Worth Repeating // Kirk Martin (Calm Parenting)

12/28/20 • 24 min

1 Listener

I love Kirk’s realistic approach to parenting. He understands what your home dynamics are like. And gives practical tips. After listening to today’s episode you will have at least three different “tricks” to apply.

Most of all, I’m thankful for the new perspective he has given me. Kirk helped me recognize how emotionally invested I was in my boys’ behavior and freed me from the need to regulate their behavior for them.

The last couple days I’ve enjoyed the boys more. I’m also less tense and frustrated when we are out in public. In fact, I may need to go back and listen to this episode more than once, so it sticks!

This episode originally aired in May of 2015

Kirk came back on the show multiple times. Check out additional episodes here.

What we chat about:

Kirk’s realization that he needed to focus on his own behavior and stop trying to fix his son’s strong-willed behavior.
The switch he made from training 1500 kids in his home to training parents to calm themselves.
The one thing you can do today to de-escalate a tense situation in your home.
How to calmly handle your child’s meltdown

I can only control one person in life, and that’s me.

How motion changes emotion–helping little ones calm down b/c they don’t know how to “think” their way out.
What to do in the middle of Target aisle 3 when your child freaks out
Handling a tantruming child when his siblings are fighting and another needs help with homework and dinner is cooking (Heather’s daily 5 pm reality).

If you don’t care enough about yourself, to take care of yourself physically, emotionally, spiritually. . .why would anyone else care?

How sometimes parents want good behavior so badly, they are too invested in it and give children too much control.
How to be an impartial giver of wisdom.
Write down your emotional triggers & do the opposite of what you normally do.

Connect with Kirk:

Site :: Twitter :: Facebook :: Podcast

Links Mentioned:

CDs/DVDs
888-506-1871–Toll Free Number for Frustrated Parents

Become a DMA Insider! Join me and Bruce in 2021 to discuss StrengthsFinder! How it impacts your marriage, parenting and career. You're invited!

This episode originally aired in May of 2015

Kirk came back on the show multiple times. Check out additional episodes here.

What we chat about:

Kirk’s realization that he needed to focus on his own behavior and stop trying to fix his son’s strong-willed behavior.
The switch he made from training 1500 kids in his home to training parents to calm themselves.
The one thing you can do today to de-escalate a tense situation in your home.
How to calmly handle your child’s meltdown

I can only control one person in life, and that’s me.

How motion changes emotion–helping little ones calm down b/c they don’t know how to “think” their way out.
What to do in the middle of Target aisle 3 when your child freaks out
Handling a tantruming child when his siblings are fighting and another needs help with homework and dinner is cooking (Heather’s daily 5 pm reality).

If you don’t care enough about yourself, to take care of yourself physically, emotionally, spiritually. . .why would anyone else care?

How sometimes parents want good behavior so badly, they are too invested in it and give children too much control.
How to be an impartial giver of wisdom.
Write down your emotional triggers & do the opposite of what you normally do.

Connect with Kirk:

Site :: Twitter :: Facebook :: Podcast

Links Mentioned:

CDs/DVDs
888-506-1871–Toll Free Number for Frustrated Parents

Become a DMA Insider! Join me and Bruce in 2021 to discuss StrengthsFinder! How it impacts your marriage, parenting and career. You're invited!

Previous Episode

Worth Repeating // Christy Nockels (Christmas Ed)

This episode originally aired in Nov 2016

Today’s guest is Christy Nockels, Dove award winning musician and mom to three children. In 2006 she made the God-led choice to step away from the music industry, for a time, to pour into her family.

In 2016 she released the solo Christmas album, “The Thrill of Hope”. With a blend of classic Christmas carols and original pieces, she has crafted a beautiful addition to our Christmas music collections.

In this episode you’ll hear the inspiration behind the songs, “Amaryllis” and “Wrap This One Up”. . .both stories gave me goosebumps. I won’t think of the Bethlehem shepherds the same way again. And the winter blooming amaryllis reminds us the hope Jesus brought . . .

Our King has come, He’s with us now & He’s making all things new again. That’s the thrill of hope.

What we chat about:

How motherhood takes you from peaceful quiet times to sock-and-underwear prayers
The secret of simple scripture and open dialogue with God
Christy’s new album “The Thrill of Hope”- her first Christmas album!
The message of the amaryllis for those with heavy hearts in the Christmas season
How “wrapped in swaddling clothes” may have meant much more to the shepherds
Christy’s song on the new album that makes her listeners “ugly cry”

Links Mentioned:

Psalm 37:4-7 “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”
The Glorious in the Mundane podcast
“The Thrill of Hope” available on Christy’s site or Amazon**
Ellie Holcomb
PDF of “Amaryllis” lyrics I made. . .

You are invited to become a DMA Insider! Join us over here and get bonus content. Including live Mentor Moment Q&As. In 2021 Bruce and I will lead Insiders through a StrengthsFinder Series. Learn the 101s of StrengthsFinder. And how knowing your Strengths impacts your marriage, parenting and career.

Merry Christmas!

Next Episode

Redeeming Shame through Community :: Dr. Curt Thompson [Ep 308]

Our kids begin to feel and respond to shame as early as 15 to 18 months of age. Those early moments can begin a lifelong struggle with feeling unworthy, inadequate and unlovable. Shame also disintegrates us (separating our thinking brain from our feeling brain) and isolates us from others.

My guest is Dr. Curt Thompson, a psychiatrist and expert on the effects of shame and how to find freedom from the lifelong negative messages that come after us and our family.

“One of the things that we notice about shame is that because we are immobilized and we are hiding, shame does not actually ever allow us to move toward God. This is why we have to have someone come and find us. This is why when our children are experiencing shame, we have to go and find them. This is why it's important for us as parents to have others who are coming to find us.”

YES! Moms don’t let moms sit in shame. We can choose to seek out others when they are stuck in the shame cycle. Who are your 2 or 3 moms that will help you tell your story more truly?

Dr. Thompson walks us through some practical ways to build in memories and physical reminders to work against shame in the future for both ourselves and others. And throughout our conversation he points back to how God doesn’t leave us to deal with shame alone.

“The beautiful thing is Jesus isn’t worried about our kids. He's not worried about your mothering. He's delighted. He knows how hard this work is and he knows that we will do it imperfectly. Even when we have our worst moments in which we foist to shame upon our kids or when our kids experience shame against everything that we're doing to try to combat it, God is saying: ‘I'm not worried. I never run out of options.’”

Connect with Dr. Thompson:

Links Mentioned:

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