Episode 29: Does Sobriety Define You? Should it?
02/27/25 • 54 min
In this thought-provoking episode of Beyond Sexual Brokenness, Sean and Dayne go head-to-head in a deep and honest debate: Should sobriety define who you are? Or is it just a part of your journey—not your identity?
Some say sobriety is the foundation of healing, the proof of real change. Others argue that making it your identity can be a dangerous trap—what happens when you relapse? Does that mean you've lost yourself? If you’re not "sober enough," does that mean you’re not recovering?
Sean and Dayne take different stances, pushing each other—and you—to critically examine your relationship with sobriety. They reflect on how their perspectives have shifted after a year of committed recovery. Sean shares why he fought against letting relapse define him, while Dayne questions whether avoiding that definition makes it harder to stay accountable.
- Can sobriety be a core part of who you are without it becoming a burden?
- If we don’t let sobriety define us, are we leaving the door open to return to old patterns?
- Is sobriety the key to reclaiming our true selves, rather than something that restricts us?
- How do we hold onto the passion for recovery when setbacks happen?
- Are you more than your sobriety, or is that a risky mindset?
Join the debate and reflect on what sobriety means for you. Does it define you? Should it?
Twitter: @beyondbrokeness
Email: [email protected]
In this thought-provoking episode of Beyond Sexual Brokenness, Sean and Dayne go head-to-head in a deep and honest debate: Should sobriety define who you are? Or is it just a part of your journey—not your identity?
Some say sobriety is the foundation of healing, the proof of real change. Others argue that making it your identity can be a dangerous trap—what happens when you relapse? Does that mean you've lost yourself? If you’re not "sober enough," does that mean you’re not recovering?
Sean and Dayne take different stances, pushing each other—and you—to critically examine your relationship with sobriety. They reflect on how their perspectives have shifted after a year of committed recovery. Sean shares why he fought against letting relapse define him, while Dayne questions whether avoiding that definition makes it harder to stay accountable.
- Can sobriety be a core part of who you are without it becoming a burden?
- If we don’t let sobriety define us, are we leaving the door open to return to old patterns?
- Is sobriety the key to reclaiming our true selves, rather than something that restricts us?
- How do we hold onto the passion for recovery when setbacks happen?
- Are you more than your sobriety, or is that a risky mindset?
Join the debate and reflect on what sobriety means for you. Does it define you? Should it?
Twitter: @beyondbrokeness
Email: [email protected]
Previous Episode
Episode 28: 'Under the Bridge Downtown'
In this episode of Beyond Sexual Brokenness, Sean and Dayne take a deep dive into Under the Bridge by Red Hot Chili Peppers, exploring how its haunting lyrics resonate with their journeys of recovery from sexual and compulsive behavior addiction.
"Sometimes I feel like I don’t have a partner, sometimes I feel like my only friend is the city I live in, the city of angels..."—Sean reflects on the deep isolation he felt at the height of his addiction, how he gave away years of his life, his integrity, and his sense of self.
Dayne considers the line, "I don’t ever want to feel like I did that day," and how it mirrors his shift in recovery—from just trying to stop destructive behaviors to finding purpose, setting goals, and embracing inspiration.
Together, they discuss how music takes on new meaning in recovery, the power of loneliness and redemption in the song, and how their own experiences align with its themes of loss, longing, and healing. Tune in for an honest and heartfelt conversation on the intersection of music and transformation.
Twitter: @beyondbrokeness
Email: [email protected]
Next Episode
Episode 30: Is Addiction a Simple Choice?
In this thought-provoking episode of Beyond Sexual Brokenness, cohosts Dayne and Sean dive into the complex question: Is addiction a simple choice? The two engage in a heartfelt debate, unpacking how this question has shaped their own recovery journeys.
Dayne wrestles with the tension between not wanting to victimize his struggles while also acknowledging how powerless he has felt at times. He shares how this year marks the first in 30 years that addiction hasn't owned him — raising the question: was there a choice involved in breaking free, or was something deeper at play?
Sean opens up about the painful paradox of recovery — how greater clarity brings greater pain, and how that pain forces him to confront the nature of his own choices. Together, they reflect on the early moments of their addiction — was watching porn or masturbating for the first time truly a choice? And if it was, does that even matter now?
Through raw vulnerability and honest disagreement, Dayne and Sean explore the relationship between choice, accountability, and the disease model of addiction. Whether you're in recovery yourself or supporting someone who is, this episode invites you to wrestle with the nuanced reality of addiction — where willpower, pain, and grace all collide.
Listen in as they ask the hard questions without easy answers — because sometimes the most healing conversations are the ones we can't tie up in a neat bow.
Twitter: @beyondbrokeness
Email: [email protected]
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