A Richer Life

The return of Markus completes this 3 part series on addiction, recovery and sobriety. At the core of it all is ‘tough’ love. In this episode, Markus and Rich ping pong back and forth exploring what it was like for Markus, the role his friends played and the dynamics in the room and with the family. The power of an intervention, the fear that surrounds it from all sides, the availability for anyone to express ‘true’ love and reach out to help and for help. Hiding from whatever deep truth we have is ultimately more painful and destructive than confronting that truth. Markus again courageously opens up in another act of outreach and service, a pattern and one of his many gifts he shares with the world.

https://www.drugabuse.gov/

https://www.niaaa.nih.gov/alcohol-health/support-treatment/

During this episode of A Richer Life, host Rich Weingart speaks with Dr. Alana Lopez, Licensed Psychologist and Parent Coach with a Bachelor of Arts in Psychology and a PhD in Pediatric Psychology. Dr. Alana Lopez talks about her inspirations for embracing conscious parenting, how it has influenced her professional work and her own parenting strategies, and how she goes about working with families.

Episode Highlights:

• Rich Weingart introduces Dr. Alana Lopez.
• Dr. Alana Lopez opens up about her early journey learning what it means to be a conscious parent.
• We have to do the inner work first for conscious parenting.
• What was the area of her life that she felt stuck in originally regarding parenting?
• What is the ‘dial’ for Dr. Alana Lopez that makes her days graceful?
• In the midst of all of our ‘doing,’ we have to incorporate ‘being’ to recharge.
• The importance of parenting with power and grace.
• What is the conscious parenting approach that Dr. Alana Lopez uses when she is working with families?
• We can get too caught up in labels for our kids and ourselves.
• Honor where you are at in the moment without judgement.
• 90% of the time we are just going through life based on old habits.
• Don’t be afraid to show your kid that you are not perfect.
• What does she mean by ‘space creator?’
• Parents should be the ultimate safety signal.
• What does Dr. Alana Lopez mean by being an ‘energy shifter,’ ‘emotion detective,’ ‘connection maker,’ and ‘accountability partner’?
• What advice does Dr. Alana Lopez have for parents that feel like they are failing?

3 Key Points:

1. The book that helped to transform Dr. Alana Lopez is The Conscious Parent: Transforming Ourselves, Empowering Our Children by Dr. Shefali Tsabary.
2. Honor your child that stands before you and make sure their voice is being heard and understood.
3. We can sit with our feelings and acknowledge them and open up the door to new possibilities.

Tweetable Quotes:

• “I really decided at that point, like, I have a son coming into the world and I want to be all-in. In order for me to be all-in, I have to take care of myself. I have to be in touch with myself and really get back to the roots of what's important.” – Dr. Alana Lopez
• “We are all humans in this together. We all have a story to tell that is so worthy and deserving of being heard.” – Dr. Alana Lopez
• “Our children are our teachers and they are here for a reason. It is so powerful just to see your child through that fresh lens." – Dr. Alana Lopez
• “I think for me, the biggest ‘aha’ in that area was what was my relationship with my emotions were, and to really look at that relationship. That relationship is very heavily influenced by how we were raised.” – Dr. Alana Lopez
• “It is finding refuge in the simple things, like just taking a nap or just sitting with your child on the couch, with no TV.” – Dr. Alana Lopez
• “Great parenting is not about doing things quote-unquote ‘right’ or not yelling. It is about getting curious about what triggers us, knowing why we fall back into old patterns without self-judgement, making a conscious effort to try something different.” – Dr. Alana Lopez

Resources Mentioned:

• Alanalopezphd.com
• Linkedin for Dr. Alana Lopez

Rich gets uncomfortable with one of his challenges, his competitiveness. What has been his blessing has also been a curse that he has had to work on and work through.

During this episode of A Richer Life, host Rich Weingart speaks with Kristina Wandzilak, Founder and President of Full Circle Addiction and Recovery Services, and her mother Constance Curry. They dive deep into the truth, the pain and the love story of their family dealing with addiction, and how the healing process is not just for the addicted individual, but also for those that love them.

Episode Highlights:

• Rich Weingart introduces Kristina Wandzilak and her mother Constance Curry.
• Kristina Wandzilak talks about how addiction impacts not just the individual addicted, but the people that they mean the most to.
• Constance talks about addiction in their family starting with her husband’s alcoholism.
• What is their advice to someone with an addict in their family?
• Getting help is a journey.
• Rich reads a passage from their book The Lost Years.
• How did Constance’s healing process go?
• Kristina and Constance talk about their love and respect for each other.
• How did Constance continue to get stronger despite her daughter being on the streets?
• How did Kristina process her mother’s recovery and changes?
• What happened when Kristina tried to come back home during her treatment phase?
• How did Kristina find her path to recovery?
• Kristina was a lot more relatable and able to communicate in a more positive way when she recovered.
• How did they find forgiveness for Constance’s ex-husband, who is Kristina’s Dad?
• Everybody has the power to find themselves and build their strength and courage.
• Truth empowers us and others as well.

