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Crystal Paine Show - 83. How to Parent a Strong-Willed Child

83. How to Parent a Strong-Willed Child

06/23/20 • 32 min

Crystal Paine Show

"Could you share some parenting advise for raising my enneagram 8 daughter? She is very headstrong and persistent, but has a complete disregard for rules and regularly challenges authority. As an enneagram 5 (and people pleaser), I do not understand the way she thinks. We have gone around and around and I've tried to get to the heart is the issue. But it seems her bottom line is she is going to do whatever it takes to get what she wants. How do I help channel her perseverance and tenacity in a positive way? She is only 8 years old. -a podcast listener"

When I got this email in my inbox, I could relate so much -- because I remember being that 8-year-old girl with a very strong personality. And truth be told, I think "headstrong" and "persistent" are two words that can still describe me as a 38-year-old woman!

Oftentimes, we hear people talk about their "strong-willed child" in a way that makes it seem so negative... as if a child's will needs to be broken and replaced. But that's like trying to strip someone of their God-given personality.

I believe that the character qualities of persistence and determination can be such a gift -- to your home, to your community, and to the world. That's why I want to encourage you to stop trying to stifle a child's strong personality and instead embrace the strength that it can bring.

In this episode, Jesse and I share encouragement for parents who are raising strong kids. I share from the perspective of being a strong kid growing up and we both share from the perspective of raising a child who has a very strong personality.

In This Episode:

[02:26] Why Snuggle Sacks have been a life-saver recently.

[04:53] I came down with mastitis on Tuesday, so here's what's been saving my life.

[07:59] My experience getting a Coronavirus test (Spoiler... it was negative!)

[10:59] A book update on Get Out of Your Head.

[14:07] We’re chatting all about raising strong-willed kids.

[16:21] It’s okay if you can't relate with your kids, but seeking to understand them is so important.

[17:16] Why rules for an Enneagram 8 are very restrictive.

[19:29] Change your mindset and see the desire for independence as a blessing.

[21:03] Stop using negative labels to define your kids.

[22:07] How studying personality typings can be so beneficial.

[24:26] Celebrate their strengths because they really are gifts.

[26:11] Say yes as often as possible for your child.

[29:45] Don't overly protect your kids from struggle and failure.

Links and Resources:


Our Sponsors:
* Check out Armoire: https://armoire.style/CRYSTAL
* Check out Glorify: https://glorify-app.com/crystal
* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com
Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
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"Could you share some parenting advise for raising my enneagram 8 daughter? She is very headstrong and persistent, but has a complete disregard for rules and regularly challenges authority. As an enneagram 5 (and people pleaser), I do not understand the way she thinks. We have gone around and around and I've tried to get to the heart is the issue. But it seems her bottom line is she is going to do whatever it takes to get what she wants. How do I help channel her perseverance and tenacity in a positive way? She is only 8 years old. -a podcast listener"

When I got this email in my inbox, I could relate so much -- because I remember being that 8-year-old girl with a very strong personality. And truth be told, I think "headstrong" and "persistent" are two words that can still describe me as a 38-year-old woman!

Oftentimes, we hear people talk about their "strong-willed child" in a way that makes it seem so negative... as if a child's will needs to be broken and replaced. But that's like trying to strip someone of their God-given personality.

I believe that the character qualities of persistence and determination can be such a gift -- to your home, to your community, and to the world. That's why I want to encourage you to stop trying to stifle a child's strong personality and instead embrace the strength that it can bring.

In this episode, Jesse and I share encouragement for parents who are raising strong kids. I share from the perspective of being a strong kid growing up and we both share from the perspective of raising a child who has a very strong personality.

In This Episode:

[02:26] Why Snuggle Sacks have been a life-saver recently.

[04:53] I came down with mastitis on Tuesday, so here's what's been saving my life.

[07:59] My experience getting a Coronavirus test (Spoiler... it was negative!)

[10:59] A book update on Get Out of Your Head.

[14:07] We’re chatting all about raising strong-willed kids.

[16:21] It’s okay if you can't relate with your kids, but seeking to understand them is so important.

[17:16] Why rules for an Enneagram 8 are very restrictive.

[19:29] Change your mindset and see the desire for independence as a blessing.

[21:03] Stop using negative labels to define your kids.

[22:07] How studying personality typings can be so beneficial.

[24:26] Celebrate their strengths because they really are gifts.

[26:11] Say yes as often as possible for your child.

[29:45] Don't overly protect your kids from struggle and failure.

Links and Resources:


Our Sponsors:
* Check out Armoire: https://armoire.style/CRYSTAL
* Check out Glorify: https://glorify-app.com/crystal
* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com
Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Previous Episode

undefined - 82. Our Favorite TV Shows

82. Our Favorite TV Shows

One of the things our family loves to do together is watch shows and movies. Recently, someone asked what our favorite shows are to watch together as a family. So, we all talked together as a family and put together a list of some of the shows we've most enjoyed together.

On this week's podcast episode, we share that list + we talk about why we don't have a TV in our living room and how we approach being intentional and careful in our TV-watching.

We also talk about a book we're finishing together as a family, the Panera unlimited coffee subscription, and a YouTube video I've rewatched multiple times.

In This Episode:

[00:36] Welcome back to the show... and a semi-apology from Jesse. ;)

[02:46] Panera Bread’s unlimited coffee subscription is saving Jesse’s life.

[06:28] The Squirrel Ninja Obstacle Course is something I've been loving!

[09:33] We’ve been reading Job in the Bible together and Jesse is excited about the next Brad Thor book, Near Dark.

[11:49] The kids and I have been reading The Boy on the Wooden Box.

[15:25] This week we’re talking about our favorite TV shows!

[16:35] Why we don’t have a TV in our living room.

[19:14] Our TV is in our bedroom but we pretty much only watch it as a family.

[20:57] Do your research before watching shows with your kids.

[22:33] Why we loved Timeless and are sad that it was cancelled.

[24:58] Our family love This Is Us as well, but we started this one off with just us before sharing with our kids.

[27:03] We're just starting watching some seasons of Survivor together.

[28:15] We also enjoy The Apprentice, but be careful with the App you find it on.

[29:15] The Amazing Race is another one of our favorites because we love to travel.

[30:25] Last, but not least, is Designated Survivor. (Please only watch the first two seasons!)

Links and Resources:


Our Sponsors:
* Check out Armoire: https://armoire.style/CRYSTAL
* Check out Glorify: https://glorify-app.com/crystal
* Check out IXL and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.ixl.com
Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Next Episode

undefined - 84. Our Family's Favorite Games

84. Our Family's Favorite Games

Board games and card games can be such a great way to have some frugal fun! Best of all, once you've invested in a game, you can play it over and over and over again -- without ever spending another dime!

In this week's episode of the podcast, Jesse and I share our family's top five favorite games. We had a very hard time narrowing the list down to just five, but we did it (well, we did mention a few other favorites at the end, because we just couldn't help ourselves!)

The games we picked are ones we have played again and again and again. They are great for group games and most can be played with 4-6+ people.

In this episode, we also talk about Jesse's 23&Me DNA test results (and why I don't want to take the test!), a book recommendation from a reader, a video that had me smiling, and how Jesse is getting free coffee every day.

In This Episode:

[00:33] Who’s ready to chat about our favorite games?

[01:15] Panera's coffee is once again saving Jesse’s life. Listen in to find out how to get it FREE all summer!

[04:00] He also got his 23andMe results back and they were, um, interesting.

[07:35] What’s saving my life? Another YouTube video!

[09:20] Schindler’s List is also a book and it was recommended to us by one of our amazing listeners.

[13:08] Who's ready to talk about games?

[13:39] First up, Dutch Blitz, the card game -- probably at the top of our list.

[15:07] Next is Double Ditto, a game my parents introduced us to.

[16:14] Another one is Ticket to Ride... which is Jesse and the kids' favorite.

[18:36] I love Mad Gab -- especially when played with a group.

[20:15] Last but certainly not least is Phase 10, a game we played a lot in our early marriage.

[22:06] A few more games that didn't make our top 5 list.

[26:34] What are your favorite games?

Links and Resources:


Our Sponsors:
* Check out Armoire: https://armoire.style/CRYSTAL
* Check out Glorify: https://glorify-app.com/crystal
* Check out IXL and use my code TODA...

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