Thriving In Motherhood Podcast | Productivity, Planning, Family Systems, Time Management, Survival Mode, Mental Health, Vision - Why You Might Be Holding Onto Stuff [Episode 271]

Why You Might Be Holding Onto Stuff [Episode 271]

06/28/23 • 11 min

Thriving In Motherhood Podcast | Productivity, Planning, Family Systems, Time Management, Survival Mode, Mental Health, Vision

I’ve been decluttering my house for years, working through all the layers of things we have. A few weeks ago, I opened a bin of extra bags, backpacks, and soft luggage and figured I could let these things go since it’s been a while since I’ve used them.

But then I remembered all the times we DID use them, how useful they were, and all the times in the future that they could come in handy. I put the lid back on the box and decided to deal with it later.

As I was mulling over the content of the box a few days later, I had an epiphany about the real reason I wasn’t ready to let these things go.

We hold onto extra stuff when we don’t have a system for how we will do things. Because I don’t have a clear system for all the aspects of how we travel as a family, I hold onto more bags and travel items, “just in case” or “grab and go,” without giving it lots of thought.

Is this okay? Yep! But it’s also a challenge for me that I’m excited to keep plugging away at. Developing more systems not only for traveling but for lots of areas of our home and life.

Once we know how we’ll do something - like the toiletries bags we will use when we make stops in hotels on our road trips - and what and where everything goes in it - then I can confidently get rid of the excess.

There are lots of possible systems you can develop in your family and home to make things run more smoothly, but I want to encourage you that you don’t need too many in place for you to be able to move forward and spend time on the things you love.

Here are five systems that I recommend starting with:

Laundry
Dishes
Meals
Wake-up
Bedtime

If you decide the who, what, where, and when in each of these areas, you are already on your way to having your days go a lot smoother. Once these are good enough - not perfect - it’s time to move on to exploring!

You can learn more about that on the 5-Step Path From Surviving to Thriving and where you are on it with my free checklist. And if you need help building family systems that are unique to you and your needs, check out my program, Made to Soar: Next 90 Days.

As I was mulling over the content of the box a few days later, I had an epiphany about the real reason I wasn’t ready to let these things go.

Is this okay? Yep! But it’s also a challenge for me that I’m excited to keep plugging away at. Developing more systems not only for traveling but for lots of areas of our home and life.

Here are five systems that I recommend starting with:

Laundry
Dishes
Meals
Wake-up
Bedtime

Previous Episode

How We Can Cultivate a Growth Mindset in Motherhood with Kate House [Episode 270]

Have you ever heard of a growth mindset vs. a fixed mindset? It’s often come up in conversations I’ve had about parenting and helping our kids understand that “if at first, you don’t succeed, try, try again.”

In this week’s episode with Kate House of the Live By Design Podcast, she shares how this principle applies to our mindsets in motherhood.

Two Fixed Mindsets That You Might Experience As A Mom

I’m not worthy
I’m not a priority

Discovering the root of lack of worthiness comes by asking yourself “why” enough times until you discover the underlying thought for yourself personally. But once you discover the reason, you can replace it with an intentional thought like, “I’m worthy enough to feel joy.”

It’s also common in our culture for moms to share the idea that “I’m not a priority because I’m so busy taking care of everyone else.” But the reality is YOU are the only one that can actually take care of you, and if this is something you find yourself saying, you can change one baby step at a time.

If you are in a fixed mindset, it's the idea that you are born with the abilities that you have, and you can't grow and change. You might be thinking things like, "I could never," "I can't do this," I won't change."

In a growth mindset, you believe that you can learn, grow and change. You might be thinking things like: "I can grow and continue to learn," "I can ask for help," "I can find support", or "I can get creative." It's a continuum. We are always going to fall somewhere in between, which is incredibly liberating for any recovering perfectionist, so you never have to try to be 100% growth set all of the time.

Next Episode

Why Your Kids Need to See You Win with Gabe Cox [Episode 272]

Do you have dreams and goals that you want to go after but haven’t made much progress yet? This week’s conversation with Gabe Cox (@gabecox_redhotmindset) will hopefully inspire you to start taking baby steps forward on your unique journey as we discuss the power of letting your kids see you win.

When Gabe Cox was a young mom, she had a mentor share with her that her kids had asked her, “What do you do, mom?” She had nothing to tell them except what she did for her children. Her entire life was about them.

Investing in and being intentional with our children and families is so important, but for Gabe, she also realized that she wanted her kids to see what going after a goal, trying, failing, and learning looked like. She wanted her kids to see what doing something hard looked like and give them permission to do the same.

For her, that looks like running races, qualifying for the Boston Marathon, and writing a book. Fast forward many years, and her oldest son is working to compete in the Olympics as a gymnast. As she has watched him try and fail and learn and improve, she is now inspired by him.

Here are three pillars to setting and crushing goals:

See it: Create your vision! What is something that is on your heart? Write it all down - big and small goals. What is something that you could do that is a little bit outside your comfort zone? That is where you will grow.
Plan it: The plan needs to fit your capacity and your season. Know that you will have to adjust and be flexible.
Do it: You have to be in motion. Gabe shares that there is a place to wait on God, but He can work more in our lives when we are doing something for Him to work with.