Inside, I Really Feel Hurt: Boys and Islamophobia

01/13/20 • 55 min

January 29, 2017 saw the worst mass murder in a house of worship in Canadian history: the Québec City mosque shooting in which six Muslim worshippers were killed and 19 injured.

Rehan was ten. “I remember when it happened,” he said on the podcast. “That night, I actually started crying because I was like, ‘What if that ever happened to me?’”

Islamophobia is on the rise in Canada. It’s perhaps most visible in the forms of explicit violence such as the massacre in Québec City, but it also manifests in schoolyard jokes and whitewashed media. Girls having their hjiabs torn off; refugees being told to leave. A kid like Rehan who can describe racism as easily as his evening prayers.

Violence doesn’t end just because you cross a border. And just because we can point to a historical event and say that it was an example of Islamophobia doesn’t mean that it’s not still happening now. It is still happening. We need to talk about it.

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SOURCES

Jasmin Zine, Islamophobia and hate crimes continue to rise in Canada →

Joanna Schroeder, Racists Are Recruiting. Watch Your White Sons. →

CONNECT

Breaking the Boy Code is part of the NGM Podcast Network. Next Gen Men is a nonprofit organization dedicated to engaging boys and men in the movement for gender justice. Learn more about our efforts and how you can support us at nextgenmen.ca. Reach out at [email protected] or on social media.

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January 29, 2017 saw the worst mass murder in a house of worship in Canadian history: the Québec City mosque shooting in which six Muslim worshippers were killed and 19 injured.

Rehan was ten. “I remember when it happened,” he said on the podcast. “That night, I actually started crying because I was like, ‘What if that ever happened to me?’”

Continue reading on Medium

SOURCES

Jasmin Zine, Islamophobia and hate crimes continue to rise in Canada →

Joanna Schroeder, Racists Are Recruiting. Watch Your White Sons. →

CONNECT

@boypodcast on Instagram, YouTube and Vimeo
@nextgenmen on Instagram and LinkedIn

Previous Episode

What About the Boys

Breaking the Boy Code began in March 2018, or the summer of 2017, or April 2014 depending on your parameters. But some part of it has its roots in an underweight boy with too many bracelets and long blonde hair—because if you had asked me when I was young what I thought about gender stereotypes and rules about masculinity, I would have had a lot to say.

I learned at a young age that some things are not allowed for boys, and some things result in violence that I wasn’t ready for. I was told I was doing it wrong. I was told I was a girl. I was called a fag before I knew what a fag was. As I navigated the winding path of both resistance and adherence to the rules of masculinity, I went to great lengths to hide or change parts of who I was. And while I had some great teachers, I also had teachers who were unprepared to intervene on homophobic violence in their classrooms.

I’m now an educator, and I’ve seen firsthand the impact of committed and authentic relationships with boys. Boys are saying: ‘We want change. We want these kinds of conversations about masculinity, about mental health and relationships, we want to be supported by committed educators who spend time with us and help us create a space to explore who we want to be.’ So as parents and educators we are part of something better than what we experienced when we were young.

“There is a systematic mistreatment underlying boyhood, and those of us responsible for its design and maintenance—not boys themselves—must fix its flaws. We will find ready partners in boys themselves, who have a keen interest in being seen as they are, hearts beating loudly behind the masks they must wear.” — Michael Reichert

Together, we are breaking the boy code.

SOURCES

Michael Reichert, How to Raise a Boy →

CONNECT

@boypodcast on Instagram, YouTube and Vimeo
@nextgenmen on Instagram and LinkedIn

Next Episode

I’m Becoming More Like Them: Boys and Belonging

Logan moved to Florida at the end of the summer. I’ll never know entirely what he left behind in California. I know that he had half a dozen friends on his street and the next, that on early mornings he would go to one of their houses for breakfast before bicycling together to school. I know that his grade at school held a lot of trust between themselves and cried at their graduation ceremony. I know that they were almost always together.

The new school isn’t the same. It’s a private school built for achievement, serving a highly ambitious student population and no single school district. It’s meant a lot of changes for Logan, with one of the most significant being the depth of his relationships with his peers.

Over the months, he’s also noticed changes within himself. While he still identifies the same strengths in himself that I do—his capacity for connection, his thoughtfulness and selflessness—he sees himself reflecting the attitudes and priorities of the people around him. “I don’t know if it’s just high school or being in a new place, or new people or whatever it is, but I feel like I’m changing,” he told me. “Like, I can notice myself...my personality is different from when I left.”

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