Medicine Song (Icaro): Breathe and Trust

03/11/22 • 5 min

Life has presented me this past week with an incredible amount of heartache and adversity after a very important partnership ended. I happened to be able to sit with Mother Ayahuasca Sunday evening, ever so synchronistically. After I released the overwhelming grief, I came to a place where I was completely untethered. No ground, no stability, nothing to grasp or hold on to. I have been here before in ceremony, but can tell myself it will pass and soon I will have grounding once the medicine wears off. This time I realized I have nothing to hold on to both in and out of ceremony. I was truly faced with the groundless ground. Terrified, I asked Mother Ayahuasca, "Where do I go? What do I do now? I am so lost." She whispered gently in my ear the clearest message I have ever heard, "Breathe and Trust." And so I did. Later in the ceremony I got the opportunity to sing to my teacher directly for a 1:1 energy clearing. I felt so grateful for him. For this powerful, incredible man who represents the Sacred Masculine, the dedication to uncovering truths, his purpose and most importantly, dedicating the merit of his work to all sentient beings. When I sang to him with the sound bowl by his head, I thanked him. For without his many years of work with the medicine, I wouldn't be here. I realized how powerful I am and how I need a partner who can hold a safe container for all my beauty, power and both my light and darkness. I called my King in. I can trust the flow of the universe. Life is flowing me to a more aligned path. The timing is impeccable. I am an unfolding tale, both the reader and the author. I am loved. I am never alone. I am a lighthouse, and a beacon of fire for this world to help people come back home to themselves. There is freedom in the untethering, there is freedom in the groundless ground, there is celebration in the totality of all that is. All I have to do is breathe and trust.
This Icaro (medicine song) is one I wrote this week. I don't often share my music because I don't think have the best voice. I know though that it isn't about how good or bad I think I am, it is about the message behind it. I feel like it is a very important message to share. Love you all, Colleen

Previous Episode

122 - The Void of Meaninglessness | Ayahuasca & the Dark Night of the Soul

My Ayahuasca path continues and it only reveals itself to be harder and harder with each ceremony and each Shamanic Plant Dieta. In this podcast I discuss the 3 journeys I had last weekend, which were all completed in less than 48 hours. It was an extremely intense weekend & the second ceremony I was thrusted into a void of meaninglessness, haunting loneliness and ultimately denigrated into a pool of nothingness. It was truly the dark night of the soul experience, a deep excavation of shadow parts within me and magnificent truths of the universe. During this podcast riff on realizations that came up as I am integrating this week of the universe and of myself. What is meaninglessness? What is meaning? What's the point of it all? What about the transcendence of meaning, is that possible? I try to answer these questions and more. Thank you for following my path! Much Love, Colleen

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Short Story: The Sacred Territory of Sorrow

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