23. Body Image and the Pressure to Be Perfect
06/14/21 • 13 min
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Have you ever heard of the quote, “You are your own worst critic?” There so much truth to that statement! So many times, we tend to pick out all of the things we don’t like about ourselves: our hair, our skin, our nose, our weight, our personality...even our laugh.
I want you to take a little test. If you have a pen and paper, go ahead and grab that. If not, you can do this in your head.
The first thing I want you to do is, in the next 15 seconds, make a list of as many things as you can that you don’t like about yourself...and go!
How many things did you come up with? Go ahead and count them and put the number on your paper. Maybe you think your nose is too big...or too small. Maybe you wish you could be taller...or short. Maybe you wish that you weren’t so shy and quiet...or maybe too loud. It seems like there’s always something we want to change, right?
I think one of the biggest reasons that it’s so easy for us to list all of the things about our bodies we don’t like is because our appearance means a lot to us. In episode 22, we talked about cliques and how a lot of times we will either be accepted or rejected based on our we look and how we dress. We struggle with wanting to be ourselves, who God created us to be, while at the same time wanting to be accepted by others.
This is something that I see so often among teen girls. We all want to be noticed and feel accepted and many times we will begin to act differently and dress differently...maybe more immodestly...to get those around us to notice us. Honestly, what it all comes down to, though, sometimes we struggle with knowing how valuable we are to God.
All right, so now, I want you to make another list. In the next 15 seconds, list as many things as you can that you love about yourself that you would never want to change....and...go!
Was it as easy to come up with that second list as it was the first one? Not for most of us. Count how many things were on your second list and compare it to your first list.
Why is it that it’s so easy to come up with that first list, but maybe not so easy to come up with that second one? I honestly think it has a lot to do with our body image and the pressure to be perfect...so that’s exactly what we’re going to talk about today.
Let’s start off by answering the question, “What is body image?” Body image is how you see, think, feel and act toward any part of your body.
And social media doesn’t help us with gaining a positive body image! Actually, social media is the #1 influencer on body image in teen girls. I shared in one of our previous podcasts that the average time a teen spends on social media since the shutdown is 9 hours a day! Think about all the time that is being spent on comparing ourselves to others. Now, if this is you...don’t feel condemned.
I want to help you walk this journey and really begin to love who it is that God created you to be. So please don’t hear that I’m putting you down. I want to help you more than anything!
In addition, so much time on social media pressures us to feel like we need to be perfect or we won’t measure up. What we may know, but not always think about it that the majority of the photos are fake, they have been filtered, airbrushed or photoshopped. So, many times what we’re co
CONNECT WITH COACH JAMIE
The UncommonTEEN App is available on the Apple Store! It looks like Google is going to take a bit longer.
Have a question you want me to answer on the podcast? Ask Here!
Have you ever heard of the quote, “You are your own worst critic?” There so much truth to that statement! So many times, we tend to pick out all of the things we don’t like about ourselves: our hair, our skin, our nose, our weight, our personality...even our laugh.
I want you to take a little test. If you have a pen and paper, go ahead and grab that. If not, you can do this in your head.
The first thing I want you to do is, in the next 15 seconds, make a list of as many things as you can that you don’t like about yourself...and go!
How many things did you come up with? Go ahead and count them and put the number on your paper. Maybe you think your nose is too big...or too small. Maybe you wish you could be taller...or short. Maybe you wish that you weren’t so shy and quiet...or maybe too loud. It seems like there’s always something we want to change, right?
I think one of the biggest reasons that it’s so easy for us to list all of the things about our bodies we don’t like is because our appearance means a lot to us. In episode 22, we talked about cliques and how a lot of times we will either be accepted or rejected based on our we look and how we dress. We struggle with wanting to be ourselves, who God created us to be, while at the same time wanting to be accepted by others.
This is something that I see so often among teen girls. We all want to be noticed and feel accepted and many times we will begin to act differently and dress differently...maybe more immodestly...to get those around us to notice us. Honestly, what it all comes down to, though, sometimes we struggle with knowing how valuable we are to God.
All right, so now, I want you to make another list. In the next 15 seconds, list as many things as you can that you love about yourself that you would never want to change....and...go!
Was it as easy to come up with that second list as it was the first one? Not for most of us. Count how many things were on your second list and compare it to your first list.
Why is it that it’s so easy to come up with that first list, but maybe not so easy to come up with that second one? I honestly think it has a lot to do with our body image and the pressure to be perfect...so that’s exactly what we’re going to talk about today.
Let’s start off by answering the question, “What is body image?” Body image is how you see, think, feel and act toward any part of your body.
And social media doesn’t help us with gaining a positive body image! Actually, social media is the #1 influencer on body image in teen girls. I shared in one of our previous podcasts that the average time a teen spends on social media since the shutdown is 9 hours a day! Think about all the time that is being spent on comparing ourselves to others. Now, if this is you...don’t feel condemned.
I want to help you walk this journey and really begin to love who it is that God created you to be. So please don’t hear that I’m putting you down. I want to help you more than anything!
