Call 988 in Crisis: The Importance of Normalizing Conversations Around Suicide with Lisa Sugarman
07/03/24 • 38 min
**Trigger Warning: Suicide**
The following content discusses topics related to suicide. This may be distressing or triggering for some individuals. If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, please seek help from a mental health professional or contact a crisis hotline immediately.
____________________________________________________________________________________________
Sharing creates a community and an environment where people don't feel judged.
Lisa Sugarman is an author, syndicated columnist, three-time survivor of loss from suicide. She’s also a storyteller with NAMI, and a crisis counselor with the Trevor Project. Lisa shares her personal story of losing her father, cousin, and childhood friend. Lisa didn't know her father had taken his life until she was 45, the same age he was when he died. The specific kind of grief she experienced prompted Lisa to learn all she could about mental health and share her experiences to help others.
While Lisa is an empath and a highly sensitive person, her work as a counselor in Lifeline is not negatively affecting her. Rather, it has empowered her more! Lisa shares tips on how to deal with people in crisis and how to help them manage the tough feelings they’re experiencing.
The decision to take one’s life stems from horrible suffering, often endured silently. Listening to people’s stories, doing all you can to understand them, and holding a safe space to express their problems can help tremendously.
It’s so important to bring uncomfortable subjects to the surface and into the mainstream so we can normalize conversations around mental illness, suicide, and crisis.
Show notes:
☹️ Lisa is a Crisis counselor: she lost her father, cousin, and childhood friend to suicide. 01:47
🤩 Storytelling, writing, and being a listener to help suicidal people. 03:18
⚠️ Understanding the power of sharing your story as a suicide loss survivor: suicide loss is a specific kind of trauma. 07:07
👂 There is no fix for grief but holding space gives empowerment. 11:03
😭 The way Lisa found out her dad took his life: the different kind of grief. 12:35
👩👧 Mother’s protection and family dynamics after the suicide. 15:43
🦸 Crisis counselors are unsung heroes: meeting people in their most raw realness. 20:23
🗣️ Using blunt language with a person who is in pain or potentially suicidal. 24:04
☎️ Lifelines are needed for every crisis and should be used regularly: call 988. 29:40
🌺 Lisa creates short videos and writes the column We Are Who We Are: creating recourses and making them available for everyone. 32:18.
Links:
Website: www.lisasugarman.com
Connect with Lisa: www.linkedin.com/in/lisa-sugarman-she-her-hers-16925b69
Follow Dr. Bonnie Wims:www.linkedin.com/in/drbonniewims
Book a free call with Dr. Bonnie Wims:calendly.com/bonnie-96
**Trigger Warning: Suicide**
The following content discusses topics related to suicide. This may be distressing or triggering for some individuals. If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, please seek help from a mental health professional or contact a crisis hotline immediately.
____________________________________________________________________________________________
Sharing creates a community and an environment where people don't feel judged.
Lisa Sugarman is an author, syndicated columnist, three-time survivor of loss from suicide. She’s also a storyteller with NAMI, and a crisis counselor with the Trevor Project. Lisa shares her personal story of losing her father, cousin, and childhood friend. Lisa didn't know her father had taken his life until she was 45, the same age he was when he died. The specific kind of grief she experienced prompted Lisa to learn all she could about mental health and share her experiences to help others.
While Lisa is an empath and a highly sensitive person, her work as a counselor in Lifeline is not negatively affecting her. Rather, it has empowered her more! Lisa shares tips on how to deal with people in crisis and how to help them manage the tough feelings they’re experiencing.
The decision to take one’s life stems from horrible suffering, often endured silently. Listening to people’s stories, doing all you can to understand them, and holding a safe space to express their problems can help tremendously.
It’s so important to bring uncomfortable subjects to the surface and into the mainstream so we can normalize conversations around mental illness, suicide, and crisis.
Show notes:
☹️ Lisa is a Crisis counselor: she lost her father, cousin, and childhood friend to suicide. 01:47
🤩 Storytelling, writing, and being a listener to help suicidal people. 03:18
⚠️ Understanding the power of sharing your story as a suicide loss survivor: suicide loss is a specific kind of trauma. 07:07
👂 There is no fix for grief but holding space gives empowerment. 11:03
😭 The way Lisa found out her dad took his life: the different kind of grief. 12:35
👩👧 Mother’s protection and family dynamics after the suicide. 15:43
🦸 Crisis counselors are unsung heroes: meeting people in their most raw realness. 20:23
🗣️ Using blunt language with a person who is in pain or potentially suicidal. 24:04
☎️ Lifelines are needed for every crisis and should be used regularly: call 988. 29:40
🌺 Lisa creates short videos and writes the column We Are Who We Are: creating recourses and making them available for everyone. 32:18.
