Emotionally Fit

In 2016, Sunil Rajaraman wrote a satirical essay titled ‘This Is Your Life in Silicon Valley’ for the tech-heavy, San Francisco-based online magazine The Bold Italic. Within days the article was trending on social media with hundreds of comments and nearly a million page views. In this Taboo Tuesday, Sunil talks with Dr. Emily about the anxiety he experienced as a successful entrepreneur in Silicon Valley, and how he’s learned to shift his relationship to it.

Staying emotionally fit takes work and repetition. That's why the Emotionally Fit podcast with psychologist Dr. Emily Anhalt delivers short, actionable Emotional Push-Ups every Monday and Thursday to help you build a better practice of mental health, and surprising, funny, and shocking conversations on Taboo Tuesdays - because the things we’re most hesitant to talk about are also the most normal. Join us to kickstart your emotional fitness. Let's flex those feels and do some reps together!

EPISODE RESOURCES:

Follow Sunil on Twitter

Listen to Sunil’s podcast This is Your Life in Silicon Valley

Read This Is Your Life in Silicon Valley by Sunil Rajaraman - The Bold Italic

Thank you for listening! Follow Dr. Emily on Twitter, and don’t forget to follow, rate, review and share the show wherever you listen to podcasts! #EmotionallyFit

The Emotionally Fit podcast is produced by Coa, your gym for mental health. Katie Sunku Wood is the show’s producer from StudioPod Media with additional editing and sound design by nodalab, and featuring music by Milano. Special thanks to the entire Coa crew!

JUMP STRAIGHT INTO:

(02:01) - How ‘This Is Your Life In Silicon Valley’ changed Sunil’s life and career - “I put up the piece and then 24 hours later it started to get traction. I had never experienced true virality before. This was nuts. This was like almost a million page views in days. It was crazy.”

(05:26) - Cue the Anxiety Attacks - “There's a face that you put on for investors. There's a face that you put on for employees. Then there's the face that you try to put on at home. And then there's other parts of you that you just try to compartmentalize here and there. Eventually that can't hold.”

(11:12) - Self-stigmatization and why we should be more open about struggling with mental health - “In the process of going through therapy, you say stuff out loud that sounds weird at first. And then you're like ‘Wait a second. This isn't weird. This is who you are. And it's totally okay’.”

(15:54) - Addiction and substance abuse - “It's all a spectrum. Pretty much anything that can bring good into our lives, when used incorrectly or in the wrong amount, ends up hurting us.”

(17:25) - How going to therapy has helped Sunil - “You do say things out loud about yourself that can kind of feel uncomfortable, but I can now say out loud, ‘I like writing and I like when people read my writing’ and I don't think there's anything wrong with that.”

(20:58) - The downsides to social media, FOMO and constant comparison - “The feeling of wanting more, rather than owning what you are and being happy with it. It's very different. I still struggle with it.”

Bestselling author and Director of Relationship Science for dating app, Hinge, Logan Ury joins the show to explore talking about mental health and therapy on a first date. Logan also discusses vulnerability, pandemic dating trends, and her book How to Not Die Alone: The Surprising Science That Will Help You Find Love. Listen now to find out why opening up about your mental health might just be what gets you a second date!

Staying emotionally fit takes work and repetition. That's why the Emotionally Fit podcast with psychologist Dr. Emily Anhalt delivers short, actionable Emotional Push-Ups every Monday and Thursday to help you build a better practice of mental health, and surprising, funny, and shocking conversations on Taboo Tuesdays - because the things we’re most hesitant to talk about are also the most normal. Join us to kickstart your emotional fitness. Let's flex those feels and do some reps together!

EPISODE RESOURCES:

Follow Logan Ury on Twitter and Instagram

Read Logan’s book: How to Not Die Alone: The Surprising Science That Will Help You Find Love

Learn more about Logan’s Date Smarter workshop

Thank you for listening! Follow Dr. Emily on Twitter, and don’t forget to follow, rate, review and share the show wherever you listen to podcasts! #EmotionallyFit

The Emotionally Fit podcast is produced by Coa, your gym for mental health. Katie Sunku Wood is the show’s producer from StudioPod Media with additional editing and sound design by nodalab, and featuring music by Milano. Special thanks to the entire Coa crew!

