24 | 7 Gifts Of Coaching For High Powered Women
01/03/24 • 34 min
Text Monique directly! Share thoughts, feels or feedback!
I'm buzzing with excitement after leading an incredible retreat with a group of amazing black woman CEOs. Now, I'm ready to dive into a topic that's been on my mind for a year: coaching. It's a tricky thing to explain because there are a million different types of coaches out there and the term has come to mean a lot of different things.
So, in this episode, I'm breaking down what coaching means to me, shedding light on its benefits, and helping you conceptualize it in your own way. I've jotted down seven key areas that I believe capture the essence of my coaching philosophy.
Join me as I share my thoughts on coaching, drawing from what's reflected back to me from my clients, and highlighting what I excel at as a coach. Let's get into it!
GEMS DROPPED
“The type of person for whom coaching is a little more urgent, is the person who self identifies as the giver and structurally exists this way in their community, network, family, etc. ...there is a mental and emotional labor that comes with playing this role in any group or community. When you're always the provider, it makes it easy for you to also feel really alone. ...To be the person that most people look to for something. The role of coaching for this person is that you can finally be in a space with someone who is entirely committed to your thriving and has no personal attachments or agenda for you outside of you getting exactly what it is that you want.”
“The benefit of not feeling alone is something that is terribly hard to quantify. But I think we all know just how life changing it can feel to go from being in a state of loneliness to a state of “Oh, somebody's in my corner... somebody is dedicated to me... has no separate agenda... is not attached to my decisions, and the bounds of the relationship are formalized and set up so I can trust that I can fall back into that structure and not feel alone in my own head and on my own journey.”
“Coaching helps us get behind ourselves, examine why we're moving the way we move, giving us explicit permission to pause, asking us the right questions to help us get intentional, to examine our pace and to reset it to feel like we are actually self directed and that we are not being led by some false pace that has been set out in the ether by whoever, whatever, out in the world, all these pressures that make us feel like we need to be doing stuff that we maybe don't need to be doing.”
“Coaching provides you the space and the freedom and the safety for that inner little you to still show up, be seen, noticed and taken care of. There is something really, really, invaluable to be in space with someone who can create room for all aspects of you, all dimensions of you, all little ages and grown ages of you to be seen, to be heard and to be held so that we're not always pretending to be the grownup that we want to be... that we want everybody else to see.”
“This is one of the greatest gifts that I know I bring to coaching for sure is that I'm not intimidated by people's accomplishments. I love that about myself. I can be in awe of you, I can be celebratory, I can be inspired and at the same time, just because you do really impressive, superhuman-like things doesn't mean that you are less human yourself. And I think that that can be such a critical experience for someone to have... that space to be human and be regular, that gives you that break from the fandom. To trust that this person is not going to bypass my humanity for the sake of trying to be around for proximity.”
STAY IN TOUCH
Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an
Text Monique directly! Share thoughts, feels or feedback!
I'm buzzing with excitement after leading an incredible retreat with a group of amazing black woman CEOs. Now, I'm ready to dive into a topic that's been on my mind for a year: coaching. It's a tricky thing to explain because there are a million different types of coaches out there and the term has come to mean a lot of different things.
So, in this episode, I'm breaking down what coaching means to me, shedding light on its benefits, and helping you conceptualize it in your own way. I've jotted down seven key areas that I believe capture the essence of my coaching philosophy.
Join me as I share my thoughts on coaching, drawing from what's reflected back to me from my clients, and highlighting what I excel at as a coach. Let's get into it!
GEMS DROPPED
“The type of person for whom coaching is a little more urgent, is the person who self identifies as the giver and structurally exists this way in their community, network, family, etc. ...there is a mental and emotional labor that comes with playing this role in any group or community. When you're always the provider, it makes it easy for you to also feel really alone. ...To be the person that most people look to for something. The role of coaching for this person is that you can finally be in a space with someone who is entirely committed to your thriving and has no personal attachments or agenda for you outside of you getting exactly what it is that you want.”
“The benefit of not feeling alone is something that is terribly hard to quantify. But I think we all know just how life changing it can feel to go from being in a state of loneliness to a state of “Oh, somebody's in my corner... somebody is dedicated to me... has no separate agenda... is not attached to my decisions, and the bounds of the relationship are formalized and set up so I can trust that I can fall back into that structure and not feel alone in my own head and on my own journey.”
“Coaching helps us get behind ourselves, examine why we're moving the way we move, giving us explicit permission to pause, asking us the right questions to help us get intentional, to examine our pace and to reset it to feel like we are actually self directed and that we are not being led by some false pace that has been set out in the ether by whoever, whatever, out in the world, all these pressures that make us feel like we need to be doing stuff that we maybe don't need to be doing.”
“Coaching provides you the space and the freedom and the safety for that inner little you to still show up, be seen, noticed and taken care of. There is something really, really, invaluable to be in space with someone who can create room for all aspects of you, all dimensions of you, all little ages and grown ages of you to be seen, to be heard and to be held so that we're not always pretending to be the grownup that we want to be... that we want everybody else to see.”