Links:
Website: www.lisasugarman.com
Connect with Lisa: www.linkedin.com/in/lisa-sugarman-she-her-hers-16925b69
Follow Dr. Bonnie Wims:www.linkedin.com/in/drbonniewims
Book a free call with Dr. Bonnie Wims:calendly.com/bonnie-96
Previous Episode
The Lens of a Family System: Contribute to Society by Healing Yourself and Your Relationships with Phyllis Leavitt
We are wired to be dependent, to connect, to love, and to feel a sense of belonging.
Phyllis Leavitt is a podcaster, author, and psychotherapist for over three decades. In her book, America in Therapy: A New Approach to Hope and Healing for a Nation in Crisis, she discusses in-depth how abusive family dynamics are playing out in America, especially in politics, and how we can use the best of what we have learned from psychology, Family Systems, and Family Therapy to interrupt the escalating cycle of hatred, divisiveness, and violence, and begin to heal the family of America.
Phyllis Leavitt shares her experience and focuses on healing relationships, both with ourselves and with others. She advocates for applying this within larger institutions to bridge divides, build empathy, and foster understanding. Her approach involves taking personal responsibility, making necessary changes within ourselves, and building deep connections rather than blaming others, which we usually do.
To reconnect with that beautiful person that we were born to be, that innocent baby, people need to heal. When people heal and find that inner essence, and connect to it, they have a source of love and understanding that they bring into the world around them. Healing on an individual level is deeply connected to the broader societal context and the only way to make this world a better place is to start from ourselves.
Love and connection, among many other positive things, are essential for human well-being. When we lack these, we feel unwell.
Notes:
🔗 Unhealed trauma, models, and values of the people we grow up with—all the groups that affect family dynamics and us. 02:05
🤔 Healing her trauma helped Phyllis realize that people don’t understand what is going on with them. 05:19
⭐ The more we heal individually, the more we bring love and attention to the people around us and to society. 10:41
2️⃣ Learned helplessness and identifying with the aggressors are two patterns that we are experiencing as a society. 12:42
⚠️ The stigma around needing another human being for help is specifically tied to mental health: we all need love and support. 18:18
🤯 Adopting trauma to survive and not knowing how to move from the behavioral patterns. 22:03
🔁 Attraction to the familiar: abuse creates a feeling of disliking dependency. 25:32
🌺 Allow yourself to get help and depend on help to heal: the power of random kindness and the ripple effect of our behavior. 28:18
Links:
Website: www.phyllisleavitt.com
Next Episode
A Journey Through Mental Health and Therapy with Gretchen G-Rex
“Therapy was like a big warm hug... It was cathartic and freeing. I wish I had these tools years ago. Having somebody to talk to who wasn’t a friend or family member... It was invaluable."
Gretchen Shoser, also known as G Rex, is a mental health advocate and co-host of the podcast ”Sh!t That Goes On In Our Heads”. Gretchen shares her journey of a severe mental health crisis on Christmas Day 2022, which led her to call 988 for help. This experience, combined with therapy and sharing her story on social media, helped her find support and heal.
Finding hope despite feeling overwhelmed and being close to suicide is something Gretchen lived by. She explains how thinking about her loved ones and future possibilities helped her reach out for help. The role of therapy in providing tools, support, and a safe space for expression is huge. The importance of finding the right therapist and the profound impact therapy has had on Gretchen’s life, including dealing with negative self-talk and emotional healing. The negative self-talk is very powerful, but Gretchen didn’t fully understand its extent until she started therapy.
Finding hope and love is possible, just reach out.
Notes:
😇 Becoming a mental health advocate after a serious breakdown in 2022: being terrified and on the edge of suicide. 02:26
😩 Being really scared and calling 988: what if this is not working, what about my loved ones? 5:55
😭 Cathartic tears and findings during the therapy: three types of therapies Gretchen is practicing. 08:47
🆚 “Go find your Happy” vs blockage: Gretchen’s bad self-talk and not being able to find her voice. 13:22
🛋️ Being 18 months in therapy and having tools for changing issues that appear: helping other people through a podcast. 18:38
🎙️ Laughing therapy and creating a podcast: sharing stories with people about their mental health journey. 21:05
🌞 Getting out of the shadows: shame came out when therapy started and people left Gretchen when she started sharing her story. 26:07
🙅♀️ Boundaries is not just saying no: three questions Gretchen asks herself. 27:47
🕵️♀️ Figure out patterns other people are pushing towards you: taking care of yourself and not being a people pleaser. 32:07
🧒 Let your inner child come out at least once a day: Gretchen is happy to be alive. 35:04
✍️ The power of journaling for Gretchen: routine with five new tools she learned in therapy. 39:24
🤗 Self-care is a decision to care for yourself: you are worth of it - find your joy and connection to yourself. 46:29
🩷 Don’t compare yourself to others. 47:49
Links:
Connect www.linkedin.com/in/gaschoser
Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/1KWbjOUrCd26BksvczVdkK
Follow Dr. Bonnie Wims:www.linkedin.com/in/drbonniewims
Book a free call with Dr. Bonnie Wims:calendly.com/bonnie-96
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