Therapy Across Cultures: A Journey to Self-Acceptance with Yuri Chu Su

03/06/24 • 35 min

Getting to know yourself so that you may be kinder to yourself.

Yuri Chu Su is a digital nomad who embarked upon a 20-month transformative journey around the world. Growing up in a household where emotions were not openly discussed, Yuri felt alone in her struggles with stress and anxiety. In a critical step in college, Yuri found a female Chinese therapist on campus and her therapy journey began.

Through therapy, Yuri realized the importance of self-awareness and self-compassion. The process of observing thoughts without judgment and recognizing the value of having a safe space to unload and be validated are just some of the benefits she received from going to therapy.

How to take a beat and step out of reaction mode to witness the thoughts that are bothering us is the greatest tool for self-awareness. “I’m not my thoughts, but I’m the awareness of my thoughts” - is the biggest lesson Yuri learned by going to therapy.

Show notes
🇨🇷Yuri and Dr. Bonnie met in the jungle in Costa Rica. 01:07
👩🏼‍🎓 Yuri has been in therapy since she was 19: her family does not speak about emotions or mental health, so she has often felt alone in her struggles. 04:04
😇 Challenging herself to speak about emotions: getting out of the comfort zone in order to feel better. 06:46
🤩 A good therapist validates feelings without judging whether they are good or bad. 08:38
👩🏻‍⚕️ Cultural experiences with therapy: Yuri’s first therapist was Chinese and female, which led to a deep and more complete understanding of each other. 10:01
✌️ The importance of finding a therapist with experience working with issues similar to yours. 11:48
✍🏻 Finding the method that works for you: different types of therapies - online typing therapy, video call therapy, classic one-on-one. 14:27
🤗 The benefit of talking to someone who is not judging you: present and validating relationship. 16:13
🛠️ The concept of self-awareness and personal programs: getting the tools to navigate situations through your life. 18:18
🤓 Self-awareness is creating a space between thoughts and observing them with critical thinking. 21:24
🪷 Cultural clash and contrasts of Chinese and Peruvian cultures: finding a way to navigate two different worlds. 24:02
🎯 You are not flawed - challenge the preconceptions we have. 25:49
😍 Therapy helped Yuri to become an even kinder version of herself and improve the negativity, judging and shame she unleashed on herself. 28:13
💎 Push through the reluctance: only good things can meet you on the journey of getting to know yourself. 29:16

Links:

🤩 Connect with Yuri on Instagram: @yurichusu & at www.yurichusu.com

Connect with Dr. Bonnie Wims: www.bonniewims.com

Book Mentioned: https://www.amazon.com/Called-to-Lead/dp/B094RF5K9L

Follow Dr. Bonnie Wims: www.linkedin.com/in/drbonniewims

Book a free call with Dr. Bonnie Wims: calendly.com/bonnie-96

Getting to know yourself so that you may be kinder to yourself.

Links:

🤩 Connect with Yuri on Instagram: @yurichusu & at www.yurichusu.com

Connect with Dr. Bonnie Wims: www.bonniewims.com

Book Mentioned: https://www.amazon.com/Called-to-Lead/dp/B094RF5K9L

Follow Dr. Bonnie Wims: www.linkedin.com/in/drbonniewims

Book a free call with Dr. Bonnie Wims: calendly.com/bonnie-96

Previous Episode

Helping Men to Build Relationships and Express Themselves, with Owen Marcus

Men often get left behind when it comes to therapy.

Owen Marcus, a coach who works with men to connect so that their relationships work, believes men are hungry for an environment where they can feel safe, and get connected in authentic ways to other men. Owen trained and often taught with leaders in the fields of somatic and relationship therapies in the late 1970s and 1980s. Ron Kurtz and Peter Levine, Ph.D., taught him how to use body awareness as a powerful yet gentle way to produce significant change.

Men have been trained in different ways to perform, to fix, to solve problems; they are indoctrinated from a young age to do so. Female partners and spouses often ask for men to be able to empathize with their emotions. Owen believes that men can be both masculine AND vulnerable, once they understand that it is okay to discuss emotions and feelings.

Sometimes you can't go in straight in the front door. This therapeutic approach is a window that allows people to start thinking about things in a different way!

Notes
🧔 Owen is a coach who works with men: it seems like men often get left behind in therapy. 01:06
👨‍🦱 He was immersed in the somatic psychotherapy approach: men hardly talk about their emotions. 02:06
⚡ Hakomi method: using the body as a vehicle to create emotional change. 05:20
🌞 Men are good at fixing things, but they need connection: emotional connection with women happens when men are authentic in their own emotional language. 08:33
⚠️ We aren't innately flawed: men do not feel they are enough, and they think they are trapped. 13:49
🚩 Men think they’re being emotional, by using emotional words, but they are not connecting emotionally. 18:37
😇 Men are hungry for an environment where they can feel safe, and get connected in really authentic ways to other men. 24:56
🗣️ Practicing with other people and having a practicing arena for therapists and couples: learning new skills and having mutual help. 29:58
🤓 Physiology of stress, the emotional aspect of it, and the impact of culture: when the box of understanding expand, men have more space for relationships and changes in their lives. 33:10
🛑 Stephen Porges’ Polyvagal theory: shame runs rampant for men - stop the pathway in which you are wrong. 36:07

Links

Meet Owen: www.owenmarcus.com

Connect with Dr. Bonnie Wims:www.bonniewims.com

Book:https://www.amazon.com/Called-to-Lead/dp/B094RF5K9L

Follow Dr. Bonnie Wims:www.linkedin.com/in/drbonniewims

Book a free call with Dr. Bonnie Wims:calendly.com/bonnie-96

Next Episode

Fostering Healthy Relationships Through Boundary Setting and Self-Care with Olivia Verhulst

Self-care and boundaries are ever-evolving, just as our identity evolves!

Olivia Verhulst is a psychotherapist, adjunct professor, Forbes Health Advisor and She Leads LIVE conference speaker. With a strong focus on self-care and boundaries, Olivia believes it is important to allow ourselves to have needs and address them. Self-care is a deep-rooted sense of what it is to care for ourselves, and we need to allow ourselves to make decisions that align with nourishing self-preservation boundaries.

Olivia teaches that while boundaries can sometimes be scary to implement, they are, in fact, what keeps us close to others. Setting boundaries in our lives allows us to place limits in our relationships and to create a space within which we can show up genuinely and authentically without running the risk of overextending ourselves.

Be willing to hear what it is that you are telling yourself, and then show up for yourself!

Notes:
🎤 Olivia met Bonnie at the She Leads LIVE 2023 conference, where she gave a speech about self-care. 3:07
⚠️ Self-care is really about the purpose and context, not Spa trips and massages. 4:47
👉 The desire to constantly try to be perfect comes from a sense of inadequacy. 07:08
🤔 Boundaries are scary for many, but they're the thing that keeps us close to others. 10:06
👀 Resentment can inform us about what's going on inside of us. 13:15
🫂 Intimacy involves being truly seen and known by another. 18:21
🗣️ People are not mind readers: when we communicate with them, we name our limits in relationships. 21:22
🌸 Our identity is ever-evolving, and thus, so are our boundaries. 26:40
😇 Being willing to hear what you're telling yourself: permitting yourself to be a needy human. 29:39

Links:

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/olivia-verhulst-34098b136/

Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/mary-olivia-verhulst-new-york-ny/1003416