Addiction - A Family Disease: The Love of a Mother and Daughter

04/29/20 • 65 min

During this episode of A Richer Life, host Rich Weingart speaks with Kristina Wandzilak, Founder and President of Full Circle Addiction and Recovery Services, and her mother Constance Curry. They dive deep into the truth, the pain and the love story of their family dealing with addiction, and how the healing process is not just for the addicted individual, but also for those that love them.

Episode Highlights:

Rich Weingart introduces Kristina Wandzilak and her mother Constance Curry.
Kristina Wandzilak talks about how addiction impacts not just the individual addicted, but the people that they mean the most to.
Constance talks about addiction in their family starting with her husband’s alcoholism.
What is their advice to someone with an addict in their family?
Getting help is a journey.
Rich reads a passage from their book The Lost Years.
How did Constance’s healing process go?
Kristina and Constance talk about their love and respect for each other.
How did Constance continue to get stronger despite her daughter being on the streets?
How did Kristina process her mother’s recovery and changes?
What happened when Kristina tried to come back home during her treatment phase?
How did Kristina find her path to recovery?
Kristina was a lot more relatable and able to communicate in a more positive way when she recovered.
How did they find forgiveness for Constance’s ex-husband, who is Kristina’s Dad?
Everybody has the power to find themselves and build their strength and courage.
Truth empowers us and others as well.

3 Key Points:

One out of seven people in the world are affected by addiction in one way or another.
When dealing with having a loved one suffering with addiction, reach out to others and know that you are not alone.
Letting go is important for dealing with most problems.

Tweetable Quotes:

“Addicts don’t change their behavior until it makes sense to them to change. Why wouldn’t it? When we can live at home or have our rents paid or food in the cupboards and children take care of?” – Kristina Wandzilak
“It is imperative for families to let go and it is so much a part of my work to support families and teach families about how to let go.” – Kristina Wandzilak
“Addiction happens to family systems, not just individuals. You can have one person addicted and five or six people profoundly, deeply, hopelessly affected by this disease that slowly takes over homes." – Kristina Wandzilak
“Kristina said, I was brave when I closed the door on her. I wasn't brave. I had just tried everything I knew. I didn’t know anything else to do.” – Constance Curry
“There were times that I was so angry, I didn’t know what to do. Now what. And I expressed that anger sometimes. But, this was not an angry exchange. This was an accept, a surrender exchange.” – Constance Curry
“The great change in Kristina was her humility. She didn’t expect anything and she didn’t ask for anything. During the first few weeks we all were a little on edge, not really knowing what to expect.” – Kristina Wandzilak

Resources Mentioned:

Episode Highlights:

Rich Weingart introduces Kristina Wandzilak and her mother Constance Curry.
Kristina Wandzilak talks about how addiction impacts not just the individual addicted, but the people that they mean the most to.
Constance talks about addiction in their family starting with her husband’s alcoholism.
What is their advice to someone with an addict in their family?
Getting help is a journey.
Rich reads a passage from their book The Lost Years.
How did Constance’s healing process go?
Kristina and Constance talk about their love and respect for each other.
How did Constance continue to get stronger despite her daughter being on the streets?
How did Kristina process her mother’s recovery and changes?
What happened when Kristina tried to come back home during her treatment phase?
How did Kristina find her path to recovery?
Kristina was a lot more relatable and able to communicate in a more positive way when she recovered.
How did they find forgiveness for Constance’s ex-husband, who is Kristina’s Dad?
Everybody has the power to find themselves and build their strength and courage.
Truth empowers us and others as well.

3 Key Points:

One out of seven people in the world are affected by addiction in one way or another.
When dealing with having a loved one suffering with addiction, reach out to others and know that you are not alone.
Letting go is important for dealing with most problems.

Tweetable Quotes:

“Addicts don’t change their behavior until it makes sense to them to change. Why wouldn’t it? When we can live at home or have our rents paid or food in the cupboards and children take care of?” – Kristina Wandzilak
“It is imperative for families to let go and it is so much a part of my work to support families and teach families about how to let go.” – Kristina Wandzilak
“Addiction happens to family systems, not just individuals. You can have one person addicted and five or six people profoundly, deeply, hopelessly affected by this disease that slowly takes over homes." – Kristina Wandzilak
“Kristina said, I was brave when I closed the door on her. I wasn't brave. I had just tried everything I knew. I didn’t know anything else to do.” – Constance Curry
“There were times that I was so angry, I didn’t know what to do. Now what. And I expressed that anger sometimes. But, this was not an angry exchange. This was an accept, a surrender exchange.” – Constance Curry
“The great change in Kristina was her humility. She didn’t expect anything and she didn’t ask for anything. During the first few weeks we all were a little on edge, not really knowing what to expect.” – Kristina Wandzilak

Resources Mentioned:

Previous Episode

Rich's Real 13: True Nobility

We can't take back the past, but we can face the truth, learn, look deeper into our patterns and why they make sense and build new pathways and greater resilience to ultimately take agency over our lives and how we show up. When we fall, which we will often, we get back up and all the while, try to take it easy on ourselves and in turn, others as well. It's an inside out game - not easy, but more simple than we tend to make it.

Referenced:

New book by last week's guest, Mike Robbins:

We’re All in This Together : Creating a Team Culture of High Performance, Trust and Belonging.

Upcoming guest, Kristina Wandzilak and her Mom, Constance Curry - co-authors of The Lost Years: Surviving a Mother and Daughters Worst Nightmare

Next Episode

Rich's Real 14: The Next Best Step?

Identifying your tribe in life, growing, expanding and allowing ourselves to be supported. None of these things are easy, but they are simple. What will our new normal be? What is this for you and what is something you want to release from your old patterns that are no longer working and something you want to attract more of into your life? We do human better, together.

In Awe - book referenced by John O'Leary