33 | Unpacking Trauma And Achievement with Psychologist Andrea Michel
05/08/24 • 59 min
Text Monique directly! Share thoughts, feels or feedback!
In this episode, we explore the intricate web of trauma, perfectionism and high achievement with Andrea Michel.
As a developmental psychologist, trauma-sensitive leadership coach, and former corporate badass, Andrea peels back the layers of what it means to be a high achiever, how our childhood traumas shape our professional lives, and the subtle yet significant distinction between burnout and trauma responses in the workplace. She offers a compassionate lens through which to view our inner perfectionist – not as something to be vanquished, but as a part of ourselves that requires understanding and, if we choose, healing.
Whether you're a leader seeking to create a trauma-sensitive environment or an individual ready to confront the roots of your perfectionism, Andrea's expertise will guide you toward a path of self-awareness and empowerment. Press play to join the conversation.
Some key points discussed in this episode include:
- Understanding decision-making
- High-functioning behavior, overachievement, and childhood trauma
- Parenting and trauma
- Forming relationships based solely on achievement
- Self-awareness and Healing
- Differentiating burnout and trauma response
GEMS DROPPED
“Simply put, trauma is any experience or any event that overwhelms our internal resources. And when we feel out of control of a situation. So in other words, trauma is anything that happens to us where we feel like we have no control over the situation and we're basically stressed out to the max. And so I like to say, when we think about trauma, there is the event, there the experience, and then there is the expectations. So the event is the thing that happens, the experience is how we interpret that thing that happened and then the expectation is how do others around us respond to that situation.” - Andrea Michel
“What I come into contact with, even with some clients in session, sometime we're asking, like, where does that come from? Why is that showing up? Why is that happening? What was that about? But we can't take it much further. And I just feel like sometimes it's just another reminder that you can't really do this alone. You can, many times only get yourself so far, because we can't see outside. We can't see outside of how we see.” - Monique R. Shields
“We have to unburden ourselves of things that we ultimately cannot control and we're not supposed to anyway.” - Monique R. Shields
“If you want to stop repeating the same cycle, you have to heal the trauma.” - Andrea Michel
MENTIONED
EP. 14 Spiritual Knowing and Self-Integrity with Josie Rosario
GUEST LINKS
Learn more about Andrea Michel | Website | The Global Center for Trauma | Private Coaching
STAY IN TOUCH
Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to [email protected].
Text Monique directly! Share thoughts, feels or feedback!
In this episode, we explore the intricate web of trauma, perfectionism and high achievement with Andrea Michel.
As a developmental psychologist, trauma-sensitive leadership coach, and former corporate badass, Andrea peels back the layers of what it means to be a high achiever, how our childhood traumas shape our professional lives, and the subtle yet significant distinction between burnout and trauma responses in the workplace. She offers a compassionate lens through which to view our inner perfectionist – not as something to be vanquished, but as a part of ourselves that requires understanding and, if we choose, healing.
Whether you're a leader seeking to create a trauma-sensitive environment or an individual ready to confront the roots of your perfectionism, Andrea's expertise will guide you toward a path of self-awareness and empowerment. Press play to join the conversation.
Some key points discussed in this episode include:
- Understanding decision-making
- High-functioning behavior, overachievement, and childhood trauma
- Parenting and trauma
- Forming relationships based solely on achievement
- Self-awareness and Healing
- Differentiating burnout and trauma response
GEMS DROPPED
“Simply put, trauma is any experience or any event that overwhelms our internal resources. And when we feel out of control of a situation. So in other words, trauma is anything that happens to us where we feel like we have no control over the situation and we're basically stressed out to the max. And so I like to say, when we think about trauma, there is the event, there the experience, and then there is the expectations. So the event is the thing that happens, the experience is how we interpret that thing that happened and then the expectation is how do others around us respond to that situation.” - Andrea Michel
“What I come into contact with, even with some clients in session, sometime we're asking, like, where does that come from? Why is that showing up? Why is that happening? What was that about? But we can't take it much further. And I just feel like sometimes it's just another reminder that you can't really do this alone. You can, many times only get yourself so far, because we can't see outside. We can't see outside of how we see.” - Monique R. Shields
“We have to unburden ourselves of things that we ultimately cannot control and we're not supposed to anyway.” - Monique R. Shields
“If you want to stop repeating the same cycle, you have to heal the trauma.” - Andrea Michel
MENTIONED
EP. 14 Spiritual Knowing and Self-Integrity with Josie Rosario
GUEST LINKS
Learn more about Andrea Michel | Website | The Global Center for Trauma | Private Coaching
STAY IN TOUCH
Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to [email protected].
Previous Episode
32 | The Right Time Is Not Coming
Text Monique directly! Share thoughts, feels or feedback!
