117. AMA: How do we stop comparing ourselves to “pretty girls “or “popular girls?”

04/15/24 • 21 min

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UncommonTEEN: The Podcast for Christian Teen Girls

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I used to be the queen of comparison. Every single time I would walk into a room, the first thing I would do is search out who was in the room.
I was not from a family who had a lot of money. We got new clothes once a year and that was right before school started, and they weren’t from the mall. They were the cheapest clothes that we could buy. So, as you can probably tell, they weren’t the nicest clothes, or the newest trends and I hated it.
I remember one time, while in middle school, staying the night at my grandma’s house on a school night. I didn’t go home before coming to her house, so I didn’t have any clothes to wear to school the next day...and there was no way that I was going to where the same clothes two days in a row, even if I did wash them. My grandma had some extra clothes laying around her house, but the only thing that would fit me was a skirt. This skirt was long and had pink flowers. At that time, long skirts were not fashionable; skirts that were down to your knees were. I had a black shirt that I wore the day before, so I went ahead and wore that again with this skirt. Only, I wasn’t going to go out of the house looking like what I had thought at the time of as an old lady. Ha-ha...so, what I did was I rolled up the waste of this skirt until it was knee length. Do you know how much of a bulge I had at my waste from the extra fabric?
Oh, my goodness! I was so embarrassed. I know, I know. Please forgive me, I was in middle school at the time...what did I know? I had a problem with always comparing myself to others, but this day, I really had a problem comparing myself to everyone around me. As a result of constantly comparing myself to everyone around me, I fell into what I like to call the comparison trap, and because I got stuck in this comparison trap, eventually I compromised who I was so much that I completely lost who I was as a person.

Have you have done that? Have you ever walked into a room, saw another girl or group of girls and began to compare yourself with them? I’m not talking about from a “Who does she think she is” mentality or an , “I’m better than you” mentality, but from an “I wish I was ____ like her?”

I wish I was thin like her. I wish I was beautiful like her. I wish I was as trendy as her. I wish my hair was as beautiful as hers. I wish my face was as clear as hers. I wish I had friends like her.”

If this answer is yes, you’re not alone!

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If this answer is yes, you’re not alone!

CONNECT WITH COACH JAMIE

The UncommonTEEN App is available on the Apple Store! It looks like Google is going to take a bit longer.

Previous Episode

116. AMA: I Like A Christian Guy, but He Doesn't Like Me. What Should I do?

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This week's episode, we answer another AMA question with our special guest, Pastor Chris Dubois.
This week, we are answering, "I like this Christian guy, but he doesn't like me back. What should I do?"
We also dig deeper into what a healthy Christian Relationship actually looks like!
The enemy wants nothing more than for you to lose in life, but with God on your side, he doesn't get to win!
Chris Dubois Website
Chris Dubois Book

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The UncommonTEEN App is available on the Apple Store! It looks like Google is going to take a bit longer.

Next Episode

118: AMA-Is There A Way to Stand Up to Bullies that Stays True to the Bible?

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Leah says, “There's a girl in my grade, we'll call her Jane. Jane is the "queen bee" of our grade. She has the nicest clothes (her parents are very rich) and she is VERY popular because she's dating a popular boy as well. She's also a bully. She'll bully kids who are very shy, and a girl has left the school because of her.

Also, recently our grade voted for prefects (class leaders), and I was made a perfect. Jane was not. She was very disappointed, but now she keeps interfering with everything we are doing. We're organizing an event this coming week, and she's always involved, as well as ordering me around. I don't have a strong personality, is there any way that I can stand up to her that stays true to the scriptures?”

To answer this question or really any other question that has to do with bullying, let’s first answer the question what is bullying and what is not bullying.

Bullying is an act that causes harm to someone else that is intentional and repetitive. This can be physical, which includes hitting someone, pushing them, or even damaging their property. Bullying can be verbal, such as name calling, or insulting or teasing someone in a way that’s meant to hurt them. It can also be social, such as trying to manipulate someone, spread rumors about them, or excluding them on purpose. And bullying can be cyber, which is using online platforms to threaten or humiliate others. Bullying again is not a one-time act, it’s repetitive. It is not an argument between two people. It’s not a friend or someone else who is having a bad day, and they say or do something mean. Bullies tend to go after people who they perceive are weaker than they are. They feel like it gives them power.

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The UncommonTEEN App is available on the Apple Store! It looks like Google is going to take a bit longer.