Anger is a powerful signal that you or someone you value is in danger. But in our normal lives the sensations of rage we experience are false alarms - we aren't in real peril and we don't need to resort to extreme survival behaviors, such as violence.
Therapist Faith Harper (author of Unfuck Your Anger) explains why our bodies evolved this anger response, and how we can ride out the initial wave of rage and reduce the negative effects of anger on us and our relationships. She also shows that anger has its place in pushing us to find constructive ways to challenge bad things in the world around us.
WARNING: This episode contains some strong language.
You can find Faith's books at the link below.
https://microcosmpublishing.com/catalog/artist/faith-g-harper
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01/24/22 • 35 min
3 Listeners
The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos - How to be Angry Better
Transcript
Pushkin. Imagine that right now, you're driving a car, which, if you actually are driving a car, is probably an easy thing to conceptualize. But imagine you're in your car and you're stuck in bumper to bumper traffic. Your lane is ending soon, so you turn on your turn signal and try to merge, but car after car pretends just not to see you, and that's when the drivers behind you start honking their horns at you, like it's somehow your fault that n
How to be Angry Better Top Questions Answered
How does evolutionary psychology explain anger responses like road rage?
Evolutionary psychology suggests that anger responses like road rage can be explained by the instinct to defend those we need, as anger is a biological response for survival.
What is the AHEN acronym and how can it help understand anger?
The AHEN acronym stands for hurt, expectations, and needs. It helps understand underlying emotions behind anger by identifying the pain or hurt, unmet expectations, and unfulfilled needs that may be contributing to the anger.
How can therapy help with anger patterns?
Therapy can be beneficial in identifying and working with anger patterns by providing tools and strategies to manage and express anger in healthier ways.
What role do cultural narratives around anger and masculinity play in expressing emotions?
Cultural narratives around anger and masculinity can influence how individuals express emotions. Societal expectations often pressure men to suppress or channel anger in aggressive ways, impacting emotional expression.
What is the 90-second rule for dealing with anger and strong emotions?
The 90-second rule suggests that by paying attention to emotions and not reacting impulsively, individuals can allow the anger and strong emotions to dissipate.
How can breathing exercises help manage anger?
Breathing exercises can be a helpful tool in managing anger by promoting relaxation and calming the body's physiological response to anger.
How does the vagus nerve affect anger?
The vagus nerve, connected to all organs in the body, triggers the fight-flight-freeze response associated with anger. Soothing the vagus nerve through techniques like extended outbreaths or soothing behaviors can help calm the body.
Can neural pathways associated with anger be changed?
Yes, neural pathways associated with anger can be replaced with new pathways through practice and conscious effort, allowing individuals to respond to anger in a more regulated and productive manner.
How can recognizing patterns that trigger anger improve overall well-being?
Recognizing patterns that trigger anger allows individuals to change circumstances and environments, leading to improved overall well-being by reducing anger-inducing situations.
How does embracing sadness contribute to a happier way of living?
Embracing sadness and allowing ourselves to feel it can contribute to a happier way of living by promoting emotional authenticity and facilitating the processing and release of negative emotions.
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