143. "How Did I Get Here?"

10/07/24 • 22 min

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UncommonTEEN: The Podcast for Christian Teen Girls

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I have heard so many stories from several of you ladies who were innocently scrolling on social media when a message popped up in your chat.
This super cute guy was messaging you either asking you if you'd like to be his friend or complementing you about how beautiful you are. It seemed innocent enough until you found yourself in the place asking yourself the question, "How did I get here?"

Recently, Investigators (who are all former law enforcement officers) with an anti-trafficking organization called Hope for Justice, did an experiment where they created a fake Instagram account with a teen girl’s photo. In just 48 hours, there were messages from several people...three appearing to be older males who were excited to be talking to a girl under the age of 18. According to their website, hopeforjustice.org, these conversations escalated quickly to asking her (this fake Instagram account) for her age, where she lived, for her to send them photos and videos of herself, telling them that they will take care of them. When Hope for Justice responded that she (this fake Instagram account) lived at home with her mother, these guys wanted to meet with this “girl” in person. Two of these Three guys were identified by the police and law enforcement officers took over from there.

One of the biggest tactics online predators are using is blackmail. I have heard this directly from several different people.
There is a girl that is local to me. She was homeschooled and an all-around great girl. She was scrolling through social media one day and got a message from this guy who she thought was cute.
This girl is a Christian, but she never really felt accepted in her youth ministry...she especially was never noticed by any guys, so when this guy noticed her online and she saw he was cute. She started talking to him. She was cautious, because she had heard the stories.
They chatted every day at a specific time when nobody was home, and it became their thing. She got to know him and really felt a connection to him and then he asked her for an inappropriate photo. She was shocked, but sent a photo anyway, because she didn’t want to say no and not talk to this guy again.
That one photo turned into blackmail. He began to tell her that she needed to send him more photos and videos or he was going to send her parents the first photo that she sent. He told her that he knew where she lived and recited her home address to her. By the way, it is not hard for people to get your home address if they know what they are doing online. She didn’t know how he got her home address, but she felt stuck. It wasn’t until one day that the FBI came knocking at her door telling her parents that their daughter was a victim of online sexual exploitation.

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Previous Episode

142. Conquering Anxiety Once and For All!

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Anxiety...I remember being in this place...my heart began beating fast. It felt like there was a 1,000 pound elephant on my chest and I couldn’t breathe. I remember one time, and this was just earlier this year, I was in a crowd where I knew about 95% of the people there. In this crowd, we were asked to find someone and go talk to them. Not a big deal right? Wrong! I started to feel anxiety come on me, I started to listen to all of those negative thoughts going through my head like “who would want to talk to you?” “what would you even say?” “you’re going to be alone.” And I began to panic. I excused myself from the crowd, went into the restroom fighting tears and asked God for help.

As a teen, I remember lying awake at night, thinking about (or really I should say worrying about) anything and everything. It would literally take me hours to fall asleep, because I couldn’t shut off my brain. It always felt like something was about to happen, danger was going to hit, but I didn’t know where or when or how.

I was so bad, that if a friend didn’t call or show up when she was supposed to, I would automatically think the worst...and I didn’t know how to stop it! I even remember one time, interviewing for a job. I had my hands on my lap under the table and because of the anxiety I felt, I didn’t even realize I was doing this at the time, but I was scratching my hands with my fingernails. When I got up to leave, I’m thankful the person didn’t want to shake my hand, because my hands were starting to bleed from all the scratching.

Maybe you can relate. Maybe you have been right where I was. I recently read an article about the state of mental health in teens from in the United States and I wish I could say that what I read surprised me, but it didn’t. The article stated that anxiety, depression and hopelessness among teens in the United States is getting worse, not better.

If you are anything like I was, I tried everything and anything to get over anxiety, but nothing seemed to work. I thought that the only way things would change is if my circumstances would change, but that didn’t help either. It felt like a losing battle. But one thing I learned was that anxiety doesn’t just go away because our circumstances change.

Anxiety goes away when we learn how to conquer it once and for all!!

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Next Episode

144. Letting Go of Shame, Guilt & Regret

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In part one of this series, we talked about how to keep ourselves from losing positions so that we don’t find ourselves in a low place asking ourselves, “How did I get here?”

As a teen, I found myself in these places so often. I didn’t give my life to Jesus until I was 17 and I had a lot of learning, a lot of shame, a lot of guilt, a lot of regret that I couldn’t let go of...most of those because of choices I made that got me to that place where I was asking myself, “how did I get here?”

When I was a teenager, I didn’t have the best track record for choosing guys. Now, granted, I wasn’t a Christian until I was 17, but goodness...I could have taught you all what not to do! Well, I kind of do with my podcast episodes, by sharing my stories with you.

I want you to realize that if you are feeling this way, you are not alone. I know there are many girls who are listening to this walking through something similar, but there is hope. You can become free!

Freedom starts with forgiveness. Forgiving yourself and forgiving those who have hurt you. When we hold onto unforgiveness, it hurts us.

Forgiveness is the choice to let go of the desire to hurt those that hurt you...including yourself.
Forgiveness is not weakness. It gives you the power to take your life back from the person who hurt you.
When you choose to forgive, that’s when you find freedom.
Forgiveness is not a gift to the offender. It’s a gift to you. When you have unforgiveness, you hold onto your past. You are stuck and not able to step toward your God-given destiny.
Forgiveness doesn’t start with their apology. Sometimes they will never apologize. Sometimes they will never be sorry. When you hold onto unforgiveness, that person is still controlling you.
Forgiveness is a choice made by faith. Choices lead...and feelings will follow. If you wait for a feeling, you’ll never forgive.

True freedom comes from the Word.

John 8:31-32 tells us Then Jesus said to those Jews who believed Him, “If you abide in My word, you are My disciples indeed. And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.”
In order to really know the Word of God and step into the freedom He has for us, we have to know the Word. Not just know it in our heads but know it in our hearts. We do that by renewing our minds to God’s Word.
Romans 12:2 says in the NLT version, Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.
The battle of shame, guilt and regret is a battle in our mind. The Bible helps us renew our minds and when that happens, our thoughts line up with God’s thoughts and we are able to step into true freedom.

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