Empowering Women In Conversations

Overcoming the Fear of Rejection and Pain of Abandonment

• What fuels the fear of rejection and pain of abandonment?
• What are the habits that keep the fear of rejection and abandonment present?

This episode is the first part of a series that will discuss the concepts, techniques and strategies for Fear of Rejection and the pain of abandonment that happens within human society.
The challenging part is that no one really talks about it, so I decided to incorporate this episode on the in’s and out of what encompasses the fear of rejection, pain of abandonment and on how you can begin to get out of that mindset into a healthier one of being accepted and feelings that you belong and are lovable.
In today's episode I will focus on several goals:

• Awareness on how unrewarding it is to be constantly hyper vigilant toward rejection and the pain of abandonment.
• Several techniques in self regulating with that part of you that is hypersensitive to rejection and abandonment
• You will be able to identify an association with your emotions & body sensations that are sensitive to rejection and abandonment.

If you are still struggling on tolerating the ability to walk into the sensation of being rejected and not take it personally, then listen to this episode to help you out:

• How to Know your Values

I will go over the common symptoms on living life with fear of rejection and pain of abandonment:

• General anxiousness in social settings
• Focusing only on the area that looks like rejections and filter out all the other positive messaging and examples to the contrary within the same experienced event.

Some correlated unhelpful thoughts that stem from rejection and abandonment are:

• What is wrong with me?
• What did I do wrong?

I will offer you a quick tip on:
Taking the Panic of the unhealthy sensations and emotions out of your body and offer something reassuring to say to yourself about this symptom that would make you feel better.
If you have not been able to identify how to set loving limits and boundaries listen to the previous episode Just click on the link below to find out:

• How to set Loving Limits and Boundaries

Want to start learning on how to take the negative sensations from rejection and abandonment from your body : Below I will give you the cheat sheet on how to do just that: Body Scan To Regulate the Nervous System
Leave a Comment on what situations trigger your fear of rejection and abandonment.TikTok:
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Our values refl­ect what we find meaningful in life.
They are what you care about, deep down, and what you consider to be important. Everybody’s values are different, and they can change over time. They re­flect how we want to engage with the world, with the people around us, and with ourselves.

In today's episode I will focus on several goals:

• Strategies on how to make "A Valued Based Decision."
• Awareness on whether your decisions are" Emotional vs. Value Based Decisions"
• Quick Tip to Problem Solving with Your Values

If you are still struggling on saying "NO" and quickly tend to react to saying yes often then listen to this episode to help you out:

• Stop Saying YES so much and Start Saying NO with Ease and Confidence

I will go over the common symptoms on living life with lack of values and clarity such as:

• Inaction
• Procrastination
• Not doing enough of what matters most to you

Lack of Values and correlated behaviors describe how problems can stem from.
I will offer you a quick tip on:
Problem Solving with your Values
If you have not been able to identify what your top values are; listen to the previous episode Just click on the link below to find out:

• How to know your Values

You will be able to identify an association between different activities and your emotions with behaviors are inclusive to your Values.

Obtaining value Based Behaviors have resulted in positive rewards such as:

• Having positive relationships with other people that make us feel connected and valued.
• Connecting with the present moment and being authentic within ourselves.
• It will bring about a chance to grow and develop an increase sense of achievement within ourselves.

Want to start learning on how to make a value based decision.
Below I will give you the workbook on this episode and link to discover the steps in learning on how to begin making those important decisions based on your values.
Free Workbook to align your decisions and behaviors with your values!

Leave a Comment on what Decisions you made based on your Values.
Quote of the Day:
"It's not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are."
--Roy Disney--

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The one life lesson that changed my life was....
Being aware of my values, to make value based decisions and be aligned with who I am.
Clarifying my values as a top priority shifted many things in my life.
Individuals experience greater fulfillment when they live by their values.
If we don’t honor our values, our mental, emotional, and physical state suffers.
Knowing Your Values Changes Your Behavior
In this episode I will go over the characteristics on living life with lack of values
such as:

• Strong feelings of panic, fear, and helplessness when faced with being alone when voicing your own opinion or belief.

The goal in this episode is to help you:

• Identify your own emotional and social needs and ways to fulfill them without feeling selfish.

