Conscious Parenting - How do we show up for ourselves and our family?

11/17/20 • 67 min

During this episode of A Richer Life, host Rich Weingart speaks with Dr. Alana Lopez, Licensed Psychologist and Parent Coach with a Bachelor of Arts in Psychology and a PhD in Pediatric Psychology. Dr. Alana Lopez talks about her inspirations for embracing conscious parenting, how it has influenced her professional work and her own parenting strategies, and how she goes about working with families.

Episode Highlights:

Rich Weingart introduces Dr. Alana Lopez.
Dr. Alana Lopez opens up about her early journey learning what it means to be a conscious parent.
We have to do the inner work first for conscious parenting.
What was the area of her life that she felt stuck in originally regarding parenting?
What is the ‘dial’ for Dr. Alana Lopez that makes her days graceful?
In the midst of all of our ‘doing,’ we have to incorporate ‘being’ to recharge.
The importance of parenting with power and grace.
What is the conscious parenting approach that Dr. Alana Lopez uses when she is working with families?
We can get too caught up in labels for our kids and ourselves.
Honor where you are at in the moment without judgement.
90% of the time we are just going through life based on old habits.
Don’t be afraid to show your kid that you are not perfect.
What does she mean by ‘space creator?’
Parents should be the ultimate safety signal.
What does Dr. Alana Lopez mean by being an ‘energy shifter,’ ‘emotion detective,’ ‘connection maker,’ and ‘accountability partner’?
What advice does Dr. Alana Lopez have for parents that feel like they are failing?

3 Key Points:

The book that helped to transform Dr. Alana Lopez is The Conscious Parent: Transforming Ourselves, Empowering Our Children by Dr. Shefali Tsabary.
Honor your child that stands before you and make sure their voice is being heard and understood.
We can sit with our feelings and acknowledge them and open up the door to new possibilities.

Tweetable Quotes:

“I really decided at that point, like, I have a son coming into the world and I want to be all-in. In order for me to be all-in, I have to take care of myself. I have to be in touch with myself and really get back to the roots of what's important.” – Dr. Alana Lopez
“We are all humans in this together. We all have a story to tell that is so worthy and deserving of being heard.” – Dr. Alana Lopez
“Our children are our teachers and they are here for a reason. It is so powerful just to see your child through that fresh lens." – Dr. Alana Lopez
“I think for me, the biggest ‘aha’ in that area was what was my relationship with my emotions were, and to really look at that relationship. That relationship is very heavily influenced by how we were raised.” – Dr. Alana Lopez
“It is finding refuge in the simple things, like just taking a nap or just sitting with your child on the couch, with no TV.” – Dr. Alana Lopez
“Great parenting is not about doing things quote-unquote ‘right’ or not yelling. It is about getting curious about what triggers us, knowing why we fall back into old patterns without self-judgement, making a conscious effort to try something different.” – Dr. Alana Lopez

Resources Mentioned:

Episode Highlights:

Rich Weingart introduces Dr. Alana Lopez.
Dr. Alana Lopez opens up about her early journey learning what it means to be a conscious parent.
We have to do the inner work first for conscious parenting.
What was the area of her life that she felt stuck in originally regarding parenting?
What is the ‘dial’ for Dr. Alana Lopez that makes her days graceful?
In the midst of all of our ‘doing,’ we have to incorporate ‘being’ to recharge.
The importance of parenting with power and grace.
What is the conscious parenting approach that Dr. Alana Lopez uses when she is working with families?
We can get too caught up in labels for our kids and ourselves.
Honor where you are at in the moment without judgement.
90% of the time we are just going through life based on old habits.
Don’t be afraid to show your kid that you are not perfect.
What does she mean by ‘space creator?’
Parents should be the ultimate safety signal.
What does Dr. Alana Lopez mean by being an ‘energy shifter,’ ‘emotion detective,’ ‘connection maker,’ and ‘accountability partner’?
What advice does Dr. Alana Lopez have for parents that feel like they are failing?

3 Key Points:

The book that helped to transform Dr. Alana Lopez is The Conscious Parent: Transforming Ourselves, Empowering Our Children by Dr. Shefali Tsabary.
Honor your child that stands before you and make sure their voice is being heard and understood.
We can sit with our feelings and acknowledge them and open up the door to new possibilities.

