Why Nice Guys Struggle in Relationships | Addison Shock on Modern Masculinity
Explicit content warning
10/03/24 • 81 min
"So many partnerships are the mother and the little boy dynamic, and I was in that. That was like a huge reason of the collapse of a nine-year relationship. Part of what contributes to this issue is that question that we just asked, 'What do I do as a woman to help the man in my life?' And I just want to say that is 100% not the responsibility of the woman. They're responsible for their own emotional landscape. And two, that does further perpetuate in some way, how women seek in a crafty way to get the man in their life to be in his masculine energy.
Women are shrewd, crafty and smart, it's a gift! But also as crafty as you think you are, the man is definitely sniffing that out. And what that most often is going to do is cause him to shut down because he doesn't want to be mothered. When he feels that, he responds like an ashamed little boy and shuts down.
Women have told me they don't feel like the man in their life listens, or wants to please them, and I'd say it's the exact opposite. They deeply desire to please and deeply want to show up for and care for, but so often that opportunity gets taken from them because there's an overly masculine energy. The men feel, 'No matter what I do, it's wrong, so I'm not even going to try anymore.'"
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CHAPTERS
00:00 Introduction
07:57 Expressing Anger
12:09 Personal Growth and Learning to Forgive
24:50 Navigating Masculinity in a Changing Society
34:15 The Importance of Men Finding Their Voice
41:00 Women Trusting Their Feminine Energy
46:56 Inviting Needs with Love
54:41 Dynamics of Masculine and Feminine Energies
58:02 Balancing Feminine and Masculine Energy in Business
01:00:42 Creating Safety and Trust in Relationships
01:05:33 Inviting Men to Seek Support
01:07:10 Shifting Dynamics in Relationships
01:10:15 The Power of Encouragement
01:11:02 Vulnerably Communicating Needs
01:15:22 Navigating Isolation, Anger, and Anxiousness
01:18:45 How to Connect with Addison
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Addison Shock has worked in human development spaces for over 15 years. He is a Couples & Individuals Counselor as well as a Life Coach for men. For over 10 years, he’s supported men who are navigating anger, anxiety, relationship issues, lack of direction and the various pains of life. His goal is to help them develop emotional capacity, relational intimacy, healthy expressions of anger and sadness and support in developing a more calm, stable life that is good for them and the ones they love most.
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RESOURCES
FREE GUIDE: How To Get Your Partner to Join Your Personal Growth Journey
Addison's Website
Addison's Instagram
Support the show with your donation: https://www.support/thewholeshebangpodcast
SUBSCRIBE and WATCH on YouTube
"So many partnerships are the mother and the little boy dynamic, and I was in that. That was like a huge reason of the collapse of a nine-year relationship. Part of what contributes to this issue is that question that we just asked, 'What do I do as a woman to help the man in my life?' And I just want to say that is 100% not the responsibility of the woman. They're responsible for their own emotional landscape. And two, that does further perpetuate in some way, how women seek in a crafty way to get the man in their life to be in his masculine energy.
Women are shrewd, crafty and smart, it's a gift! But also as crafty as you think you are, the man is definitely sniffing that out. And what that most often is going to do is cause him to shut down because he doesn't want to be mothered. When he feels that, he responds like an ashamed little boy and shuts down.
Women have told me they don't feel like the man in their life listens, or wants to please them, and I'd say it's the exact opposite. They deeply desire to please and deeply want to show up for and care for, but so often that opportunity gets taken from them because there's an overly masculine energy. The men feel, 'No matter what I do, it's wrong, so I'm not even going to try anymore.'"
---------------
CHAPTERS
00:00 Introduction
07:57 Expressing Anger
12:09 Personal Growth and Learning to Forgive
24:50 Navigating Masculinity in a Changing Society
34:15 The Importance of Men Finding Their Voice
41:00 Women Trusting Their Feminine Energy
46:56 Inviting Needs with Love
54:41 Dynamics of Masculine and Feminine Energies
58:02 Balancing Feminine and Masculine Energy in Business
01:00:42 Creating Safety and Trust in Relationships
01:05:33 Inviting Men to Seek Support
01:07:10 Shifting Dynamics in Relationships
01:10:15 The Power of Encouragement
01:11:02 Vulnerably Communicating Needs
01:15:22 Navigating Isolation, Anger, and Anxiousness
01:18:45 How to Connect with Addison
------
Addison Shock has worked in human development spaces for over 15 years. He is a Couples & Individuals Counselor as well as a Life Coach for men. For over 10 years, he’s supported men who are navigating anger, anxiety, relationship issues, lack of direction and the various pains of life. His goal is to help them develop emotional capacity, relational intimacy, healthy expressions of anger and sadness and support in developing a more calm, stable life that is good for them and the ones they love most.
