The Truth About Your Fear of Change

10/03/24 • 46 min

This week licensed therapist Kati Morton talks about change and why it can be so difficult. She digs into ways we can stop judging ourselves for overeating, how to put ourselves out there and start living, and ways we can start to feel ready for something. She also explains how to balance prioritizing ourselves without feeling selfish, and what behavioral activation really is and why it’s the best way to combat our depression. Questions for Ask Kati Anything ep. 236 | Your mental health podcast 1. Why do I hate change so much? Change tends to worsen my depression and stress longer than anyone else seems to be affected by it at all. Is that just a personality characteristic, or is it possible that there is a reason? 02:07 2. Hi Kati, how can I stop judging myself for “overreacting” and having trauma responses to things that aren’t “big T”traumas? Other people reasonably might not have a trauma response to those same situations, so that makes me feel like I’m weak and overreacting because it shouldn’t be a big deal. I realize the judgment isn’t helping me, but I don’t know how to stop. It’s keeping me from sharing about those things with my therapist because I’m ashamed and judging myself. What should I do? 14:49 3. I’m often told that I don’t have a life. How do I put myself out there and start living? 24:07 4. Hey Kati, can you please talk about "how to get/feel ready" for something? I read that feeling not ready or simply not being able to do things can be connected to not wanting to feel ready or change. The thing is, I know that I want to have a romantic relationship, but still feel not ready. What can I do here? Thanks for your positive impact that you make 32:32 5. Hi Kati, I have been told multiple times by my therapist that I’m allowed to prioritize myself and stop trying to appease everyone else in my life. However, every time I try my inner voice tells me I’m being selfish and egotistical and shames me for thinking like this. How can I challenge these thoughts and show them they’re wrong? 37:02 6. Hey Kati! Can you talk about behavioral activation? The idea behind behavioral activation is that by deliberately practicing certain behaviors, you can “activate” a positive emotional state. 40:40

#podcast #psychology #katimorton

PUBLISHED BOOKS

Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j

Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY

ONLINE THERAPY

While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati (enjoy 10% off your first month)

SOCIAL

YouTube https://www.youtube.com/katimorton

X https://twitter.com/KatiMorton

TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@katimorton

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/katimorton

Patreon https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/katimorton1/

Pinterest https://www.pinterest.com/katimorton1/

PARTNERSHIPS

Linnea Toney [email protected]

#podcast #psychology #katimorton

PUBLISHED BOOKS

Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j

Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY

ONLINE THERAPY

While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati (enjoy 10% off your first month)

SOCIAL

YouTube https://www.youtube.com/katimorton

X https://twitter.com/KatiMorton

TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@katimorton

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/katimorton

Patreon https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/katimorton1/

Pinterest https://www.pinterest.com/katimorton1/

PARTNERSHIPS

Linnea Toney [email protected]

Previous Episode

"How do I know what's really me versus what's my mental illness?"

This week licensed therapist Kati Morton talks about distinguishing between our core personality and trauma response, how to figure out what our identity is without our mental illness, and dealing with SA online. She then explains how we can know if we are being lazy, how to ask questions in therapy, and if there are any reasons a therapist would lie to a patient. Ask Kati Anything, your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT ep. 235 Audience questions: 1. How do you help clients distinguish between behaviors or reactions that are a direct result of their trauma versus those that are part of their core personality? 01:39 2. What do you tell clients who have been depressed/anxious for so long that they don't really have an identity that excludes their illness? If your illness is part of who you are, how do you grow away from it? Edit for clarification: I'm specifically referring to childhood mental illness that lasts into adulthood 17:18 3. Hi Kati, I hope you are well, I'm feeling really confused,scared and Frankly just sh!t. I've started college this year and we have just had an online safety class as an introduction. This led to me having a panic attack and with pressure from my tutor continuing to ask what's wrong I ended up telling her something now I wish I hadn't. For context earlier this year just before leaving high school I started chatting to a boy online (stupid I know.) I was under the impression that he was just 2 years older than me... 22:52 4. How to know when you're lazy . After therapy, depression might be gone but one is used to doing nothing and getting back on track. 27:48 5. Why am I worried about asking questions in therapy? I have an incredible relationship with my long term therapist, but I cannot bring myself to ask questions. It's not just about her, but about what she thinks about why I do things, her thoughts on my current diagnosis, her advice on what to do etc. I don't have this issue with any other relationship. I suspect I am worried about rejection or maybe her answer not being what I want to hear. I have BPD, OCD, ED and CPTSD - all of which are very well managed and I am high functioning again. 29:48 6. Could you explain if there are any reasons a therapist would lie to a client? Are there any situations that would be acceptable/unacceptable? I recently found out that mine has and its shattered my trust on an emotional level but on a logical level I can understand why they may have lied (would like to think they had my best interest at the forefront and not intentionally want to upset me) - for context we planned a break from therapy for a period of time and the lie meant we ended earlier than expected, very abruptly when I was going through THE worst few months of my life. I now feel so let down and unsupported, and find myself questioning other things. I would love to know your thoughts! 34:16 #podcast #therapist #katimorton #healthy #therapy #therapy My Books (in stores now) Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? http://bit.ly/2s0mULy Online Therapy I do not currently offer online therapy. My sponsor BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist, please visit https://betterhelp.com/kati Patreon https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ Affiliates (commissions earned help us create new episodes) Amazon https://www.amazon.com/shop/katimorton Partnerships Linnea Toney [email protected] Please Read If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room.