Are you waiting for the perfect moment to make a change?
In this episode, I am shattering the illusion of the "magical right time" that so many of us are waiting for. The truth is, that moment when you feel entirely ready, when everything is in place, and when you've done enough—it's a myth. It's never coming. The right time is now.
Join me as I dive into the language of limitation and how phrases like "I just need to..." can trap us in a cycle of perpetual preparation, holding us back from stepping boldly into the life we're meant to live, without compromise. I also challenge the narrative that familiarity equals safety and explore the power of tapping into the unbridled strength of our younger selves to fuel our courage for change.
Press play and let's explore what it means to live freely and authentically, and how to back it into a plan that propels us forward.
GEMS DROPPED
“This magical right time, the time when you feel ready, when things are in place, when you have done enough, when you have prepared enough, and you know that this is up for you, that this is a challenge for you right now... The whole thing is a trick.”
“When you keep saying stuff like, well, I just have to think about, or I just have to decide, or I've got to give some more thought to ... I need to do some preparation... I just. I just. I just. I just. y'all. This is all danger language. Danger, danger, danger, danger, language. We start backing ourselves into deep limitation because we are fearful of giving ourselves permission to be specific about what it is that we truly want.”
“I recognize that in order for this next part of me, this next phase to come to fruition, for that to happen, I'm gonna have to relinquish the reins. I'm gonna have to let this other part of me, this free and creative and open, this vulnerable part of me, come up to the driver's seat and I might have to get in the back, I might have to get in the trunk at some point. That feels so risky. It feels so, so risky internally.”
“We disconnect from that part of ourselves. We leave those, air quote, ‘childish things’ behind and we get serious about life and we put on new coping skills and different things toughen us up and rough us up, and we forget that that wild and free little version of us, has so much power.”
“I hope that if you are sitting in stagnation and not realizing, I hope that if you are sitting in, ‘I need to wait for the right time’, or ‘I just need to think through. I just need to figure out,’ or ‘I just need to, you know, shore up x, y and z,’ that you bust down those walls and get real with the truth of what's going on here, which is knowing that you don't have to cling to what's familiar and that you're not going to find your freedom. Your salvation will not come from this place. You have everything you need to make the move if you give yourself permission to let that part of you actually dream it up and connect you to the urgency of it all.”
STAY IN TOUCH
Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to [email protected].
Next Episode
34 | Perfectionism & The Settled Place We're Seeking
Text Monique directly! Share thoughts, feels or feedback!
Have you ever felt like you're constantly chasing a moment of peace, where everything on your to-do list is checked off, and you can finally relax? This pursuit of the 'settled place' might be more ingrained in your daily life than you realize.
There's a way to shift from this endless cycle of striving for perfection to embracing an abundant boss mindset. A mindset that allows you to assume possibility, to believe that space and resources you need will be available to you, and to prioritize your own well-being alongside your ambitions.
Join me as we unpack the layers of societal expectation that have taught us to stifle our emotions, to maintain composure at the cost of our authentic selves. I also share personal anecdotes and insights into how modeling emotional honesty can shape our environments, encourage others, and foster a culture of genuine well-being. Tune in to learn more.
GEMS DROPPED
“An abundant boss mindset is a mindset around leadership where you assume possibility. You assume that the space you require is available to you. You assume that your needs shall be met. You assume that if you take up the space it’s gonna be okay. There's a way that we kind of assume that we can have our needs met and that the things get done... at the same damn time.”
“Some of the most important mental resource tools I've honestly ever picked up were between therapy and the fact that I worked for four years at a mental health startup where I learned cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) in and out.”
“One of the greatest lessons that I learned in my coaching training is how emotions move. Emotions are emotions. There are no good emotions, there are no bad emotions... emotions are just energy. They are energy that needs to flow through us. Our body is engaging with the world and energetically reacting to the experiences that we have, the relationships that we keep and when our emotions come up, as adults, we have been trained to work them on down, to make them feasible, to make them workable, or to shut them off, to shut ourselves off, and to go into numb mode just to survive the moment because we're not socially given the space to do much more than that on a da -to -day basis.”
“This craving of arriving at the settled place, this desire to get ahead of this, to get to the point where you feel peace and confident and on top of things. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that, but I think that what we are not recognizing in that process or in that craving is that it's not just so much as a desire to get to a place as it is I think a desire to get away from. Because what's happening is we're just scared to be present to what is so we need to get somewhere else where there aren't the complicated, hard feelings there. Sadness is not there. Rage, anger and frustration are not there. It's just pure satisfaction and rest and peace, which we all deserve. And I want to argue today that we also deserve to have regular space to feel all of the other emotions as well.“
STAY IN TOUCH
Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to [email protected].
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