Ep. 26: Embracing Uncertainty

08/02/22 • 23 min

Fostering Conversations with Utah Foster Care

Foster parents learn in training classes about the uncertainty surrounding children in foster care. A child may be in their home for a few days, a year, or a lifetime. Grief and loss are a reality when a child is reunified. In this episode, we’ll explore how foster parents can get support to deal with the emotional stress of children leaving their home.

While loss affects people in different ways, many people experience the following symptoms when they are grieving. Just remember almost anything you experience in grief is normal.

Common symptoms of grief:

Shock and disbelief—Right after a loss, it can be hard to accept what happened. You may feel numb and have trouble believing that the loss really happened, even deny the truth.
Sadness—Profound sadness is probably the most universally experienced symptoms of grief. You may have feelings of emptiness, despair, yearning or deep loneliness. You may also cry a lot or feel emotionally unstable.
Guilt—You may regret or feel guilty about things you did or did not say or do. You may also feel guilty about certain feelings. Sometimes, children will blame themselves for causing the loss, even though they did nothing wrong.
Anger—Even if the loss was nobody’s fault, you may feel angry and resentful. You may feel the need to blame someone for the injustice that was done to you.
Fear—A significant loss can trigger a host of worries and fears. You may feel anxious, helpless or insecure. You may even have panic attacks.
Physical symptoms— We often think of grief as a strictly emotional process, but grief often involves physical problems, including fatigue, nausea, lowered immunity weight loss or weight gain, aches and pains and insomnia.

How to Support Others Who are Grieving

Be a good listener
Let them feel sad
Do not minimize grief
Do not be judgmental
Share your feelings
Ask about their feelings
Acknowledge the pain
Be available when you can
Talk openly and honestly about the situation unless the person does not want to
If symptoms of depression are severe or persistent and the person is not coping with Day to day activities, encourage the use of professional help

Other Resources:

Want to learn more about becoming a Foster Parent?

While loss affects people in different ways, many people experience the following symptoms when they are grieving. Just remember almost anything you experience in grief is normal.

Common symptoms of grief:

Shock and disbelief—Right after a loss, it can be hard to accept what happened. You may feel numb and have trouble believing that the loss really happened, even deny the truth.
Sadness—Profound sadness is probably the most universally experienced symptoms of grief. You may have feelings of emptiness, despair, yearning or deep loneliness. You may also cry a lot or feel emotionally unstable.
Guilt—You may regret or feel guilty about things you did or did not say or do. You may also feel guilty about certain feelings. Sometimes, children will blame themselves for causing the loss, even though they did nothing wrong.
Anger—Even if the loss was nobody’s fault, you may feel angry and resentful. You may feel the need to blame someone for the injustice that was done to you.
Fear—A significant loss can trigger a host of worries and fears. You may feel anxious, helpless or insecure. You may even have panic attacks.
Physical symptoms— We often think of grief as a strictly emotional process, but grief often involves physical problems, including fatigue, nausea, lowered immunity weight loss or weight gain, aches and pains and insomnia.

How to Support Others Who are Grieving

Be a good listener
Let them feel sad
Do not minimize grief
Do not be judgmental
Share your feelings
Ask about their feelings
Acknowledge the pain
Be available when you can
Talk openly and honestly about the situation unless the person does not want to
If symptoms of depression are severe or persistent and the person is not coping with Day to day activities, encourage the use of professional help

Other Resources:

Want to learn more about becoming a Foster Parent?

Previous Episode

Ep. 25: Vroom! Brain Building at Your Fingertips

Vroom! Brain Building at Your Fingertips.

Did you know that 80% of a child’s brain is developed between birth and 4 years old? In partnership with the Bezos Family Foundation, Envision Utah’s early learning is working to empower all Utah parents when it comes to helping their child develop and be successful.

As a caregiver, you can help your young children build neural connections through Vroom, a free app that turns everyday moments into brain-building activities. As Travis Allred from Envision Utah tells us, Vroom gives you bite-sized, science-based tips that help you give children a great start in life.

3 Ways to get Vroom:

Get the app
Visit Vroom website
Text Vroom to 48258

Want to learn more about becoming a Foster Parent?

Next Episode

Ep. 27: Benefits of Kinship

Children living with relatives increased 51% between 2000 and 2010. In 2010, 1700 children were placed with relatives after being removed from their parents. The most recent census tells us that number is not going down. Being placed with Kin/relatives vs. foster care has a number of benefits:

Minimizes trauma
Increased permanency
Better overall well being
Preserves cultural and community identity
Promotes lasting connections

Children’s Service Society of Utah (CSS) is an organization that empowers families and caregivers through services that support the safety and well-being of children. Grandfamilies is a support, advocacy, educational and crisis intervention program of the Children’s Service Society. The program was created in 2002 to meet the growing needs of individuals and/or families that are caring for a relative’s child. Our focus is to provide information and support to these families so that the needs of safety and permanency for the children in these families can be met.

Their services include: