resentment - a common caregiver emotion

08/03/20 • 21 min

Caregivers often experience emotions that they don't want to admit to. Your role as a caregiver is unique to you and your loved one and you will experience your own versions of emotion. In this episode, I discuss the emotion that I observe the most in my role as an OT working with caregivers and their loved ones and it is resentment.
Ways to recognize your emotion are discussed. What to do when you encounter your main emotion. Ways to minimize the power of the emotion over you and your loved one:

Minimizing the challenges of everyday activities
recognize what part of the day that is contributing to this emotion
recognize your emotion, own it, down let it own your day
Create a path to move through the emotion
Pick one thing ( start with just 1) in your day that you can alter with your loved one, to allow for less contribution to this emotion
Make more time for yourself
talk to your loved one about your feeling and your goal
avoid a task and/or strain of a task creating a wedge between you and your loved one

Make your needs known to your support team ( therapists, MDs, family, friends). I have been guilty of minimizing the role of the caregiver and the strain that they experience as an OT until I started asking the right questions to figure out what aspects of daily life could be going better and what I could do to help. Caregivers, speak up, and let us know what is hard for you to do or what scares you. Ask for help. It is okay for you to feel whatever feeling you are experiencing and you are not alone.
I would really appreciate you leaving me a comment, sharing your needs with me so I can make an effort to address them in future episodes:

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Minimizing the challenges of everyday activities
recognize what part of the day that is contributing to this emotion
recognize your emotion, own it, down let it own your day
Create a path to move through the emotion
Pick one thing ( start with just 1) in your day that you can alter with your loved one, to allow for less contribution to this emotion
Make more time for yourself
talk to your loved one about your feeling and your goal
avoid a task and/or strain of a task creating a wedge between you and your loved one

https://www.facebook.com/groups/658781718322974

Support the show

Previous Episode

Create Vision - don't lose site of what you want

As the caregiver, your role can be all-consuming and you might lose sight of how you want life to be. Maybe you have given up on trying to imagine your life any different than it is right now. It is a challenge to help manage your loved one's life and continue to live your own. In this episode, you will gain some simple strategies to help you focus on your goals, create a vision for personal goals, and minimize the overwhelm that you may be feeling as the caregiver. This will add value and quality to not only your life but your loved ones also.
I challenge you to think of your role as a caregiver as a business whether you are a paid caregiver or not. Let's face it, your most likely not doing this as a hobby. If you think of your loved one as your business partner and you can set goals and create a vision with your loved one, you will feel a change and see a difference. Invest in your business and watch it grow and flourish. Sounds way out there? It doesn't have to be such a stretch and when you change your mindset, you will find that it makes sense.

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Next Episode

5 things you must keep doing for optimal function and mobility

Over the years I have found that there are a few simple but powerful things that hold my patients back from optimal function. These may sound simple but they make a big difference. Each of these affect a persons ability to complete their daily tasks, personal care, functional mobility and general wellness.

crossing your ankle over your opposite knee: this simple motion makes it possible to get your clothing over your feet ( pants, socks , shoes) and it makes it easier to wash your feet and so much more. The mobility of the hip and knee in combination for this position is often lacking due to tightness, pain or anatomy. It can be improved and every little percentage of improvement makes a difference
getting up from a chair the right way: pushing from the surface that you sit, using your hands at your sides instead of pulling up from something in front of you. Using the right muscles in your legs and shifting your weight over your feet correctly will allow for rising from a seated surface with less risk of falling.
keep your ankles and toes moving: mobile ankles and toes improve balance. A stiff ankle will limit response time, increase trip hazard, shorten stride. Toe mobility is needed for balance in standing, reaching, walking and also for proper hygiene. take your wiggling toes for granted.
sleeping in bed: once people start sleeping in a recliner or other chair ( yes, this is more common than you would think) they lose important mobility that carries over into other areas of their daily mobility. It is also important for fluid reabsorption, true rest, spine and postural alignment and maintaining the use of key postural muscles that are used to get into and out of bed.
Hydration: water intake is enormously powerful and can not be overlooked. the lack of proper hydration leads to weakness, Urinary track infections, low blood pressure, feeling of faintness, fatigue and more. Unless you are on a water intake restriction from your MD for health reasons, the intake of this simple source is most likely a missing link to improved health and function.

These 5 areas are what I investigate first as an Occupational Therapist completing an assessment and they are the last things that I remind my patients to keep doing when they are no longer under the care and training of myself and other clinicians.

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