JUMP STRAIGHT INTO:

(2:11) - How Logan’s work shows up in her personal life - “My husband and I have this sweet/cheesy thing that we do where sometimes I'll lean over to him in bed at night and put my hand out and be like ‘Are we connected?’ and what that means is like ‘Are we on the same page right now?’”

(07:31) - On pandemic dating trends - “What we actually found in our research was people were like ‘I'm afraid of a dance floor makeout. I want a relationship and somebody to hold me while I cry about all the stuff that I lost, or literally people that I lost.’”

(13:36) - Logan’s advice on how and when people should disclose details about their mental health journey in romantic relationships - “It's really about saying ‘This is something in my life that will impact you potentially, but I am not asking you to take care of me. I am asking for you to be curious, ask questions and really explore this with me as you get to know me.’”

(16:52) - Self perception theory and the realities about ghosting - “Nobody wants to be ghosted, but then when you say, ‘Have you ghosted someone?’ most people say, ‘Yes.’”

(20:29) - Logan’s final advice to improve your dating life - “So often the thing that we think makes us ineligible for dating is actually the thing that makes us approachable, relatable, lovable, special.”

James Beshara, an angel investor and the founder of Tilt, a crowdfunding company acquired by Airbnb in 2017, used to drink seven. cups. of. coffee. a. day—a habit that landed him in the ER with a racing heartbeat of over 170 beats per minute for three weeks straight. That turning point in James’s life led him down a rabbit hole of research on coffee, caffeine and alternative ways to boost productivity and heal, a search that included plant medicine. In this Taboo Tuesday, James talks to Dr. Emily about his first experience with psychedelics, and the effect it still has on him today.

Staying emotionally fit takes work and repetition. That's why the Emotionally Fit podcast with psychologist Dr. Emily Anhalt delivers short, actionable Emotional Push-Ups every Monday and Thursday to help you build a better practice of mental health, and surprising, funny, and shocking conversations on Taboo Tuesdays - because the things we’re most hesitant to talk about are also the most normal. Join us to kickstart your emotional fitness. Let's flex those feels and do some reps together!

EPISODE RESOURCES:

Follow James Beshara on Twitter and Instagram.

Learn more about Jame’s latest creation MagicMind

Read Jame’s book Beyond Coffee.

Listen to James’s podcast Below the Line and to his music.

Read Michael Pollan’s book: How to Change Your Mind: What the New Science of Psychedelics Teaches Us About Consciousness, Dying, Addiction, Depression, and Transcendence

Thank you for listening! Follow Dr. Emily on Twitter, and don’t forget to follow, rate, review and share the show wherever you listen to podcasts! #EmotionallyFit

The Emotionally Fit podcast is produced by Coa, your gym for mental health. Katie Sunku Wood is the show’s producer from StudioPod Media with additional editing and sound design by nodalab, and featuring music by Milano. Special thanks to the entire Coa crew!

JUMP STRAIGHT INTO:

(03:15) - James’s coffee habit - “I would feel like I can't get through the day. And it was through just this idea that my productivity and my to-do list is just one more stimulant away, one more coffee away, one more energy drink away.”

(07:36) - A whole new world of psychedelic healing - “Psychedelics might be really beneficial. They're non-toxic. You can take them once and still see effects a year later, five years later, versus something like Prozac that you would need to take every day.”

(15:29) - Trying psychedelics - “I was just like, ‘I'm getting on a river. I don't even care where it goes.’ The intention was let's freaking explore, go off the deep end and see what's out there again.”

(18:41) - James’s first experience with ayahuasca - “Like someone was giving me permission to just be awestruck by everything.”

(22:33) - Creating new neural pathways with psychedelics - “The entire experience was, ‘You're going to learn to let go and go into the fear. And right on the other side of the fears is bliss. That is where heaven is, is right on the other side of what you're afraid of.’”

(25:43) - Psychedelics aren’t a silver bullet fix - “I think what the world really needs is to be empowered to do the long game work. And to know that you didn't come to your pain easily, you're not going to come away from it easily.”

Hollywood actress and podcast host, Alessandra Torresani joins the show to talk about living with Bipolar I Disorder in Hollywood, discussing everything from being misdiagnosed and discouraged from revealing her condition publicly to finally opening up on set about her struggles and starting her own podcast.

EPISODE RESOURCES:

Connect with Alessandra on Instagram and Twitter

Learn more about NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness

Listen to Alessandra’s interview with former co-star Eden Sher on her podcast EmotionAL Support

Thank you for listening! Follow Dr. Emily on Twitter, and don’t forget to follow, rate, review and share the show wherever you listen to podcasts! #EmotionallyFit

Staying emotionally fit takes work and repetition. That's why the Emotionally Fit podcast with psychologist Dr. Emily Anhalt delivers short, actionable Emotional Push-Ups every Monday and Thursday to help you build a better practice of mental health and surprising, funny and shocking conversations on Taboo Tuesdays, because the things we’re most hesitant to talk about are also the most normal. So join us to kickstart your emotional fitness. Let's flex those feels and do some reps together!

The Emotionally Fit podcast is produced by Coa, your gym for mental health. Katie Sunku Wood is the show’s producer from StudioPod Media with additional editing and sound design by Nodalab, and featuring music by Milano. Special thanks to the entire Coa crew!

JUMP STRAIGHT INTO:

(01:20) - Alessandra on being diagnosed with Bipolar 1 Disorder - “It was this juxtaposition of like ‘Wow, I'm finally happy that I know what I am, but I can't share this with the world so I'm going to have to suffer in silence.’”

(9:18) - The first time Alessandra talked about mental health in public - “Once the first two questions were done, I was like ‘Okay, this is weird. What do we talk about now?’ I was supposed to be holding a town hall for an hour, so I said, ‘I'm Alessandra. I'm Bipolar. Does anyone have any questions on mental health?’”

(13:44) - Opening up about her condition in an audition - “I said, ‘I want to thank you so much. I live with Bipolar Disorder and I've never read something on a script, never read words that have affected me so much, that have been said so beautifully.’”

(17:32) - What Bipolar Disorder feels like to Alessandra - “I didn't pick the best job for mental illness, but I can't imagine doing anything else. So I think that the drive that I have for the continuing of the rejection is what keeps me going.”

(22:08) - Alessandra’s fanbase and the special connection between Sci-Fi and mental health - “Every single person that I met at this convention, they shared their stories, their families’ stories about mental health, about their journeys, about alcoholism, drug addiction, everything. They're just open beings.”

(25:26) - Alessandra’s advice for people speaking openly about their mental health struggles - “You have to be ready. You have to have a support system that's behind you because if you get a negative reaction, you need to know that there is someone there that you can talk to about it. To brush it off.”

What do we do when our greatest strengths turn on us and become our greatest weaknesses? Basketball All-Star Kevin Love knows a bit about that and talks with Dr. Emily Anhalt about how to turn it around in this emotional push-up!

Thank you for listening! Staying emotionally fit takes work and repetition. That's why the Emotionally Fit podcast with psychologist Dr. Emily Anhalt delivers short, actionable Emotional Push-Ups every Monday and Thursday to help you build a better practice of mental health. Join us to kickstart your emotional fitness. Let's flex those feels and do some reps together!

Follow Dr. Emily on Twitter, and don’t forget to follow, rate, review and share the show wherever you listen to podcasts! #EmotionallyFit

The Emotionally Fit podcast is produced by Coa, your gym for mental health. Katie Sunku Wood is the show’s producer from StudioPod Media with additional editing and sound design by Nodalab, and featuring music by Milano. Special thanks to the entire Coa crew!