UncommonTEEN: The Podcast for Christian Teen Girls

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I used to be the queen of comparison. Every single time I would walk into a room, the first thing I would do is search out who was in the room.
I was not from a family who had a lot of money. We got new clothes once a year and that was right before school started, and they weren’t from the mall. They were the cheapest clothes that we could buy. So, as you can probably tell, they weren’t the nicest clothes, or the newest trends and I hated it.
I remember one time, while in middle school, staying the night at my grandma’s house on a school night. I didn’t go home before coming to her house, so I didn’t have any clothes to wear to school the next day...and there was no way that I was going to where the same clothes two days in a row, even if I did wash them. My grandma had some extra clothes laying around her house, but the only thing that would fit me was a skirt. This skirt was long and had pink flowers. At that time, long skirts were not fashionable; skirts that were down to your knees were. I had a black shirt that I wore the day before, so I went ahead and wore that again with this skirt. Only, I wasn’t going to go out of the house looking like what I had thought at the time of as an old lady. Ha-ha...so, what I did was I rolled up the waste of this skirt until it was knee length. Do you know how much of a bulge I had at my waste from the extra fabric?
Oh, my goodness! I was so embarrassed. I know, I know. Please forgive me, I was in middle school at the time...what did I know? I had a problem with always comparing myself to others, but this day, I really had a problem comparing myself to everyone around me. As a result of constantly comparing myself to everyone around me, I fell into what I like to call the comparison trap, and because I got stuck in this comparison trap, eventually I compromised who I was so much that I completely lost who I was as a person.

Have you have done that? Have you ever walked into a room, saw another girl or group of girls and began to compare yourself with them? I’m not talking about from a “Who does she think she is” mentality or an , “I’m better than you” mentality, but from an “I wish I was ____ like her?”

I wish I was thin like her. I wish I was beautiful like her. I wish I was as trendy as her. I wish my hair was as beautiful as hers. I wish my face was as clear as hers. I wish I had friends like her.”

If this answer is yes, you’re not alone!

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The UncommonTEEN App is available on the Apple Store! It looks like Google is going to take a bit longer.

Have a question you want me to answer on the podcast? Ask Here!

Ladies, this week we are getting inside the mind of a teenage guy.
Zach Lloyd is a fitness and anti-diet coach. As a teen guy, Zach was bullied quite a bit until he began to workout and get fit. He understood what it was like to be on both sides of the spectrum as a teen guy...someone who didn't fit in at all to someone who got a lot of attention.
He talks to us about how teen guys try to gain the attention of teen girls.
How the majority of teen guys are really insecure, even if they are fit and in shape. He also talks about how they deal with a lot of the same insecurities that we deal with and what we can do to overcome those insecurities.
This is a two part episode, so be on the lookout, because next week we dig more into emotional eating (or not eating), why we do it and how we can over come.
Check out Zach's website here: http://www.zachlloydcoaching.com/

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The UncommonTEEN App is available on the Apple Store! It looks like Google is going to take a bit longer.

Have a question you want me to answer on the podcast? Ask Here!

How many of you would agree that we can be our own biggest obstacle? Like, we want to do something, but yet we let fear stop us. Or, we have these great desires, yet we lack the motivation to do what we need to do in order to get them done. Or someone compliments us on something, yet we immediately start thinking of all the ways that we aren’t good enough.

Joshua felt the same way when God was calling him to do big things. He felt weak. He was scared. He probably had the thought, “Who am I to do something like this? God, I know you know everything, but me? Like, don’t you know who I am?” When God was telling Joshua to step out and do what he had called him to do, but all Joshua wanted to do was run and hide.

Joshua 1:1-2 says, “After the death of Moses the Lord’s servant, the Lord spoke to Joshua son of Nun, Moses’ assistant. He said, 2 “Moses my servant is dead. Therefore, the time has come for you to lead these people, the Israelites, across the Jordan River into the land I am giving them. I promise you what I promised Moses: ‘Wherever you set foot, you will be on land I have given you—”

So, Moses had just died. The Israelites are getting ready to step into the promised land. They have some big challenges they are getting ready to face and now they need a new leader...and that new leader is Joshua.

Oh, and did I mention how many Israelites that Joshua was supposed to lead? It wasn’t 50. It wasn’t 100 or even 1,000. We’re talking Joshua is being called in to lead 2-3 million people!

As you can imagine, Joshua is facing some pretty big insecurities right about now. He is having to come to grips with the reality that he was no longer going to be a follower, but God was calling him out to be a leader.

But God isn’t just going to leave Joshua to figure this out on his own. I love what he tells Joshua next.

Joshua 1:5-9 says, “No one will be able to stand against you as long as you live. For I will be with you as I was with Moses. I will not fail you or abandon you.