I will go over the Steps so you can identify your values:
Sneak Preview: On minute 18, I will go over
Step 5: What are you top 5 values and rank them from 1-5 in priority

I will also give you a quick tip in the beginning of the episode on 3 questions you can ask yourself to immediately become aware of your values.
Don't want to wait until you hear the whole episode, that's ok,
Below I will give you the cheat sheet on the steps and quick tip on figuring out your values.
Step by Step Process on how to know your values

Leave a Comment on what Values are most important to you.
Quote of the Day:
"Value's are like fingerprints.
Nobody's are the same, but you leave 'em all over everything you do."
--Elvis Presley--

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In today's episode (People Pleasing and Appeasing Part 4)
How To Increase your conflict resolution skills by Normalizing conflicts and decreasing the habit of people pleasing and appeasing.
You will learn on:

• Looking at somebody in the eye who's disapproving of your opinion and continue to view your own opinion of value.
• Why it is difficult to obtain effective conflict resolution skills
• How to Normalize conflicts from the nervous system so that you can feel your way through conflicts as a normal and healthy way of being as opposed to making it personal and having negative thoughts such as "I am a bad person" coupled with feelings of shame and guilt.
• To feel what it can be like to say something to somebody and not get hit with the negative consequences of shame and guilt because you said it.

Expect to have some awareness and continue learning, growing, and changing from people pleasing and appeasing into finally having the necessary conversation with confidence and ease.
You will gain knowledge on the advantages and disadvantages of conflicts, misconceptions, behaviors and characteristics that come from people pleasing and appeasing that hinders the awareness of conflict resolution skills.
There is a quick tip in the beginning of the episode:
I will give you more ways on how to say NO to the people that matter the most and expressing your own opinions with value and confidence.
You will get information on what to do right before entering a conflict to prepare you into having an effective conflict resolution with the people that matter the most to you.
Some benefits in learning on Normalizing Conflicts are:

1. Increase in self-esteem
2. Creating boundaries with your values will establish you to act in alignment with who you identify with and decrease stress and depression
3. The ability to discuss problems without the negative thoughts that you are a bad person or did something wrong.
4. Increase in leadership skills
5. Help yourself in becoming who you really want to be

Quote of the Day:
"All conflicts, no matter how intractable, are capable of peaceful resolution"
– Nelson Mandela
You will gain access to a cheat sheet in this link to help yourself on learning on how to Normalize Conflicts and decrease the habit of people pleasing and appeasing.
https://www.anitasandoval.com/people-pleasing-cheatsheet
You can click on the links below to listen in to the previous People Pleasing and Appeasing Episodes:
People Pleasing and Appeasing Part 1:
How To Stop Yourself from the quick Reflex of People Pleasing and Appeasing Part 2:
How to Set Loving Limits/Boundaries instead of People Pleasing and Appeasing Part 3:
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In today's episode (People Pleasing and Appeasing Part 3)
You will learn tips and strategies on
How To Set Loving Limits/Boundaries
Expect to have some awareness and continue learning, growing, and changing from people pleasing and appeasing into setting limits to those that once would take advantage of you. You will gain knowledge on your insecurities and learn on how to increase your internal self and life to make sure you love yourself without the feelings of shame, guilt or thoughts that you are a bad person.
There is an added BONUS in the end where:
I will give you more ways on how to say NO to the people that matter the most with confidence and ease.
You will get information on the TWO common FEARS that is holding you back from setting boundaries. Then you will gain a strategy on how to experience setting limits in a way where you can be able to feel safe, secure, and able to empower yourself to happily say NO.
You will become aware on how you can be able to gain insight on your nervous system to help guide you on a true YES or NO with setting limits.
You will learn additional insight on advantages and disadvantages of people pleasing and appeasing.
Some benefits in learning on how to set loving limits are:

1. Increase resiliency
2. Creating boundaries with your values will establish you to act in alignment with who you identify with and decrease stress and depression
3. The ability to say a true YES or NO while still believing you are a good person
4. Treating yourself with importance
5. Help yourself in becoming who you really want to be

Listen in because you will also get a quick strategy on what to say before talking to a loved one on setting limits and boundaries in the beginning of the episode.
Quote of the Day:
“When you say yes to others make sure you are not saying no to yourself.”
– Paulo Coelho
You will gain access to a cheat sheet in this link to help yourself on learning on how to set loving limits in a way that you believe you are a good person.
https://www.anitasandoval.com/people-pleasing-part3
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