Episode 137: Redefining Self-Care and Reclaiming Sovereignty with Mara Glatzel

06/11/20 • 54 min

The Happier Approach: Quieting your High Functioning Anxiety

Which of these examples looks like a day of self-care for you?

A hike through the woods with your nearest and dearest and a picnic lunch.

A rambunctious night of games, drinks, and pizza with friends.

Sleeping in and having coffee in bed, followed by a granola bowl on the back deck.

A chance to read your new fiction book, some yard work, and a barbeque on the grill.

Canceling plans to go canoeing because you just don’t feel good and need to rest.

Staying in bed all day, watching movies.

We have a set definition of what self-care should look like. But the reality is that any and all of the above ideas can be self-care!

For those of us with High Functioning Anxiety, we struggle with self-care. I mean, soul-nourishing, true downtime, really-giving-back-to-ourselves kind of self-care.

And yet our lack of self-care keeps us stuck in over-functioning and a lack of self-loyalty.

Sound familiar?

That’s why this month we’re talking about what keeps you stuck and how self-care (and lack thereof!) is one of those things.

My guest today is Mara Glatzel, MSW, an intuitive coach, writer, and podcast host who helps perfectionists and people pleasers reclaim their sovereignty. She’s a queer, femme wife and mother of two, recovering control freak, and a human who deeply understands the impulse to relegate her needs to the bottom of a very long to-do list in an attempt to prove her worth.

Mara also teaches everything she knows about identifying, honoring, and advocating for your needs in her 9-month online program, Tend. You can access her free training Revive: Self-Care That Works, hang with her on Instagram, or tune in to her weekly podcast, Needy.

Listen to the full episode to hear:

Her tagline redefining self-care and reclaiming sovereignty and what that means to her
How to prioritize yourself when you have overly prioritized others
How self-accountability is an act of self-love
Why “needs” is such a bad word in our society and how she is reclaiming needs as a good thing

Learn more about Mara:

Visit: https://NancyJaneSmith.com
Learn More About Self Loyalty School: https://selfloyaltyschool.com

Which of these examples looks like a day of self-care for you?

A hike through the woods with your nearest and dearest and a picnic lunch.

A rambunctious night of games, drinks, and pizza with friends.

Sleeping in and having coffee in bed, followed by a granola bowl on the back deck.

A chance to read your new fiction book, some yard work, and a barbeque on the grill.

Canceling plans to go canoeing because you just don’t feel good and need to rest.

Staying in bed all day, watching movies.

We have a set definition of what self-care should look like. But the reality is that any and all of the above ideas can be self-care!

For those of us with High Functioning Anxiety, we struggle with self-care. I mean, soul-nourishing, true downtime, really-giving-back-to-ourselves kind of self-care.

And yet our lack of self-care keeps us stuck in over-functioning and a lack of self-loyalty.

Sound familiar?

That’s why this month we’re talking about what keeps you stuck and how self-care (and lack thereof!) is one of those things.

Listen to the full episode to hear:

Her tagline redefining self-care and reclaiming sovereignty and what that means to her
How to prioritize yourself when you have overly prioritized others
How self-accountability is an act of self-love
Why “needs” is such a bad word in our society and how she is reclaiming needs as a good thing

Learn more about Mara:

Visit: https://NancyJaneSmith.com
Learn More About Self Loyalty School: https://selfloyaltyschool.com

Previous Episode

Episode 136: Learning the Practice of Joy with Danielle Brooker

“You should be grateful,” they say.

“It isn’t that bad. I’m just whining,” you tell yourself.

“I shouldn’t be so negative. I have somuch to be positive about in my life.”

Man, oh, man! We really beat ourselves up for not being able to stick with positive thoughts all the time. The minute we start to feel negativity—like fear, anger, or doubt—we’re trained to step in with positivity.

Yet anger, sadness, and doubt have things to teach us. If we skip right over these “negative emotions,” we never get to experience life on a deeper level.

Today, I’m thrilled to talk with Danielle Brooker who helps busy, always-on women ditch stress and reclaim their joy. She owns The Daisy Patch, where she offers private coaching and group masterminds as well as digital courses. She also hosts the podcast, Let It Shine, and is a Forbes.com contributor.

In this episode, Danielle and I totally geek out about the differences between joy, happiness, and positive thinking. There is so much good stuff here and I can’t wait for you to hear it.

Listen to the full episode to hear:

What the difference is between joy and happiness
How joy and positive thinking work together yet how they are completely different
How you can be uncertain and feel really bad and at the same time experience joy
Why she refers to her online home as The Daisy Patch

Learn more about Danielle:

Learn more about Nancy:

Podcast Recommendations:

Visit: https://NancyJaneSmith.com
Learn More About Self Loyalty School: https://selfloyaltyschool.com

Next Episode

Episode 138: The Catch-22 Of "I Got This"

My Monger is always in my ear, saying: You got this.

And while, to some, “I got this” might sound like empowered thinking, when it’s coming from my Monger, it certainly is not.

Instead, it’s a clue that I’m on auto-pilot mode.

Here’s what I mean:

Recently, after a full day of work, I was making dinner for my husband and doing a load of laundry at the same time. Telling my husband to plate up, I rushed downstairs to “flip a load,” as I call it.

This is when my Monger started chiming in. “Hurry up!” it said. “You told your husband dinner was ready and now you’re downstairs messing with the laundry!”

And it struck me: I’d worked all day, cooked dinner, and now I was doing laundry—and my Monger was STILL going to shame me for not doing it fast enough?!

Good grief!

But stories like this are common for me. For years, I lived in that message. I call this the catch-22 of “I got this.”

Listen to the full episode to hear:

3 ways to avoid this endless spiral of “I got this” thinking
Why operating on autopilot is harmful—especially with high functioning anxiety
How our Monger distorts our perspective
And how that can affect our relationship with ourselves and with others

Links:

The Happier Approach Book

I’ve been working with women like you living with hidden anxiety every day for over 20 years as a coach and counselor.

I wrote The Happier Approach to give you a framework for dealing with your anxiety and start living happier.

The Happier Approach will help you understand the voices in your head and what to do with them. It’s not another woo-woo self-help book that asks you to think positively and live your best life. It’s a practical guidebook for getting out of survival mode and finding a genuinely happy and productive life.

Know someone who has High Functioning Anxiety and a VERY LOUD Monger, the Happier Approach makes a great gift.

Find The Happier Approach on

Visit: https://NancyJaneSmith.com
Learn More About Self Loyalty School: https://selfloyaltyschool.com