6 “Be strong and courageous, for you are the one who will lead these people to possess all the land I swore to their ancestors I would give them. 7 Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the instructions Moses gave you. Do not deviate from them, turning either to the right or to the left. Then you will be successful in everything you do. 8 Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do. 9 This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

In the midst of Joshua feeling weak, scared, and insecure, God is encouraging him and reminding him that he’s not alone. He needs to face his fears, step out of his comfort zone and be strong.
God is calling you out. He no longer wants you to be a follower. He wants you to step out and be the leader He created you to be!

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The UncommonTEEN App is available on the Apple Store! It looks like Google is going to take a bit longer.

Have a question you want me to answer on the podcast? Ask Here!

Have you ever heard of the quote, “You are your own worst critic?” There so much truth to that statement! So many times, we tend to pick out all of the things we don’t like about ourselves: our hair, our skin, our nose, our weight, our personality...even our laugh.
I want you to take a little test. If you have a pen and paper, go ahead and grab that. If not, you can do this in your head.
The first thing I want you to do is, in the next 15 seconds, make a list of as many things as you can that you don’t like about yourself...and go!
How many things did you come up with? Go ahead and count them and put the number on your paper. Maybe you think your nose is too big...or too small. Maybe you wish you could be taller...or short. Maybe you wish that you weren’t so shy and quiet...or maybe too loud. It seems like there’s always something we want to change, right?
I think one of the biggest reasons that it’s so easy for us to list all of the things about our bodies we don’t like is because our appearance means a lot to us. In episode 22, we talked about cliques and how a lot of times we will either be accepted or rejected based on our we look and how we dress. We struggle with wanting to be ourselves, who God created us to be, while at the same time wanting to be accepted by others.
This is something that I see so often among teen girls. We all want to be noticed and feel accepted and many times we will begin to act differently and dress differently...maybe more immodestly...to get those around us to notice us. Honestly, what it all comes down to, though, sometimes we struggle with knowing how valuable we are to God.
All right, so now, I want you to make another list. In the next 15 seconds, list as many things as you can that you love about yourself that you would never want to change....and...go!
Was it as easy to come up with that second list as it was the first one? Not for most of us. Count how many things were on your second list and compare it to your first list.
Why is it that it’s so easy to come up with that first list, but maybe not so easy to come up with that second one? I honestly think it has a lot to do with our body image and the pressure to be perfect...so that’s exactly what we’re going to talk about today.
Let’s start off by answering the question, “What is body image?” Body image is how you see, think, feel and act toward any part of your body.
And social media doesn’t help us with gaining a positive body image! Actually, social media is the #1 influencer on body image in teen girls. I shared in one of our previous podcasts that the average time a teen spends on social media since the shutdown is 9 hours a day! Think about all the time that is being spent on comparing ourselves to others. Now, if this is you...don’t feel condemned.
I want to help you walk this journey and really begin to love who it is that God created you to be. So please don’t hear that I’m putting you down. I want to help you more than anything!
In addition, so much time on social media pressures us to feel like we need to be perfect or we won’t measure up. What we may know, but not always think about it that the majority of the photos are fake, they have been filtered, airbrushed or photoshopped. So, many times what we’re co

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The UncommonTEEN App is available on the Apple Store! It looks like Google is going to take a bit longer.

Have a question you want me to answer on the podcast? Ask Here!

Leah says, “There's a girl in my grade, we'll call her Jane. Jane is the "queen bee" of our grade. She has the nicest clothes (her parents are very rich) and she is VERY popular because she's dating a popular boy as well. She's also a bully. She'll bully kids who are very shy, and a girl has left the school because of her.

Also, recently our grade voted for prefects (class leaders), and I was made a perfect. Jane was not. She was very disappointed, but now she keeps interfering with everything we are doing. We're organizing an event this coming week, and she's always involved, as well as ordering me around. I don't have a strong personality, is there any way that I can stand up to her that stays true to the scriptures?”

To answer this question or really any other question that has to do with bullying, let’s first answer the question what is bullying and what is not bullying.

Bullying is an act that causes harm to someone else that is intentional and repetitive. This can be physical, which includes hitting someone, pushing them, or even damaging their property. Bullying can be verbal, such as name calling, or insulting or teasing someone in a way that’s meant to hurt them. It can also be social, such as trying to manipulate someone, spread rumors about them, or excluding them on purpose. And bullying can be cyber, which is using online platforms to threaten or humiliate others. Bullying again is not a one-time act, it’s repetitive. It is not an argument between two people. It’s not a friend or someone else who is having a bad day, and they say or do something mean. Bullies tend to go after people who they perceive are weaker than they are. They feel like it gives them power.

CONNECT WITH COACH JAMIE

• LIFE COACHING for Christian Teen Girls
• PODCAST RESOURCES
• ABOUT
• MERCH

The UncommonTEEN App is available on the Apple Store! It looks like Google is going to take a bit longer.