3 Key Points:

1. One out of seven people in the world are affected by addiction in one way or another.
2. When dealing with having a loved one suffering with addiction, reach out to others and know that you are not alone.
3. Letting go is important for dealing with most problems.

Tweetable Quotes:

• “Addicts don’t change their behavior until it makes sense to them to change. Why wouldn’t it? When we can live at home or have our rents paid or food in the cupboards and children take care of?” – Kristina Wandzilak
• “It is imperative for families to let go and it is so much a part of my work to support families and teach families about how to let go.” – Kristina Wandzilak
• “Addiction happens to family systems, not just individuals. You can have one person addicted and five or six people profoundly, deeply, hopelessly affected by this disease that slowly takes over homes." – Kristina Wandzilak
• “Kristina said, I was brave when I closed the door on her. I wasn't brave. I had just tried everything I knew. I didn’t know anything else to do.” – Constance Curry
• “There were times that I was so angry, I didn’t know what to do. Now what. And I expressed that anger sometimes. But, this was not an angry exchange. This was an accept, a surrender exchange.” – Constance Curry
• “The great change in Kristina was her humility. She didn’t expect anything and she didn’t ask for anything. During the first few weeks we all were a little on edge, not really knowing what to expect.” – Kristina Wandzilak

Resources Mentioned:

• fullcirclerecoverycenter.net
• Kristina Wandzilak: The Lost Years : Surviving a Mother and Daughter's Worst Nightmare by Kristina Wandzilak and Constance Curry
• Instagram for Kristina Wandzilak

During this episode of A Richer Life, host Rich Weingart speaks with Mike Robbins, author of 5 books including Bring Your Whole Self to Work and We’re All in This Together, to discuss vulnerability and teamwork. Mike talks about his past, his struggles and how it shaped who and where he is now, the value of togetherness in uncertain times and his new book launching on 4/14: We’re All In this Together https://mike-robbins.com/together/ Creating a Team Culture of High Performance, Trust and Belonging.

Episode Highlights:

• Mike, a left handed pitcher, was drafted by the New York Yankees out of high school, but instead went to Stanford.
• After finishing college, he was drafted by the Kansas City Royals, where he played for 3 years until a career ending ‘tommy john’ injury.
• Mike is now a motivational speaker and an expert in emotional intelligence.
• In the current times, with Covid-19, it is important to be genuine and authentic, and to try and see how this disconnectedness can actually bring us closer together.
• Growing up, Mike’s parents split up when he was young and his dad had a mental illness. Going through that experience taught Mike a lot about authenticity and trust.
• From an early age, Mike considered himself a “seeker” of knowledge on how to be a better human being.
• In Mike’s books, he talks about how your family is your first team.
• When he started at Stanford, Mike had to come to terms with not being the smartest student or best player on the team, and, while he enjoyed his time there, it was difficult.
• Mike’s baseball career ended soon after he sustained an injury, and he officially retired when he was 25.
• When he couldn’t play baseball anymore, Mike felt very lost and did not know what he was going to do with life and struggled with depression.
• We can’t connect the dots in our lives looking forward, we can only do that looking backward.
• Despite his dad’s struggles, when Mike was struggling with depression his dad was there for him and was very supportive. His dad unfortunately passed away unexpectedly when Mike was 27.
• Think of your Ego as a human construct, or a mental construct. It is meant to keep us from harm but often gets in our way.
• Google did a 3 year study and found that psychological safety was the most important factor for teams to create high performance.
• Having open and honest conversations is a great way to build psychological safety.
• Mike grew up in a predominantly black area, and as a white person this meant he grew up as a relative minority.
• Belonging is a fundamental human need; everyone needs to feel like they belong.
• The importance of having “the sweaty palm conversation” and “caring about and challenging each other.”
• What is Mike doing for himself today to live A Richer Life?

3 Key Points:

1. Authenticity and vulnerability are increasingly important values, especially in the face of our current world issues.
2. Psychological safety is the most important element for teams to create high performance.
3. Belonging is a human need, and is it so important to create an environment where people feel like they belong.

Tweetable Quotes:

• “From a very early age I became what I now call a seeker. I was really seeking, not of knowledge, per se, but wisdom and insight into how to be a human being.” -Mike Robbins
• “I know that we are way stronger and more resilient than we think we are. We have literally gotten through 100% of everything that’s been thrown at us in life up to this point.” -Mike Robbins
• “With any privilege we may have, utilize that privilege in a way that might potentially be beneficial to those who may have less privilege.” -Mike Robbins
• “Belonging is a fundamental human need.” -Mike Robbins
• “It’s in everyone’s best interest to create a diverse environment, to create an inclusive environment, to create an environment where people feel like they belong.” -Mike Robbins

Resources Mentioned:

• Mike Robbins’ Website | Linkedin | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram
• We're All in This Together (book)
• We’re All in This Together (Launch Page)