Tweetable Quotes:

“I really decided at that point, like, I have a son coming into the world and I want to be all-in. In order for me to be all-in, I have to take care of myself. I have to be in touch with myself and really get back to the roots of what's important.” – Dr. Alana Lopez
“We are all humans in this together. We all have a story to tell that is so worthy and deserving of being heard.” – Dr. Alana Lopez
“Our children are our teachers and they are here for a reason. It is so powerful just to see your child through that fresh lens." – Dr. Alana Lopez
“I think for me, the biggest ‘aha’ in that area was what was my relationship with my emotions were, and to really look at that relationship. That relationship is very heavily influenced by how we were raised.” – Dr. Alana Lopez
“It is finding refuge in the simple things, like just taking a nap or just sitting with your child on the couch, with no TV.” – Dr. Alana Lopez
“Great parenting is not about doing things quote-unquote ‘right’ or not yelling. It is about getting curious about what triggers us, knowing why we fall back into old patterns without self-judgement, making a conscious effort to try something different.” – Dr. Alana Lopez

Resources Mentioned:

Previous Episode

Rich's Real: One Year, Lessons Learned

One year anniversary of A Richer Life podcast. Rich looks back on his podcasting journey with gratitude and some of the lessons he has learned.

In this episode, Rich outlines his top 10 lessons and some of the things he works through and we all work through as we create new pathways in our nervous systems, safety for ourselves and others and build a tribe to lean in to and co-regulate with on our journey towards A Richer Life.

We are meant to shine and hiding our light does nobody any good...a difficult truth to claim for ourselves, but a truth it is. We were meant to shine even through the darkness that is sometimes a part of life.

Next Episode

Celebrating A Richer Life with Ellie Guardino

During this episode of A Richer Life, host Rich Weingart speaks with Ellie Guardino, Vice President Global Head of Hematology Oncology for Personalized Healthcare at Genentech, adjunct clinical professor for medical oncology at Stanford University and loving Mom, Wife and Friend. Ellie was recently nominated and elected by Fierce Farma as one of 2020’s Fiercest Women in Life Sciences.

Ellie Guardino has been fighting her own battle with cancer since 2008 and speaks about how she is facing it head on, focusing on her work, and what it takes to live life to the fullest in spite of aggressive cancer. This episode is dedicated to celebrating Ellie Guardino’s incredible medical career achievements and her momentum to keep moving forward, inspiring others in the process.

Episode Highlights:

Rich Weingart introduces Ellie Guardino.
Who were Ellie’s role models growing up and what drove her forward?
Ellie takes us through her inspiration and her life’s work.
How important is it to hold space for your patients for them to feel safe?
Challenges of being a patient.
When did she transition to Genentech?
What causes cancer to come back?
In 2012, Ellie had another melanoma that developed on her chest wall.
What is Ellie’s status today?
How impactful has her family been in her life?
Our faith can move mountains.
What advice would she share with her children and to her younger self?
The peaceful life of Martin Luther King helps Ellie Guardino tremendously.
What would Ellie Guardino like to share with the audience?

3 Key Points:

To have faith is to defy logic and it is an act of courage. It takes faith to think positively and to know that there is a deeply loving God that cares about our pain.
No one is without fear. But it is crucial to get to a point where you can live each day without being burdened by it and can live each moment to the fullest.
Ellie Guardino’s motto is “Faith over fear.”

Tweetable Quotes:

“I may not be as much of an advocate for myself. But I was so grateful for all of the care and support that I got. I just try to remind myself that I am a patient now. I have to view this as a patient and let them help me.” – Ellie Guardino
“I was very open and I knew that would serve me well because that is what I have always told my patients. You need to embrace your community because that is what will get you through.” – Ellie Guardino
“When I was diagnosed with my melanoma, I had a chance to evaluate whether I was doing everything I wanted to be doing and the answer was yes. I wouldn’t have done anything differently. ” – Ellie Guardino
“I probably spend an hour and a half or two hours with each patient on that first visit and look at, what are their economic needs? Are they going to need extra support? We have all kinds of breast cancer grants. ” – Ellie Guardino
“I was able to keep my practice and also do research at Genentech that would impact far more patients in the long run than my one-on-one patient-to-patient care. ” – Ellie Guardino
“If I worry about tomorrow, I lose today, and I don’t want that to happen, that I lose opportunities, and happiness that I could be having, and fun that I could be having when you don’t know what is going to happen tomorrow. Don’t focus on that.” – Ellie Guardino

Resources Mentioned: