103. Forgiving What You Can't Forget (with Lysa TerKeurst)
11/17/20 • 34 min
Forgiveness is certainly not the easiest topic to cover for anyone, but what if the ultimate betrayal was laid at your feet. How would you react then? For Lysa TerKeurst it led to authoring a book all about using forgiveness to heal and grow after a terrible experience.
Lysa found out several years ago that her husband was being unfaithful. Not just once or twice, but had been repeatedly unfaithful along with having a substance abuse problem. When she found out she was devastated.
The pain was so terrible it would literally stop her in her tracks no matter where she was. She was having panic attacks and anxiety flare ups and she was just lost to the pain. So she made an appointment to see her counselor and from there she truly began to heal.
You see she had a very “little girl” view of how forgiveness works and it hadn’t grown up with her. Not that she thinks that simply forgiving her husband of his faults would have saved them any of the pain that they went through, but if her sense of forgiveness had matured, she may have saved herself from some of that pain.
Listen as she shares her story and how it influenced her need to write her latest book, Forgiving What You Can’t Forget. She’s truly baring it all and sharing how we can use these tactics throughout the holiday season as well. Forgiveness is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself. So stop holding yourself back from giving it.
In This Episode:
[01:30] Welcome Lysa TerKeurst to the show and hear more about her and her family.
[03:43] Why she chose to write her most recent book.
[07:18] What caused her extreme sadness and anger and inability to forgive.
[09:24] Learn what her therapist did to help her reach a point that she could forgive.
[13:01] Why forgiveness is a gift that you can receive for yourself.
[14:56] What happens when you stuff pain down and refuse to acknowledge it.
[17:22] Lysa’s first memories of forgiveness.
[20:00] What did she do after acknowledging her pain?
[26:13] Lysa’s advice for the woman who is living in their pain.
[29:29] It doesn’t make you an unforgiving person to draw boundaries.
[30:43] Where she is now after writing this book.
Links and Resources:
Money Saving Mom Deal Seekers Facebook group
Forgiving What You Can’t Forget by Lysa TerKeurst
The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk
Our Sponsors:
* Check out Armoire: https://armoire.style/CRYSTAL
* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com
Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Forgiveness is certainly not the easiest topic to cover for anyone, but what if the ultimate betrayal was laid at your feet. How would you react then? For Lysa TerKeurst it led to authoring a book all about using forgiveness to heal and grow after a terrible experience.
Lysa found out several years ago that her husband was being unfaithful. Not just once or twice, but had been repeatedly unfaithful along with having a substance abuse problem. When she found out she was devastated.
The pain was so terrible it would literally stop her in her tracks no matter where she was. She was having panic attacks and anxiety flare ups and she was just lost to the pain. So she made an appointment to see her counselor and from there she truly began to heal.
You see she had a very “little girl” view of how forgiveness works and it hadn’t grown up with her. Not that she thinks that simply forgiving her husband of his faults would have saved them any of the pain that they went through, but if her sense of forgiveness had matured, she may have saved herself from some of that pain.
Listen as she shares her story and how it influenced her need to write her latest book, Forgiving What You Can’t Forget. She’s truly baring it all and sharing how we can use these tactics throughout the holiday season as well. Forgiveness is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself. So stop holding yourself back from giving it.
In This Episode:
[01:30] Welcome Lysa TerKeurst to the show and hear more about her and her family.
[03:43] Why she chose to write her most recent book.
[07:18] What caused her extreme sadness and anger and inability to forgive.
[09:24] Learn what her therapist did to help her reach a point that she could forgive.
[13:01] Why forgiveness is a gift that you can receive for yourself.
[14:56] What happens when you stuff pain down and refuse to acknowledge it.
[17:22] Lysa’s first memories of forgiveness.
[20:00] What did she do after acknowledging her pain?
[26:13] Lysa’s advice for the woman who is living in their pain.
[29:29] It doesn’t make you an unforgiving person to draw boundaries.
[30:43] Where she is now after writing this book.
Links and Resources:
Money Saving Mom Deal Seekers Facebook group
Forgiving What You Can’t Forget by Lysa TerKeurst
The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk
Our Sponsors:
* Check out Armoire: https://armoire.style/CRYSTAL
* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com
Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Previous Episode
102. Soul Care During Stressful Seasons
There is a lot going on in the world right now — and there is a lot going on in our home, too. In the middle of the noise and rush of life, it can be easy for our souls to get neglected.
In today’s episode of The Crystal Paine Show, Jesse and I talk about how we’re prioritizing soul care during what can feel like a stressful season. We talk about some R&R’s for our soul and challenge you to think of what soul care might look like for you right now.
In addition, we share an update on Champ’s reunification, we talk a little about the election, Jesse shares a strategy he’s implementing in order to get more reading time in, I talk about a book I’m reading, and we talk about soap and Hulu. (Yes, you just never quite know what you’ll get when you tune into the podcast!)
In This Episode:
[00:36] This past week has been a doozy of a week -- both politically and personally.
[03:05] We share an update on Champ.
[04:42] Why we’ve been working hard at helping Champ to form attachments. it [08:15] Jesse shares why he starts books but hates to finish them and what he’s doing to help change this.
[10:10] I’ve been reading The Body Keeps the Score.
[16:44] Why we’ve loved having Hulu.
[18:05] Bath and Body Works Apple Pumpkin soap is saving my life this week.
[19:30] We’re diving into soul care for when life feels stressful.
[21:28] The first of the four “R’s” for the soul is recipes.
[23:45] Jesse shares some of the rhythms that are helping his soul right now.
[25:26] Reading is such an amazing “R” for the soul.
[28:26] Rest is also so important.
Links and Resources:
- The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk
- Bath and Body Works Apple Pumpkin soap
- Sign up for the Hot Deals Email List
- MoneySavingMom.com
- My Instagram account (I’d love for you to follow me there! I usually hop on at least a few times per day and share behind-the-scenes photos and videos, my grocery store hauls, funny stories, or just anything I’m pondering or would like your advice or feedback on!)
- Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email: [email protected]
Our Sponsors:
* Check out Armoire: https://armoire.style/CRYSTAL
* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com
Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Next Episode
104. Sharing Some Good News!
I was sitting with a few women recently and we were sharing some heavy things in our lives and big feelings. After a little while, I said, "Does anyone have any good news to share?"
It's so easy to focus on the hard and difficult things. And I think we do need to acknowledge our feelings and not try to stuff down the difficult things, slap on a happy face, and pretend we're okay. But at the same time, I also think it's so good -- and important -- even on hard days and during sad or overwhelming seasons to look for the good, to notice the beautiful, and to practice an attitude of gratitude. Because, as you've heard it said, what you look for is usually what you see.
If you focus on the negative, you can find a lot to complain about. If you focus on the positive, you can find a lot to be grateful for!
In this week's episode, Jesse and I sit down and talk about some positive, fun, beautiful, and good things happening in our lives. We share about milestones, perspective shifts, and lessons we're learning. Plus, we talk about some fun updates and funny happenings. I also discover the history behind the phrase "deader than a doornail" (thanks, Jesse!) and we share what's saving our lives and what books we're reading.
In This Episode:
[00:42] We’re sharing some good news and fun things that have been happening lately.
[01:26] Champ is reunifying with his mom soon and we talk about processing that.
[04:02] Jesse’s Apple iPhone case is saving his life this week.
[07:25] My top 10 baby products are saving my life.
[08:58] Jesse is reading Fortitude by Dan Crenshaw and listening to One Vote Away by Ted Cruz.
[10:17] I’ve been reading Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl.
[13:16] Why we’ve decided to share some good news today.
[15:03] Jesse recounts the wonderful baseball season that they had this year.
[16:52] I’ve turned in the FINAL edits for my new book!
[20:18] Some fun updates on the babies and why we basically never do professional family photos.
[24:22] Jesse had a lot of fun shopping for the babies for the photos.
[25:14] We have a driver at our house -- and both Jesse and I have been teaching her, something I never expected I'd say!
[29:37] How the seminary class I'm taking is really challenging me.
[33:52] Some thoughts on doing your own research, not just going to one source, and what our currently political climate is teaching me.
[36:06] What is your good news right now?
Links and Resources:
- Apple iPhone Cases
- Top 10 Baby Items
- Fortitude by Dan Crenshaw
- One Vote Away by Ted Cruz
- Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl
- The Bible Project
- Sign up for the Hot Deals Email List
- MoneySavingMom.com
- My Instagram account (I’d love for you to follow me there! I usually hop on at least a few times per day and share behind-the-scenes photos and videos, my grocery store hauls, funny stories, or just anything I’m pondering or would like your advice or feedback on!)
- Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email: [email protected]
Our Sponsors:
* Check out Armoire: https://armoire.style/CRYSTAL
* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com
Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
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