In addition, so much time on social media pressures us to feel like we need to be perfect or we won’t measure up. What we may know, but not always think about it that the majority of the photos are fake, they have been filtered, airbrushed or photoshopped. So, many times what we’re co
CONNECT WITH COACH JAMIE
The UncommonTEEN App is available on the Apple Store! It looks like Google is going to take a bit longer.
Previous Episode
22. What Can We Do About Cliques, "Mean Girls," & Bullies?
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Cliques...oh yes, that oh-so-lovely word that we all just have warm, fuzzy feelings about, right? Haha...you are probably thinking, “Yeah, right!” And I am totally with you!
I don’t think that the majority of you see cliques in a positive way. Honestly, I don’t really either. I mean, it’s great to have people who you really connect with and true friends that you hang out with a lot...absolutely! That’s an amazing thing and a definite gift from God.
However, cliques are a little bit different. According to the Oxford dictionary definition of cliques, they are a small group of people, with shared interests or other features in common, who spend time together and do not readily allow others to join them. As we know, these are super common in middle school and high school.
Most of us can’t stand cliques, because we have been on the outside of those cliques and it didn’t feel great being the outsider. However, if we’re honest with ourselves, we have sometimes been a part of the very cliques that we can’t stand...me included. It’s not that we’re doing it on purpose, but sometimes we don’t even take the time to realize what we’re doing.
I encourage you to always reach out to new people and taking your friends with you to do so. The problem with cliques is that the people in them tend to turn inward. They are all about themselves and what others can do to serve them. They become selfish and they are all about me, me, me.
As Christians, it’s super important to keep reaching outward so that you can show the love of Jesus to those around you.
The problem with turning inward and becoming selfish is that when we start to think only about ourselves, we no longer care about others around us. This is why it’s so common in middle school and high school for the “mean girls” to come out.
If you are in public school or maybe in sports or whatever, you know exactly what I’m talking about. These girls are controlling and often the leader of their cliques. They think that they need to act this way because others around them are and they want to be accepted, or because it makes them more popular...or a lot of times it’s because someone has been mean to them and they are taking it out on people they feel that they can control.
The reason why I’m talking about this today, is I want to encourage you in a couple areas....one to check yourself to make sure that you haven’t turned inward yourself. A lot of times, it’s not our intentions to be that way and we don’t even realize it until we step back and see what’s really going on. Another reason we’re talking about this today is because you may be a target of some mean girls and I want to help you know what to do in order to stop it from happening.
To learn more about what you can do, check out today's podcast episode.
Always feel free to reach out to me at [email protected] or there is now a new tab on our App that you can use to reach out to me with...all you need to do is click on the tab that says, "Connect with Jamie" and it will go straight to my inbox.
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CONNECT WITH COACH JAMIE
The UncommonTEEN App is available on the Apple Store! It looks like Google is going to take a bit longer.
Next Episode
24. Body Image & the Pressure to Be Perfect 2
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According to Statista, did you know that digital advertisers plan to spend over $455 billion dollars a year on marketing to teens and kids? The reason for this is because teens will spend over $143 billion dollars on their products every year if the companies can get them to buy in. They have been sending out messages your whole life making you think that you need these specific products in order to solve all of life’s problems.
Now, I’m sure I don’t need to tell you this, but the teen years are challenging enough as it is. These are the years that you are trying to discover who you are, why you’re here and what direction you want to take in life.
See, these advertisers have been studying your biggest fears and insecurities for decades. They understand your desire to fit in and want to be accepted and they are feeding off of those insecurities. Advertisers use these insecurities to make you think that who you are is determined by the products, clothes, the games you play, the apps you’re on, whatever it may be. They want you to think that those are the things that define who you are.
For girls, struggling body images and the pressure for perfection increases when it comes to seeing these ads. They are pushing thoughts of, “You can’t be beautiful unless you have this...you wear this...you use this product...you try this diet or workout routine.” They push the need for being popular or for being self-confident, but do they really know anything about you? Or are they just feeding off of your fears?
Did you know that statistics show that teen girls spend over $44 billion dollars on makeup and skincare products alone? How many of you have ever tried a skincare product or makeup because you saw it on an ad? The ads are basically telling you, the only way that you will be beautiful or get accepted is by using their products.
Think about it, we want to fit in. We want to look beautiful and wear clothes that are trendy or popular. We don’t want to be thought of as an outcast. We want to be accepted by those who are around us. We want beautiful skin and beautiful hair. When we see these ads, they always show these girls with flawless skin and incredible hair, right? We see them and think...I want that!
These companies try to reach deep into your identity and get to your insecurities. Once they have reached the part of you that they know they can touch, then they know that they’ve got you.
To learn more about what we can do to combat the media's influence on our identity, check out this week's episode.
Need someone to talk to, I'm here for you. Feel free to reach out to me via the UncommonTEEN app, then click on the tab that says, "Connect with Jamie."
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CONNECT WITH COACH JAMIE
The UncommonTEEN App is available on the Apple Store! It looks like Google is going to take a bit longer.
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