Must Be Nice: Growing Beyond the Compare Game with Jason Kotecki
02/13/24 • 28 min
In this inspiring episode of the "Happy AF Show," host Phil Gerbyshak sits down with Jason Kotecki, an artist, author, and professional speaker known for his new book "Must Be Nice: Your Guide to Growing Beyond the Compare Game." They dive into a conversation full of insights, laughter, and practical advice on focusing your marketing efforts, the power of serving others, and overcoming the pitfalls of comparison.
Key Takeaways:
Focusing Your Marketing with a Fishing Analogy:
Jason shares valuable advice from the late Shan Stevenson on marketing: Focus on your target audience like selecting a specific fish to catch. However, be open to serendipitous opportunities, akin to "different fish jumping in your boat."
Serving the Helpers:
Targeting "helpers" in sectors like healthcare, education, and law enforcement, Jason discusses how his message helps manage burnout and encourages self-care, emphasizing service over compensation.
The Must Be Nice Syndrome:
The core of Jason's book and our conversation revolves around transcending the "must be nice" mindset, which stems from comparing ourselves to others’ highlights, and instead recognizing and leveraging our unique talents.
Integrating Talents to Stand Out:
Jason underscores the importance of combining skills (a talent stack) to create a unique offering. He shares his journey from separating his art from his speaking to integrating them, greatly enhancing his impact.
Avoiding the Comparison Game:
A significant portion of the discussion is devoted to strategies for avoiding the pitfalls of comparison, particularly in the context of social media, and focusing on our personal growth and contributions.
5 Quotes:
On Marketing Focus: "When you're fishing, you need to pick what kind of fish you're going for and then put a specific type of bait to catch that fish. And if a different fish jumps in your boat, you're allowed to eat it." – Jason Kotecki
On Serving Helpers: "Our message resonates the most with helpers... reminding people of why they do what they do, encourage them, inspire them, give them some tips for managing the burnout." – Jason Kotecki
On the Must Be Nice Syndrome: "Must be nice is a phrase we've all said... but if you actually dive deep into your 'must be nice,' you will be on that stage and people will be in the audience saying, 'must be nice to be him/her.'" – Jason Kotecki
On Talent Stacks: "Instead of being the best in the world at something, we just need to pair some complementary talents together and be in the top 20%." – Jason Kotecki
On Avoiding Comparison: "Don’t compare your everyday to someone else's highlight reel... remember, that’s what it is." – Jason Kotecki
Jason and Phil's conversation is a masterclass in looking beyond superficial comparisons to find and nurture our unique strengths. By focusing on helping others, leveraging our talents, and remembering that everyone's highlight reel is just a part of their story, we can create a fulfilling path for ourselves and make a genuine impact.
Call to Action:
Grab your copy of "Must Be Nice" to explore deeper insights and strategies shared by Jason Kotecki. Visit Escape Adulthood to learn more about Jason's work and how to bring more play and imagination into your life. Let's move beyond the compare game together.
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit happyaf.substack.com/subscribe
In this inspiring episode of the "Happy AF Show," host Phil Gerbyshak sits down with Jason Kotecki, an artist, author, and professional speaker known for his new book "Must Be Nice: Your Guide to Growing Beyond the Compare Game." They dive into a conversation full of insights, laughter, and practical advice on focusing your marketing efforts, the power of serving others, and overcoming the pitfalls of comparison.
Key Takeaways:
Focusing Your Marketing with a Fishing Analogy:
Jason shares valuable advice from the late Shan Stevenson on marketing: Focus on your target audience like selecting a specific fish to catch. However, be open to serendipitous opportunities, akin to "different fish jumping in your boat."
Serving the Helpers:
Targeting "helpers" in sectors like healthcare, education, and law enforcement, Jason discusses how his message helps manage burnout and encourages self-care, emphasizing service over compensation.
The Must Be Nice Syndrome:
The core of Jason's book and our conversation revolves around transcending the "must be nice" mindset, which stems from comparing ourselves to others’ highlights, and instead recognizing and leveraging our unique talents.
Integrating Talents to Stand Out:
Jason underscores the importance of combining skills (a talent stack) to create a unique offering. He shares his journey from separating his art from his speaking to integrating them, greatly enhancing his impact.
Avoiding the Comparison Game:
A significant portion of the discussion is devoted to strategies for avoiding the pitfalls of comparison, particularly in the context of social media, and focusing on our personal growth and contributions.
