Your Brain on Grief - Why It’s Important to Honor and Process Grief
09/06/23 • 24 min
Fully processing our losses is essential for overcoming prolonged grief. When the grieving process is disrupted, and we can't properly acknowledge our loss and integrate them into our lives, we can get stuck in prolonged grief. When we have unresolved grief, memories can bring back strong fight-or-flight reactions and cause emotional responses that can be hard on our bodies and our lifestyles. Grief is something that we all have to deal with, and it can be a very difficult emotion to process, but it's essential that we take the time to deal with it in our own ways and create the remembrance and reverence for our losses that we need so we can move on in a healthy way. Honor and talk about your grief, and don't get stuck with a 'grief brain'.
Show Notes:
▶️ We all experienced grief: unresolved grief can impact your life negatively. 01:14
🤕 A story about Bonnie’s friend: the prognosis of her illness was not good. 02:41
😢 Traveling to say goodbye: the difficult and beautiful moments in life. 05:32
🧠 Foggy details and ‘grief brain’. 07:19
👉 Grief can be felt emotionally, physically, behaviorally, and spiritually. 08:16
🤷♀️ What prolonged grief is, and how to recognize it. 08:54
⚠️ How grief affects your brain: trauma and fight-or-flight mode. 10:10
⚱️ Difference between the initial grief and the grieving: traditions that help and differences in the process. 11:34
😭 Six months after her father passed, Bonnie had an emotional reaction while donating platelets at a hospital. 13:21
📕 Unresolved grief can extend the grieving process. 17:35
🛐 With ambiguous losses, a lack of rituals and support can be difficult. 20:20
!!️ How to help someone who is grieving: a fear of stopping grieving, so we can hold onto loved ones. 21:19
🎯 Grief in therapy is handled like all emotional trauma: it needs to be honored. 23:05
Links
Connect with Dr. Bonnie Wims: www.bonniewims.com
Books/Resources:
Called To Lead
Ambiguous Loss: Learning to Live with Unresolved Grief
Follow Dr. Bonnie Wims: www.linkedin.com/in/drbonniewims
Book a free call with Dr. Bonnie Wims: calendly.com/bonnie-96
Fully processing our losses is essential for overcoming prolonged grief. When the grieving process is disrupted, and we can't properly acknowledge our loss and integrate them into our lives, we can get stuck in prolonged grief. When we have unresolved grief, memories can bring back strong fight-or-flight reactions and cause emotional responses that can be hard on our bodies and our lifestyles. Grief is something that we all have to deal with, and it can be a very difficult emotion to process, but it's essential that we take the time to deal with it in our own ways and create the remembrance and reverence for our losses that we need so we can move on in a healthy way. Honor and talk about your grief, and don't get stuck with a 'grief brain'.
Show Notes:
▶️ We all experienced grief: unresolved grief can impact your life negatively. 01:14
🤕 A story about Bonnie’s friend: the prognosis of her illness was not good. 02:41
😢 Traveling to say goodbye: the difficult and beautiful moments in life. 05:32
🧠 Foggy details and ‘grief brain’. 07:19
👉 Grief can be felt emotionally, physically, behaviorally, and spiritually. 08:16
🤷♀️ What prolonged grief is, and how to recognize it. 08:54
⚠️ How grief affects your brain: trauma and fight-or-flight mode. 10:10
⚱️ Difference between the initial grief and the grieving: traditions that help and differences in the process. 11:34
😭 Six months after her father passed, Bonnie had an emotional reaction while donating platelets at a hospital. 13:21
📕 Unresolved grief can extend the grieving process. 17:35
🛐 With ambiguous losses, a lack of rituals and support can be difficult. 20:20
!!️ How to help someone who is grieving: a fear of stopping grieving, so we can hold onto loved ones. 21:19
🎯 Grief in therapy is handled like all emotional trauma: it needs to be honored. 23:05
Links
Connect with Dr. Bonnie Wims: www.bonniewims.com
Books/Resources:
Called To Lead
Ambiguous Loss: Learning to Live with Unresolved Grief
Follow Dr. Bonnie Wims: www.linkedin.com/in/drbonniewims
Book a free call with Dr. Bonnie Wims: calendly.com/bonnie-96
Previous Episode
Childhood Traumas Can Influence Adult Decision-Making
Your childhood experiences can elicit emotions and behaviors in your adult life. Many of us have characteristics that we brush off as being "just the way we are," or we may experience emotional responses and triggers to seemingly mundane activities. To get in touch with our feelings, we must challenge them, and attempt to gain insight into why we respond this way. If we can find the root cause of our emotional responses, we can give ourselves the grace, compassion, and understanding we need to heal and begin moving forward. You have the power to reclaim your self-worth and to stop letting your irrational emotions dictate your adult life.
