Laura Danger – That Darn Chat on saving your relationship

Explicit content warning

10/07/22 • 66 min

Laura Danger AKA That Darn Chat has amassed a massive 350k+ followers on TikTok and an Instagram account growing by thousands every week, creating videos about the mental load, with the strap line ‘Domestic labour is labour’. The reaction she gets shows that Laura’s is a voice people are wanting to hear from, and as one of Steph’s favourite topics, they get into it!

They discuss the wider impact on society of inequality at home, how writing lists isn’t the solution, and ask why women are ok in their own discomfort for everyone else’s comfort.

Steph asks Laura, if we’re asking men to do more, what’s in it for them? Steph and Laura also raise the massive question – if you do raise the mental load as an issue with your partner and they don’t respond in any way except negatively, where does that leave you?

Laura is a facilitator of the Fair Play Method; founded by Eve Rodsky, Fair Play is ‘a time and anxiety saving system that offers couples a completely new way to divvy up their domestic responsibilities’. Steph and Laura discuss how this is a huge change from what society has expected from women, but one that when ignored, is often leaving women resentful and ultimately jeopardising relationships. Laura’s aim it to equip women with the language and understanding to have difficult conversations.

This episode is sponsored by boutique mortgage and insurance broker Hudson Rose. Quote ‘Don’t Buy Flowers’ if you go to Hudson Rose for advice, and they will donate £50 to your local food bank.

Laura’s Instagram @thatdarnchat
Laura’s TikTok @thatdarnchat
The ‘What are you afraid of?’ clip discussed
Eve Rodsky’s Fair Play
Eve Rodsky explains ‘Conception, Planning and Execution’ of the Fair Play method on the Motherkind Podcast (9 minute clip)
Liz Plank ‘For the Love of Men’
Nedra Glover Tawwab ‘Set Boundaries, Find Peace’
Steph’s Instagram
Steph’s business Don’t Buy Her Flowers

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

They discuss the wider impact on society of inequality at home, how writing lists isn’t the solution, and ask why women are ok in their own discomfort for everyone else’s comfort.

Laura’s Instagram @thatdarnchat
Laura’s TikTok @thatdarnchat
The ‘What are you afraid of?’ clip discussed
Eve Rodsky’s Fair Play
Eve Rodsky explains ‘Conception, Planning and Execution’ of the Fair Play method on the Motherkind Podcast (9 minute clip)
Liz Plank ‘For the Love of Men’
Nedra Glover Tawwab ‘Set Boundaries, Find Peace’
Steph’s Instagram
Steph’s business Don’t Buy Her Flowers

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Previous Episode

Dating, Double Standards and Demanding More with Aileen Barratt

Aileen Barratt is the woman behind the hugely popular Instagram account Tinder Translators, where she translates the awful bios in dating apps to explain what they really mean. ‘Looking for fun’ means ‘looking for sex’, ‘girls that look after themselves’ means only thin women should apply, and we learn how to spot if a man is, in fact, married.

After sharing funny (dreadful) dating bios and stories, Steph and Aileen get into what these profiles say about how some men treat women, but also ask why women don’t expect more for themselves. They discuss the impact of growing up in the 90s, when they may have thought they had Girl Power, but realise now that they really just wanted the approval of men.

They also talk about what happens when women start to realise they are full human beings, with all the emotions, that they deserve to take up space and how that might impact their relationships.

Thank you to our sponsors Hudson Rose, the boutique mortgage and insurance brokerage who are doing things a bit differently and putting bespoke customer service at the heart of all that they do.

Aileen’s Instagram Tinder Translator
Aileen’s Book Tinder Translator: An AZ of Modern Misogyny
Psychology Today article ‘The Rise of Lonely, Single Men’ by Greg Matos
Laura Bates book Men Who Hate Women
How to Recognise Coercive Control
Steph’s Instagram

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Next Episode

Navigating your relationship after a baby with Zara Arshad

Steph speaks with Psychotherapist Zara Arshad about what is really going on for couples after a baby arrives – the common feelings of anger, disappointment, resentment, loneliness, and feeling underappreciated. From her own experience, Steph found it tough and was also surprised to feel this way as no one had really mentioned it prior to having a baby.

Zara specialises in couples and new parents improving communication, and helping people in relationships during what is a tricky time. They discuss the most common issues that couples go to Zara with, a predominant one being anger. Zara explains the core reasons behind that anger and ways couples can voice how they’re feeling in a more productive way (ie not ‘You are useless and I hate you! Apparently that doesn’t work). Zara provides advice on ways couples can prepare before the baby arrives, managing expectations of each other, and how to communicate better.

Look out for updates on Zara’s soon to be available book ‘Stronger together: A couple’s guide to navigating your relationship after baby’

For more chat about relationships on the Don’t Buy Her Flowers Podcast, listen to Steph’s conversations with Matt Fray, Karen Gurney, Laura Danger and Aileen Barratt.