5 Quotes:
On Marketing Focus: "When you're fishing, you need to pick what kind of fish you're going for and then put a specific type of bait to catch that fish. And if a different fish jumps in your boat, you're allowed to eat it." – Jason Kotecki
On Serving Helpers: "Our message resonates the most with helpers... reminding people of why they do what they do, encourage them, inspire them, give them some tips for managing the burnout." – Jason Kotecki
On the Must Be Nice Syndrome: "Must be nice is a phrase we've all said... but if you actually dive deep into your 'must be nice,' you will be on that stage and people will be in the audience saying, 'must be nice to be him/her.'" – Jason Kotecki
On Talent Stacks: "Instead of being the best in the world at something, we just need to pair some complementary talents together and be in the top 20%." – Jason Kotecki
On Avoiding Comparison: "Don’t compare your everyday to someone else's highlight reel... remember, that’s what it is." – Jason Kotecki
Jason and Phil's conversation is a masterclass in looking beyond superficial comparisons to find and nurture our unique strengths. By focusing on helping others, leveraging our talents, and remembering that everyone's highlight reel is just a part of their story, we can create a fulfilling path for ourselves and make a genuine impact.
Call to Action:
Grab your copy of "Must Be Nice" to explore deeper insights and strategies shared by Jason Kotecki. Visit Escape Adulthood to learn more about Jason's work and how to bring more play and imagination into your life. Let's move beyond the compare game together.
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit happyaf.substack.com/subscribe
Previous Episode
The Practical Optimist with Ken Schmitt
Episode Overview
In this insightful episode, host Phil Gerbyshak has an engaging conversation with Ken Schmitt about his journey as an author and CEO. Ken shares his experiences, wisdom, and the valuable lessons he has learned in his professional life.
Key Topics Discussed
Building a Niche in Business: Ken discusses the importance of specializing and not trying to be all things to all people.
Influence of Mentorship: Ken credits his mentor, Ron Jervis, for shaping his business approach.
The Concept of a 'Practical Optimist': Ken explains how this approach blends methodical thinking with an optimistic outlook, influenced by his parents' contrasting personalities.
Incorporating Action Steps in Leadership: Ken emphasizes the importance of actionable advice in leadership.
Transparency and Vulnerability in Leadership: The significance of honest and open communication in building trust within a team.
Balancing Praise and Mentorship: Ken advises on the best practices for acknowledging success and providing constructive feedback.
Staying Connected in Leadership: The importance of maintaining connections in leadership, regardless of whether you are introverted or extroverted.
Practical Optimist Podcast: Ken shares insights into his podcast and its focus on leadership and practical optimism.
Learning from Mistakes: Ken openly shares his experiences with hiring challenges and the lessons learned.
Episode Conclusion
Ken's journey as an author and CEO is filled with practical wisdom and actionable advice for anyone aspiring to be a leader or an entrepreneur. His approach to balancing optimism with practicality offers a unique perspective on tackling professional challenges. Be sure to check out his book, "The Practical Optimist," for more in-depth insights.
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit happyaf.substack.com/subscribe
Next Episode
Bar Tips with Neil Rogers
In this exciting episode of The Sales Leadership Show, host Phil Gerbyshak sits down with Neil Rogers, a seasoned sales expert and author of the insightful book "Bar Tips." Neil shares his journey from bartending to becoming a sales guru, offering valuable lessons and wisdom along the way.
Key Highlights:
Neil's Best Sales Advice:
Neil recounts the best advice he received from Jimmy Gallagher in the late '80s: "Whenever anything goes wrong, start here: What was my role in this? How could I have done better?" This mindset encourages self-reflection and accountability, key traits for success in sales.
Transition from Bartending to Sales:
Neil discusses his early days, transitioning from bartending to sales. He emphasizes the importance of selling products that have a market and shares anecdotes from his time in the food and athletic footwear industries.
Importance of Teamwork in Sales:
Drawing parallels between bartending and sales, Neil stresses the significance of teamwork. He shares experiences from his time at TIA's in Boston, highlighting how collaboration and mutual support are crucial for success.
Knowledge as Power:
Neil touches upon the importance of product knowledge and market fit. He advises, "Know what you know, and don't BS. Be mature and acknowledge what you need to research."
Situational Awareness:
Reflecting on his bartending days, Neil shares insights on identifying key players in a group and adapting to different situations — a vital skill in sales.
Mindset Shift for Success:
Neil offers a mindset tip: Practice positivity and mindfulness. He suggests daily appreciation, meditation, and being proactive as ways to maintain a positive mindset.
Phil's Takeaway: Phil wraps up the show by highlighting the simplicity and impact of Neil's advice. He recommends Neil's book "Bar Tips" for straightforward, effective strategies in sales and personal growth.
Pull Quotes from Neil Rogers:
"Always start with reflecting on your own role in any situation. It's the key to learning and improving."
"In sales, just like in bartending, understanding your team and working well together makes all the difference."
"Product knowledge is crucial, but never at the expense of understanding your customer's needs."
"Situational awareness in sales is like reading a room in a bar — know who's who and adapt."
"A positive mindset is more than just feeling good; it's about being proactive and creating solutions."
Closing: Don't forget to check out Neil's book "Bar Tips" available at positiveactivity.net for more of his insightful sales strategies. Thanks for tuning in to The Sales Leadership Show with Phil Gerbyshak. Join us next time for more expert insights on sales and leadership!
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit happyaf.substack.com/subscribe
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