Next Episode

How to Properly Deal with Attachment & Emotion Regulation

This week licensed therapist Kati Morton discusses attachment and how that can show up in therapy, she also digs into emotion regulation and finding healthier ways to do it, and finally she talks about attachment in our romantic relationships and how to better manage it.

Audience questions for Ask Kati Anything ep. 237 | Your mental health podcast

1. Hi Kati! I hope you are well, I absolutely love your videos and you are helping me so much. My question is attachment related. I was in therapy for a year and now ended a few months ago and I am really struggling to cope now. I have an anxious attachment style and severe abandonment issues. Since the beginning of therapy I've been super attached to my therapist and feared therapy ending. I told her about everything I was feeling and we worked on therapy ending quite a lot, but we didn't really do any attachment work... 01:38

2. Hey Kati, could you talk about emotional regulation please? I have been talking to a friend about self and co-regulation. Could you possibly explain a bit about how they relate to each other and how to learn how to self regulate? I think it is coming from an anxious attachment style for me and I’m really struggling to self regulate but it’s so difficult to reach out. It’s something I am coming to realize I struggle with and I feel like it will strain my relationship with my best friend because she is dealing with me a lot at the moment. She is amazing and is so understanding but I don’t want to put this on her. We have already talked a bit about it. 14:42

3. I second the idea of emotional regulation. I never learned that skill. All I learned from observation was to not show anyone how I feel. That’s problematic for those of us on the spectrum. I just realized I’ve had meltdowns in the past. I thought that’s what “crying” or “being mad” was. So I want to process and regulate better going forward. 21:07

4. Hi Kati!! Could you talk about why self harm helps relieve our intense emotions in the moment of self harming? Could you also talk about why someone touching where we self harm can be so triggering? My friend grabbed my wrist the other day and I freaked out. 24:48

5. Hi Kati! Whenever I can‘t see my partner for longer periods of time (due to travel for work or holidays), I miss him but simultaneously get a strong urge to pick a fight and break up. I really spiral, feel worthless and unloved and am disgusted with myself. Similarly, as soon as my therapist is away on holiday and I wish I had a session, I freak out and want to quit therapy for good. This seems to be a weird pattern throughout my relationships I can‘t quite get a handle on. Where can this come from and how do I address it? I really struggle to not impulsively act on my feelings. In case that’s important: I have ADHD and suffer from CPTSD due to emotional and physical abuse during childhood. Thanks for everything you do! 28:17

6. Hi. I recently broke up with my long term partner. It was very hard but not dramatic, I just fell out of love, but it triggered many feelings of fear about aging and loneliness. I feel sometimes like I'm a bad person that is not deserving of love and I feel guilt about the breakup. 35:41

#podcast #psychology #katimorton PUBLISHED BOOKS Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati (enjoy 10% off your first month) SOCIAL X https://twitter.com/KatiMorton TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@katimorton

YouTube https://www.youtube.com/katimorton

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/katimorton Patreon https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ Facebook https://www.facebook.com/katimorton1/ Pinterest https://www.pinterest.com/katimorton1/ PARTNERSHIPS Linnea Toney [email protected] Partnerships: Linnea Toney [email protected]