“This is one of the greatest gifts that I know I bring to coaching for sure is that I'm not intimidated by people's accomplishments. I love that about myself. I can be in awe of you, I can be celebratory, I can be inspired and at the same time, just because you do really impressive, superhuman-like things doesn't mean that you are less human yourself. And I think that that can be such a critical experience for someone to have... that space to be human and be regular, that gives you that break from the fandom. To trust that this person is not going to bypass my humanity for the sake of trying to be around for proximity.”
STAY IN TOUCH
Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an
Previous Episode
23 | Fighting Against Living Your Own Dream
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Over the past few weeks, I've been actively exploring a concept that's been alive in me, sparked by conversations with others and introspection. I've reached a point where I need to share it publicly and grapple with it out loud. So today we are going to do some wayfinding.
Listen in as I explore the fear of success, and the challenge of creating a life that aligns with our deepest desires. It's a journey of building and receiving, of embracing the vision while navigating the uncertainties and the discomfort of living the dream.
So, buckle up and come along with me as we navigate the intricacies of wanting, building, and trusting the process of experiencing Ambition Without Compromise.
MENTIONED
EP. 15 Learning To Dream First (CEO Series)
GEMS DROPPED
“So many of us want to be more fully connected, invested in and confident in what we want. In some ways, this is the whole point of Ambition Without Compromise, which is getting to want what we want... getting to embrace it and know – in full, vivid color – what it is that we want, and not needing to look like anything else to anyone else. And as I find myself honestly, in this season of having what I want, I am a business owner stepping into the identity of someone who actually owns her time and chooses her work and pitches for what she wants, and creates opportunities for herself –no permission needed from anybody else. And the vision I had set for myself was, we're going to move to the burbs, I want it to be slow, I want more ease, I'm going to work with fewer clients, I'm going to do fewer things, I'm going to continue to make more money and I'm going to feel connected to myself, take care of myself and be able to see the people that I love and care about. I'm living that dream, so why do I keep fighting against it?”
“Step into a realization or an ownership over the fact that you can actually do this. You can command your time. You can exist in spaciousness. You can feel like you're not at the behest of everybody's unspoken needs.”
“When you're an overachiever or a high-achiever when you think about it, it's like my bar is so astronomical, it's like I never should be able to reach anything or close to it. And so when you do it, immediately you're like, ‘well, this bar must be too low or something must be wrong with this, like something is off.’ We can be quick to question these things and to feel discomfort.”
“This is part of what can feel really uncomfortable for us with charting a course towards the life we really, really want is that there is this kind of white space, stuff I can't account for, that feels unreal, kind of unimaginable and we feel uncomfortable with that. There's a big leap that takes place in terms of what we have to learn to value and who we have to be to become comfortable with being in that in-between space. Like who am I if I'm not doing everything? “
“When we think about I want to feel more connected to this place I want to go that scares the shit out of me. Because I'm like, ‘Who am I going to be if I'm there and I'm not doing all the things I'm doing today?’ Right? But you have to be able to see it. Because you have to give yourself a reason to want to set down some of those fears, or to at least open up like okay, maybe I still have these fears, but I'm open to some exploration are all around them. So there's that. We start there.”
STAY IN TOUCH
Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would
Next Episode
25 | Avoiding The Real Work
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Reflection season is here, and I'm delving into the experiences of the past year, contemplating what truly matters. In today's episode, we uncover the layers of self-discovery and transformation, emphasizing the importance of doing the real work we often avoid.
Join me on this deep dive as we concentrate on the four pivotal buckets of meaningful connections and personal growth and why when we nurture them, everything else falls seamlessly into place.
This episode is your invitation to embark on a journey of self-discovery and transformation. Cheers to undertaking the real work in 2024!
GEMS DROPPED
"The real work is more murky, not always gratifying, but important for the experiences we desire in the coming years."
"The real work starts with healing, childhood stuff, therapy – the core that yields new outcomes within yourself."
"Your body has to be set up for success; it informs your thoughts, creativity, and innovation. You've never seen your peak performance until your body is right."
"Investing in community and relationships can skyrocket your dreams with half the effort because you're no longer doing it alone."
"Sometimes it's just the fact that there is someone else holding space for your dream alongside you that makes the difference."
"Time and energy constraints often hinder building friendships and community, but it's about the quality, not the quantity, of time spent together."
"It's not about the superficial tasks and planning; the real work is diving into the emotional and healing aspects, the work we often avoid."
"Most of your relationships are lopsided; you're constantly the giver, fixing others' problems. Meaningful connections require a thoughtful design space."
"Connection and vulnerability can lead to love in a moment with a stranger, but we're not taught to have trust in open-ended spaces with friends."
"Put yourself into spaces designed with intention and care to achieve the depth you crave in relationships."
"It's important to have both - the little Kiki moments and the depth that anchors into something real."
"Connectedness requires thoughtfulness, especially in the pace of life as a business leader."
"Don't avoid the real work in the depth of friendships and community; it's crucial for success and feeling good about your success."
"Spirituality is personal; it's what makes you feel connected, hopeful, and alive. It goes beyond religious beliefs."
"Arriving at success without spiritual investment feels empty; integrate spirituality into the journey for a fulfilling destination."
"Focus on healing, health, friendship, and spirituality; when you nurture these buckets, everything else falls seamlessly into place."
STAY IN TOUCH
Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to [email protected].
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