Episode 139: Why Bother, What's the Point, and What To Do Next with Jennifer Louden

06/25/20 • 54 min

The Happier Approach: Quieting your High Functioning Anxiety

What’s the point?

Why bother?

Who cares?

It will never change...

Have you ever caught yourself uttering those words?

Perhaps you’ve said these to yourself when considering a career change or launching a creative project or even making a self-care plan. I know I have!

These questions can also be considered along the lines of what’s happening across the nation right now with social justice and equality.

Sometimes, we are so afraid of taking imperfect action and doing it wrong that we simply don’t bother at all. Instead, we stay stuck by not taking action at all and rehashing the ways we did it wrong in the past.

But we can do it differently.

We can take small, measured, imperfect action.

We can make progress toward desire.

Today’s guest, Jennifer Louden, is an expert in doing it differently. She is a personal growth pioneer and author of Why Bother?, helping readers discover the desire for what’s next in their lives. As an entrepreneur and educator, Jennifer has offered women’s retreats for over 25 years and reaches over 20,000 subscribers weekly.

Listen to the full episode to hear:

Why Jennifer was inspired to write the book, Why Bother?
How she realized that “holding her mistakes close” was actually holding her back
How our past—especially without family of origin—affects our current lives
Why it’s important to go beyond the idea that all of our creative endeavors must be useful or practical (and how that believe holds us back from trying new things)

Learn more about Jennifer:

JenniferLouden.com
Jennifer’s Book, Why Bother?
Instagram: @jenlouden
Facebook: Jennifer Louden

Learn more about Nancy:

Coach in You

Visit: https://NancyJaneSmith.com
Learn More About Self Loyalty School: https://selfloyaltyschool.com

What’s the point?

Why bother?

Who cares?

It will never change...

Have you ever caught yourself uttering those words?

Perhaps you’ve said these to yourself when considering a career change or launching a creative project or even making a self-care plan. I know I have!

These questions can also be considered along the lines of what’s happening across the nation right now with social justice and equality.

But we can do it differently.

We can take small, measured, imperfect action.

We can make progress toward desire.

Listen to the full episode to hear:

Why Jennifer was inspired to write the book, Why Bother?
How she realized that “holding her mistakes close” was actually holding her back
How our past—especially without family of origin—affects our current lives
Why it’s important to go beyond the idea that all of our creative endeavors must be useful or practical (and how that believe holds us back from trying new things)

Learn more about Jennifer:

JenniferLouden.com
Jennifer’s Book, Why Bother?
Instagram: @jenlouden
Facebook: Jennifer Louden

Learn more about Nancy:

Coach in You

Visit: https://NancyJaneSmith.com
Learn More About Self Loyalty School: https://selfloyaltyschool.com

Previous Episode

Episode 138: The Catch-22 Of "I Got This"

My Monger is always in my ear, saying: You got this.

And while, to some, “I got this” might sound like empowered thinking, when it’s coming from my Monger, it certainly is not.

Instead, it’s a clue that I’m on auto-pilot mode.

Here’s what I mean:

Recently, after a full day of work, I was making dinner for my husband and doing a load of laundry at the same time. Telling my husband to plate up, I rushed downstairs to “flip a load,” as I call it.

This is when my Monger started chiming in. “Hurry up!” it said. “You told your husband dinner was ready and now you’re downstairs messing with the laundry!”

And it struck me: I’d worked all day, cooked dinner, and now I was doing laundry—and my Monger was STILL going to shame me for not doing it fast enough?!

Good grief!

But stories like this are common for me. For years, I lived in that message. I call this the catch-22 of “I got this.”

Listen to the full episode to hear:

3 ways to avoid this endless spiral of “I got this” thinking
Why operating on autopilot is harmful—especially with high functioning anxiety
How our Monger distorts our perspective
And how that can affect our relationship with ourselves and with others

Links:

The Happier Approach Book

I’ve been working with women like you living with hidden anxiety every day for over 20 years as a coach and counselor.

I wrote The Happier Approach to give you a framework for dealing with your anxiety and start living happier.

The Happier Approach will help you understand the voices in your head and what to do with them. It’s not another woo-woo self-help book that asks you to think positively and live your best life. It’s a practical guidebook for getting out of survival mode and finding a genuinely happy and productive life.

Know someone who has High Functioning Anxiety and a VERY LOUD Monger, the Happier Approach makes a great gift.

Find The Happier Approach on

Visit: https://NancyJaneSmith.com
Learn More About Self Loyalty School: https://selfloyaltyschool.com

Next Episode

Episode 140: Why I Am Leaving Facebook

Hanging with a friend in the backyard.

Cooking dinner.

Relaxing with my husband.

Driving to pick up food and sitting at the traffic light.

During a conference call with a colleague.

Countless times throughout the day when I’m feeling uninspired, vigilant, or bored.

These are just a few of the times social media has infiltrated my life in the past few days.

Social media continually takes me away from the experiences and relationships I really value—over and over again.

The thing about social media is that it's supposed to make you feel more connected to people you care about... but ends up taking you away from the moments you spend with them.

That’s why I’m leaving social media.

Listen to the full episode to hear:

The thought process that went behind leaving social media for good
3 main reasons why I wanted to stay on social media (and what I realized)
The 2 rules I used to be more intentional and thoughtful about my decision to leave

Links:

Working with me using my Coach in Your Pocket is perfect for those spiraling up lessons. You have done therapy, you have learned your triggers, examined your past you know you are Spiraling up but your Monger and High Functioning Anxiety are still running the show. Helping people with High Functioning Anxiety is a personal mission for me. I have a special place in my heart for this struggle because it’s both something I dealt with unknowingly for years, and because it silently affects so many people who think this is just how it is.

But this isn't how it is.

There is hope if you struggle with High Functioning Anxiety

Visit: https://NancyJaneSmith.com
Learn More About Self Loyalty School: https://selfloyaltyschool.com