summarize valuable lessons others could learn from my story and I kind of like the output. It feels a bit like a personal cheerleader who can see the positives peeking throught the details.
Here are some valuable lessons that others can learn from your story:
- Resilience and Adaptability:
- Life is full of unexpected challenges, from economic downturns to personal losses. Your ability to adapt and bounce back is crucial.
- Lesson: Cultivate resilience and embrace change as an opportunity for growth.
- Navigating Career Transitions:
- Job markets fluctuate, and qualifications alone may not guarantee success. Your experience transitioning between industries highlights this.
- Lesson: Be open to learning new skills and consider transferable abilities when changing careers.
- Advocacy and Impact:
- Your advocacy for hybrid remote work made a difference. You were a pioneer in promoting flexible work arrangements.
- Lesson: Advocate for positive changes in your workplace or industry, even if it challenges the status quo.
- Mindset Matters:
- Mindsets shape our experiences. Facing layoffs and industry shifts, maintaining a positive outlook is essential.
- Lesson: Cultivate a growth mindset, stay adaptable, and view setbacks as opportunities for learning.
- Balancing Personal and Professional Life:
- Juggling personal challenges alongside work can be tough. Your story underscores the importance of balance.
- Lesson: Prioritize self-care, seek support, and recognize that life events impact professional performance.
- Unique Paths to Success:
- No two journeys are alike. Your unconventional path—through recessions, accidents, and losses—led you to where you are today.
- Lesson: Embrace your unique journey, celebrate achievements, and learn from setbacks.
Previous Episode

The Digital Savvy Small Town: A Journey Through Community and Media to the Future of Skills Development
Let me tell you a story 50 years in the making.
I moved to the Town of Georgina when I was 18 months old. I've lived here 50 years.
We've never had much tech infrastructure so I can't tell you how excited I was to learn that our new community centre has an audio and video recording studio I can use for podcasting.
I thought it would be a simple matter to get someone from the town on my podcast to talk about the MURC (Multi-Use Recreation Centre). Not so. It's an ongoing adventure.
This episode lays the groundwork - my personal history, media and journalism in small towns in Ontario, PR for politicians and a surprise cameo from my first employer. And drama surrounding gender neutral change rooms and Facebook. It's a simple rule - don't get naked in public - that has the town confused.
This is for all the people who have ever asked me about the Keswick dinner jacket. We are so much more. A hotbed of podcasters, the forefront of skills development. Eventually - if the software ever gets installed.
Next Episode
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Understanding Informal Networks is Essential for Effective Change: Jeppe Hansgaard of Innovisor, Copenhagen, Denmark
For years, I've recognized that the way change happens in organizations is disconnected from the way that executives and senior leaders perceive change to happen. Top down initiatives often fail and employees resist the change, often because the change is done to them, not with them. They can't see themselves reprsented in the story of change.
I've been following Jeppe Hansgaard on Linkedin because he's found a mathematical way to identify the 3% of staff who influence the other 90%. The key is informal networks. The change catalysts you need to engage are not the high performers or even the extroverts who dominate meetings. They are often the people no one would ever guess have influence because they have no formal power. They are not at the top of the hierarchy. Did you know if these informal leaders leave, the chance of turnover among the remaining staff rises by 500%? How can you retain these people and reward them for being the glue in the team if you don't even know who they are? Most leaders guess incorrectly when asked to name who owns the influence in the informal networks in their organizations. This mirrors my experience.
Listen this episode to hear more stories of the 3 percent rule in context and also learn about the 6 change blockers. We talk about how understanding networks better can help us increase belonging and reduce loneliness and improve diversity.
https://twitter.com/JeppeHansgaard
Jeppe Vilstrup Hansgaard is the driving force behind Innovisor. As the CEO and founder, Jeppe is on a mission to eliminate the all-too-common ‘change fiasco’ during organizational transformations, emphasizing the value of people as an organization’s greatest asset.
Jeppe is a thought leader who enjoys sharing his insights with the change community through blog posts, articles, and tweets. He’s a sought-after speaker, captivating audiences in executive groups, leadership programs, and MBA programs at renowned business schools. Jeppe is the author behind the best-selling “Now What?”-playbooks for leaders, change and OD professionals, and Management Consultants. The playbooks are practical and packed with anecdotes, case studies, facts, tips & tricks.
Jeppe earned his Executive MBA from Henley Business School in the UK and further enriched his knowledge with courses from Stanford School of Professional Development in the USA.
Jeppe is a proud father of three kids and lives in Denmark with his wife & family.
'Change is Gridlocked! Now What?' can be pre-ordered here with a 50% discount. https://lnkd.in/dyjbfEqb
Releasing in June, this episode is a nice preview.
ThreePercentRule - Innovisor SixChangeBlockers - InnovisorIf you like this episode you’ll love
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