Allyship is a Verb

Do you know how to actively listen? In this week’s episode, Dr. Leah Tidey (she/her) shares about how her definition of bisexuality has evolved since she first claimed it at the age of 12. Learn how intersections of bisexuality and consensual non-monogamy have created stigma she’s been pushing against. We also discuss Robyn Och’s definition of bisexuality and how Leah’s work as a sexual health educator can be tricky in terms of how much of herself she feel comfortable sharing with her students or overall in certain spaces due to bisexual erasure and biphobia. Have you ever wondered why people may use the term “partner”? Leah talks about how she doesn’t want to deceive people and doesn’t feel she is; she’s intentional about how it’s encompassing as a term and moves way from traditions we may have been taught, while recognizing the privilege in feeling comfortable enough to use it. We also talk about how COVID-19 and the pandemic overall has brought about lots of conversations that the polyamorous community has already been having for a long time related to bubbles and who we are seeing and when.

1. Do you know anyone who practices ethical or consensual non-monogamy?
2. If you know about it, where did you get your information from?
3. Have you heard about it in any of your classes or throughout your education?
4. Do any shows, movies, or other media you consume accurately portray it? Is it made to be a joke?
5. Do you know of any love songs that aren’t strictly for monogamous couples?
6. If you know of anyone who practices it, do you make sure to invite all of their partners to outings or events?
7. If you don’t practice it yourself, have you examined your own beliefs around it and done your own research?

Resources, references, and full transcripts for each episode are available at www.allyshipisaverb.com

Host Chris Angel (they/them) has a background in LGBTQ+ education, community organizing, and social work. Guest episodes feature at least one allyship tip, including tailored questions given their unique intersecting identities.

Please consider following where you listen to podcasts and become a supporter! Keep the conversation going on Instagram @GenderSexualityInfo

This episode is sponsored by Rebecca Minor, LICSW. For more information about her resource, My Kid Just Came Out: Free Guide for Parents, please visit: https://www.genderspecialist.com/nowwhat

Do you support queer businesses? In this week’s episode, Charlie Sprinkman (he/they) talks about growing up in "small-town vibes" Wisconsin and how it's important for people to find the best language for themselves. Learn about what happened when he came out during the Trump administration. We also discuss how important it is to make things better broadly for future generations and nerd out over the power of LGBTQ+ camps like Brave Trails. Charlie talks about their resource, Everywhere is Queer, and how they got the inspiration for it while driving home from Brave Trails. He also talks about voice dysphoria, traveling across 40+ states, and what queer spaces can do for people. Self-reflection:

1. Have I ever been in a queer space? What did that feel like for me?
2. How would it feel for me or people I care about to have access to more queer spaces?
3. Do I know who owns the businesses I support?
4. Are there spaces I feel safer in? How often do I have access to them?
5. Have I ever experienced voice dysphoria?
6. When’s the last time I questioned my identities?

Resources, references, and full transcripts are available at www.allyshipisaverb.com/episodes/charlie-sprinkman

Host Chris Angel (they/them) has a background in LGBTQ+ education, community organizing, and social work. Guest episodes feature at least one allyship tip, including tailored questions given their unique intersecting identities.

Keep the conversation going on Instagram @GenderSexualityInfo

This episode is sponsored by Rebecca Minor, LICSW. For more information about her resource, My Kid Just Came Out: Free Guide for Parents, please visit: https://www.genderspecialist.com/nowwhat

Are you open to other's paths? In this week’s episode, Dominic (he/him) talks about the first time he got hit on by a girl and how that started his sexuality (and later gender) journey. Learn about what shifts occurred in his life as he started to be read as a man in society and some decisions he's made as a result, including going stealth. We also discuss how he told his mom he's a trans man and some of her initial reactions. Dominic talks about how he's felt in LGBTQ+ spaces over the years and how he kind of misses them but it would contradict his decision to be private. He also talks about co-running a support group and some of the stressful moments that have come about as a result.

1. When did I first hear about the LGBTQ+ community? Was it a positive experience?
2. Has anyone ever come out to me? Looking back, did I potentially ask any invasive questions?
3. Have I ever dated anyone who is trans? If not, would I be open to it? Why or why not?
4. If I have a transgender friend and/or loved one in my life, do I make sure people know they are trans when talking about them or introducing them? Why?
5. Have I checked in broadly with my friends to understand their boundaries?
6. Have I ever dated anyone who is trans? If not, would I be open to it? Why or why not?

Resources, references, and full transcripts are available at www.allyshipisaverb.com/episodes/dominic

Host Chris Angel (they/them) has a background in LGBTQ+ education, community organizing, and social work. Guest episodes feature at least one allyship tip, including tailored questions given their unique intersecting identities.

Keep the conversation going on Instagram @GenderSexualityInfo

Content warning for mentions of George Floyd's murder and generally sensitive topics without details.

This episode is sponsored by a private donor. Thank you!!!

Listen to minorities and thank them. In this week’s episode, Ra Ra Rollins (he/him) shares why he claims “queer” and “gay” and the difference in meaning for him between the two terms. He ponders if he’s Black first or gay, queer first, especially since not all spaces see him as a whole person with various, complex identities. Learn about how his work can be triggering as a Black therapist and what it means for him to hold space for clients at some of his same intersections. We also discuss how he pushed back in his grad school program because he learned from white professors who talked about white theorists and had white supervisors while seeing white clients. Despite that, he did gain two incredible mentors and friends for life. Ra Ra reclaims his energy by practicing boundaries, which did not come naturally to him, including by shutting down nearly all of his social media. There's also some discussion around rules and how he liberates himself from rules that don’t work or honor him. Some self-reflection:

1. What’s the first physical thing I notice about people when I first meet them or see them?
2. What’s the first physical thing people tend to notice about me?
3. Do I notice who is not in the room or being represented at work or at times when big decisions are being made?
4. At what age did I first hear an LGBTQ+ slur? Who said it? Which slur was it?
5. Do I have access to a therapist who represents me?
6. What are rules I follow that don’t serve me?

Resources, references, and full transcripts are available at www.allyshipisaverb.com/episode/ra-ra-rollins

Host Chris Angel (they/them) has a background in LGBTQ+ education, community organizing, and social work. Guest episodes feature at least one allyship tip, including tailored questions given their unique intersecting identities.

Keep the conversation going on Instagram @GenderSexualityInfo

Do you talk over marginalized communities? In this week’s episode, Mon Malanovich-Gallagher (they/them) shares about being an LGBTQI+ speaker and facilitator and what some of their experience as an introvert can look like, including introducing the term “anchor.” Learn why they left Poland and the importance of language including identities that reflect our experience. We also discuss employment diversity questions and how data matters while recognizing the privilege of being able to answer as honestly as possible. Have you ever wondered why there’s gatekeeping within the broader LGBTQ+ community and subgroups? Mon talks about how we should be able to claim our own identities and that what we land on feels right to us as individuals without trying to fit any “standards.” We also discuss what it might look like to queer-ify relationships, an example of a supportive pronoun question, and being aware of our impact on and how we show up for marginalized communities. Some self-reflection:

1. Do I attend educational or speaker events for marginalized communities?
2. Have I thought about my identities recently, and if they still fit?
3. What kind of changes might I want to make to my relationships? How might I want to redefine them?
4. Do you think you could be an anchor for someone if they needed that?
5. Have you ever thought about what you might need in a space or at an event to be more comfortable?
6. Do you know when to stand in front of, next to, or behind marginalized communities?

Resources, references, and full transcripts for each episode are available at www.allyshipisaverb.com

Host Chris Angel (they/them) has a background in LGBTQ+ education, community organizing, and social work. Guest episodes feature at least one allyship tip, including tailored questions given their unique intersecting identities.

Please consider following where you listen to podcasts! Keep the conversation going on Instagram @GenderSexualityInfo