Aspiecast Episode 13 - Not knowing if I gave an outburst & my vocal tics issues

Hi... In this 12th episode of the Aspiecast podcast, I mention some of the details surrounding me being sexually assaulted some years back, in my late 40s. Fortunately this was not an assault that resulted in me having to go to the hospital or having to worry about disease ramifications, but it was an incident that I had absolutely no understanding of how to get out of in advance, even though there was enough time for me to take evasive action. What transpired was an aggressive, large person pinning me down inside an empty restaurant dining room after the owner had left, with the owner trusting both of us to lock up after him. The person who assaulted me was just hired that evening, about 5 hours before he pinned me down on a bench seat.

After he climbed on top of me, I remained completely still because I had no idea what I was supposed to do in the situation. He forcefully started to undress me, until he got excited to the point of climax. Luckily that was the end of it, and he wiped off my back with a napkin from the table next to him.

I wanted to do this episode in large part to address the statistic that I heard some time back which says Aspies are more likely than the average person to be sexually assaulted. I see the reason for my particular experience quite clearly in hindsight, because of 3 contrtibuting factors that combined to make me an easy target.

First is the fact that I give off signals of being somewhat different than average and appearing more lonesome as a result. Hindsight tells me that people who need to exert control over others gravitate to me. Secondly, because it is so hard to find friends, I find myself very welcoming to anyone who befriends me even for a short time. I continually remain oblivious to the warning signals that neurotypicals may be better able to sense that would indicate that it isn't wise to interact or befriend certain people.

This second aspect also applies to the types of business owners who I take on as clients. I can't sense the warning signals from those owners that other business consultants might be able to see, and as a result I get very friendly and dedicated to doing work for very unethical business owners who hire very sketchy employees.

Thirdly, it is rare for me to have instinctive indications on how to handle completely new situations involving unexpected types of interaction with another person. When such an interaction also involves something that looks like it will present a threat of some sort, there is no advance information in my brain that tells me how to react in a way that will protect myself and prevent the situation from getting worse.

A fourth issue is also a factor. In both of the sexual assaults I have experienced, alcohol was a key advance contributor. Alcohol as a contributor comes from the fact that it is so much easier to obtain the social interaction I desparately need most of the time by repeatedly placing myself in scenarios or venues where everyone is feeling good and socializing while getting more and more inebriated.

One other thing about this episode: i use the term yogurt while describing the situation. If you know where I got the yogurt connection from, do feel free to email me to let me know: [email protected].

As always do check out the books & videos I have found to be important at: http://books.aspiecast.com

Thanks,

Steve