Notes
🎙️ Getting a cassette recorder as a gift: the sheer terror associated with the sound of Bonnie’s own voice. 01:06
👧 Our early experiences and our adult decision patterns: we are rationalizing behavior to cope with difficult emotions. 05:46
🤔 Procrastination and avoidance in recording a podcast: owning your voice vs. being silent. 08:01
😇 Scary things are leaving marks: we get upset about the behaviors, but there is insight behind that. 10:47
⚠️ Seeing things through the prism of fear evokes emotions: challenge your emotional responses. 11:56
🎯 Why is it so important to challenge some of your “I'm just that way” characteristics? 14:18
👉 Integrating the fear into your conscious mind: our sense of self-worth might get damaged by the ‘safety’ and fear issues we lived through. 16:12
🤓 Bonnie’s solution to her fear: you can’t fix it all in a day, but knowing the root cause will help you heal. 17:36
✨ Do you have something you would like to work on? 18:51
Links:
Connect with Dr. Bonnie Wims: www.bonniewims.com
Book: www.amazon.com/Called-to-Lead/dp/B094RF5K9L
Follow Dr. Bonnie Wims: www.linkedin.com/in/drbonniewims
Book a free call with Dr. Bonnie Wims: calendly.com/bonnie-96
Next Episode
The Fear of Change and How It Can Impact Our Psychological Health
Change is hard and it can impact our psychological health. We all have expectations and plans of how we want things to go, and change can make us feel like we are losing control of that. When change disrupts our comfort zone and challenges us, it can force us to look at ourselves in a new light, which can lead to anxiety, fear and negative self talk. The truth is that being scared of change is completely normal, and talking to people about how you feel and why you are scared and anxious can help you see things from a new perspective. Life is filled with change that can reinforce or challenge who we think we are, but as long as we are kind and understanding with ourselves through the challenges, they can help us grow stronger and more resilient.
Show notes:
🌀 Changes are very hard: changes impact our sense of happiness and comfort. 01:32
🇬🇧 Moving to the UK: first reaction of an eight-year-old who had a map of his future life in mind. 02:30
👦 Anxiety was born in Jesse: becoming introverted, OCD, and hating for change. 05:20
🏡 When home is just one place in the world. 08:59
🤯 Nostalgia and wrapping up our identity into external factors: moving back to the USA was even harder. 11:37
😩 Scared to let people in: being scared to talk to people and the need for therapy. 16:31
👉 When circumstances are very difficult, it has nothing to do with your capabilities: harsh self-talk and self-bullying. 19:00
🤫 Young men want to fix things themselves: rejecting conversations or not getting deep enough. 21:21
⚠️ Sometimes life is hard but talking about it can help. 23:07
😇 Thriving journey: starting to talk and showing authenticity released Jesse’s confidence. 24:57
🎯 We often define ourselves as too small: the importance of being flexible in how you define yourself. 27:42
😇 Daily things challenge who we think we are: self-discovery and personal growth are on every corner. 29:19
🛌 Loneliness and identity crisis in various cities: the first night is the hardest. 32:44
🌞 Using “if-then” sentences in therapy: separating yourself from your feelings. 35:24
🤩 The importance of recognizing what you are saying to yourself in times of change. 37:20
Connect with Dr. Bonnie Wims:www.bonniewims.com
Book:https://www.amazon.com/Called-to-Lead/dp/B094RF5K9L
Follow Dr. Bonnie Wims:www.linkedin.com/in/drbonniewims
Book a free call with Dr. Bonnie Wims:calendly.com/bonnie-96
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