______
RESOURCES
FREE GUIDE: How To Get Your Partner to Join Your Personal Growth Journey
Addison's Website
Addison's Instagram
Support the show with your donation: https://www.support/thewholeshebangpodcast
SUBSCRIBE and WATCH on YouTube
Previous Episode
Sacred Kink: Beyond Taboo | Alex Mischka on Primal Intimacy
Taboo, kink, and primal intimacy. If you would have told me five years ago I'd be here... publishing this interview... I'd have blushed, laughed, and been a bit dumbfounded as to how I arrived here. All that to be said, I couldn't be happier, more free and proud to be exploring topics that I once held shame around, and sharing them with you. THIS is what it's about. Approaching the parts of ourselves we've relegated to the shadows, and compassionately drawing them back home.
No matter where you are in terms of comfort, curiosity, or expertise with these topics, this conversation was honest, compelling and full of insight surrounding conscious relating and love. This to me, is a powerful exploration of the differing textures of sacred sexuality. I hope that you find yourself enlightened and more free after listening to this. Alex is epic, you're in for a treat!
xo - Jen
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CHAPTERS
00:00 Introduction
04:50 Exploring Rites of Passage and Personal Growth
07:55 The Journey of Dating and Relationships
10:56 Understanding Taboo and Eros
13:46 The Intersection of Dark and Light in Sexuality
16:56 Creating Safe Spaces for Intimacy
20:07 The Impact of Pornography on Relationships
23:05 Healthy Self-Pleasure and Shame
25:51 The Masculine and Feminine Wounds
28:58 The Savage and the Sensual
32:13 The Role of Containment in Relationships
35:01The Dark Lover's Code of Conduct
38:00 The Ripple Effect of Intimacy Work
41:05 Conclusion and Final Thoughts
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ALEX MISCHKA
Alex is a Coach & Facilitator who specializes in helping men & women harness their Embodied Power, navigate Intimacy & Relationship, & live a life of Sexual Sovereignty.
He facilitates workshops & retreats globally, working with the themes of Eros & Erotic Intelligence, Archetype, Shadow Work, Embodiment & Conscious Relationship.
His North Star is cultivating more life force energy for his clients & helping them find more safety in their bodies - while empowering them to lead lives of passion, play & deeper connection.
-------
RESOURCES
ALEX MISCHKA
Dark Lover: 8 Week Journey To Embodying Your Dark Primal Lover
Alex's Website
Alex's IG
Support the show with your donation: https://www.support/thewholeshebangpodcast
SUBSCRIBE and WATCH on YouTube
Next Episode
Women as Oracles: Trusting Your Inner Wisdom | Anabel Vizcarra
“A woman is an oracle, but we've got to develop this skill because it's been forgotten. We have focused more on an external beauty in order to get resources than our inner value and wisdom and, of course, at some point it wasn't safe to do that. Women have been shaped into believing that we are weak and that we need this physical, masculine protection and resource. And there is truth to that, but along that that path, we forgot.
Instead we're competing. We're competing for the men, we're competing for resources, we're competing for who looks better... who's younger. But when we return to our center, when we really reconnect to the bigger purpose of why we're here, and source ourselves to our true resource. Because that's our intuition, that's our wisdom, that's our sense felt of reality. Then we're able to discern lies through our body, and we're able to protect ourselves in a way that external protection you cannot do.”
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CHAPTERS
00:00 Introduction and Grounding
03:03 Embracing the Body as a Vessel of Creation and Wisdom
07:18 The Journey of Self-Discovery and Self-Acceptance
13:21 Embracing the Full Spectrum of Being a Woman
17:45 The Power of Gentleness and Grace
21:30 The Role of Women as Oracles and Wise Women
25:27 Creating a New Vision for the Wise Woman
35:18 Tapping into Inner Wisdom and Power
39:14 Healing Ancient Wounds and Reclaiming Power
49:04 The Revival of the Feminine
57:48 Initiating Men into Divine Nature
01:05:29 The Power of Sacred Sexuality
01:11:27 Co-Creating and Manifesting Visions
01:13:52 Sacred Sexual Healing and Connection
01:16:09 Honoring Cycles and Listening to Inner Wisdom
------
Anabel Vizcarra | Feminine Embodiment Mentor & Womb Shaman
Anabel champions women into trusting their own healing process & reconnecting to their inner source of potent feminine wisdom and power. Anabel’s body of work is a synthesis of Womb Shamanism, Gene Keys, Lineage Traditions, Ayurvedic medicine, Quantum Physics & Eco-Epigenetics.
With over 15+ years of experience, she mentors women on how to tap in to their deep inner well of gifts, grief and knowing. Thereby igniting a deep radiance & magnetism for life. Through sincere self awareness, ancestral wisdom & emotional mastery - women become living and thriving vessels of alchemical power, to reshape their realities.
She believes that when we have context for where we come from, we can locate why we are here and embrace where we are going.
RESOURCES
Anabel's Masterclasses + Coaching
Anabel's IG
Support the show with your donation: https://www.support/thewholeshebangpodcast
SUBSCRIBE and WATCH on YouTube
The Whole Shebang - Why Nice Guys Struggle in Relationships | Addison Shock on Modern Masculinity
Transcript
So many partnerships are the mother and the little boy , and I was in that . That was like a huge reason of the collapse of a nine-year relationship . For me , part of what contributes to this issue is that question that we just asked what do I do as a woman to help the man in my life ? And I just want to say that is 100% not the responsibility of the woman . They're respon
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