Brainspotting with Lauren Worley, LCSW
Explicit content warning
10/16/23 • 49 min
-What is brainspotting and how can it be used to treat codependency?
-How can brainspotting help us move beyond our self-conscious thoughts, especially in therapy?
-Why is it important to incorporate somatic (body) and subcortical (brain) processing in our healing work?
Welcome to Episode 148! This week, I sat down with Lauren Worley, LCSW, to talk all about b r a i n s p o t t i n g. You’ll hear Lauren educate us on what brainspotting is, how it can treat codependency, and what makes it so unique and different compared to other forms of psychotherapy. Lauren describes the process of brainspotting that she takes with her codependent patients and how it can help them move beyond the people-pleasing, self-consciousness, and lack of boundaries that unfortunately come up in the therapy room. We conclude by hearing Lauren’s observations on how brainspotting has truly helped her codependent patients. It’s a must-listen!
Links for the show:
Sign up for the newsletter to receive all things codependummy: https://keap.app/contact-us/2302598426037497
Journal! The Confiding Codependummy: 30 Days of Journaling Prompts for a Less-Codependent and More-Conscious YOU for just $1 a day. www.codependummy.com/toolsforhealing
FREEBIE! The Self-Validation Challenge: Learn to validate your GD self: www.codependummy.com/challenge
Money! Funds! Help support the show via a one-time donation via secure Paypal link: https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=RJ3PSNZ4AF7QC
Work with me! Email [email protected] to inquire about psychotherapy, coaching, or coming on the show!
More on this week’s guest:
Lauren Worley, LCSW, is a mental health therapist located in La Crescenta, CA. She is passionate about using Brainspotting to help clients who are stuck in a talk therapy rut. She works with youth and young adults, many who are exploring who they might be in terms of gender, sexuality, and life and career paths. She runs a group practice and has two associates who specialize in couples therapy and sports performance.
www.foothillspsychotherapy.com
More deets on the episode:
We begin with hearing Lauren’s definition of codependency: an imbalanced dependency that can occur in couples, platonic relationships, professional relationships, etc. Codependents often control others because they have no trust in others. Behaviors include people-pleasing, taking care of others, lacking trust, and being hurt or disappointed when their care is not reciprocated.
Lauren opens up about codependency in her own life where she found herself “being in charge” of her children’s extracurriculars, activities, and scheduling since she did not trust her husband to take care of it. Can you relate?! She admits she was not able to trust him with small tasks and is now making an effort not to parent him nor be in charge.
We shift gears to Lauren’s specialty: brainspotting! She describes the history of brainspotting and it’s connection to EMDR. “Where you look affects how you feel.” Brain spots are defined as where you stare off which can be related to deep trauma. The processing is both somatic and subcortical with an emphasis that the patient knows how to heal themself.
We explore how brainspotting can help treat codependency, including help with boundary-setting, building trust with one self, and processing past events/memories. Lauren is able to work with her patients to identify a gaze spot, a memory, and help them revisit their emotions through their bodies in order to come to more empowering conclusions.
Lauren shares about what is unique and different about brainspotting: one can process memories and past trauma faster; one can let go of people-pleasing and self-consciousness in session since it is a subcortical process; patients often experience deeper and newer insights.
With her new patients, Lauren helps them identify what they want to heal from (front loading), going through the activation process to target past memories, and gain more awareness of where they experience their strong emotional responses in their body. She’s heard from multiple patients who have reported “I responded differently than I did before,” “I was calm when I responded,” and different approaches to previous triggers. Amazing!
Thanks for coming on Lauren! And thank you for listening, my dear listener!
PLEASE:
Rate.
Review.
Subscribe.
Share.
We need more ratings on Spotify! TY!
-The Self-Validation Challenge - free 30-day guide to prov...
-What is brainspotting and how can it be used to treat codependency?
-How can brainspotting help us move beyond our self-conscious thoughts, especially in therapy?
-Why is it important to incorporate somatic (body) and subcortical (brain) processing in our healing work?
Welcome to Episode 148! This week, I sat down with Lauren Worley, LCSW, to talk all about b r a i n s p o t t i n g. You’ll hear Lauren educate us on what brainspotting is, how it can treat codependency, and what makes it so unique and different compared to other forms of psychotherapy. Lauren describes the process of brainspotting that she takes with her codependent patients and how it can help them move beyond the people-pleasing, self-consciousness, and lack of boundaries that unfortunately come up in the therapy room. We conclude by hearing Lauren’s observations on how brainspotting has truly helped her codependent patients. It’s a must-listen!
Links for the show:
Sign up for the newsletter to receive all things codependummy: https://keap.app/contact-us/2302598426037497
Journal! The Confiding Codependummy: 30 Days of Journaling Prompts for a Less-Codependent and More-Conscious YOU for just $1 a day. www.codependummy.com/toolsforhealing
FREEBIE! The Self-Validation Challenge: Learn to validate your GD self: www.codependummy.com/challenge
Money! Funds! Help support the show via a one-time donation via secure Paypal link: https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=RJ3PSNZ4AF7QC
Work with me! Email [email protected] to inquire about psychotherapy, coaching, or coming on the show!
More on this week’s guest:
Lauren Worley, LCSW, is a mental health therapist located in La Crescenta, CA. She is passionate about using Brainspotting to help clients who are stuck in a talk therapy rut. She works with youth and young adults, many who are exploring who they might be in terms of gender, sexuality, and life and career paths. She runs a group practice and has two associates who specialize in couples therapy and sports performance.
www.foothillspsychotherapy.com
More deets on the episode:
We begin with hearing Lauren’s definition of codependency: an imbalanced dependency that can occur in couples, platonic relationships, professional relationships, etc. Codependents often control others because they have no trust in others. Behaviors include people-pleasing, taking care of others, lacking trust, and being hurt or disappointed when their care is not reciprocated.
Lauren opens up about codependency in her own life where she found herself “being in charge” of her children’s extracurriculars, activities, and scheduling since she did not trust her husband to take care of it. Can you relate?! She admits she was not able to trust him with small tasks and is now making an effort not to parent him nor be in charge.
We shift gears to Lauren’s specialty: brainspotting! She describes the history of brainspotting and it’s connection to EMDR. “Where you look affects how you feel.” Brain spots are defined as where you stare off which can be related to deep trauma. The processing is both somatic and subcortical with an emphasis that the patient knows how to heal themself.
We explore how brainspotting can help treat codependency, including help with boundary-setting, building trust with one self, and processing past events/memories. Lauren is able to work with her patients to identify a gaze spot, a memory, and help them revisit their emotions through their bodies in order to come to more empowering conclusions.
Lauren shares about what is unique and different about brainspotting: one can process memories and past trauma faster; one can let go of people-pleasing and self-consciousness in session since it is a subcortical process; patients often experience deeper and newer insights.
With her new patients, Lauren helps them identify what they want to heal from (front loading), going through the activation process to target past memories, and gain more awareness of where they experience their strong emotional responses in their body. She’s heard from multiple patients who have reported “I responded differently than I did before,” “I was calm when I responded,” and different approaches to previous triggers. Amazing!
Thanks for coming on Lauren! And thank you for listening, my dear listener!
PLEASE:
Rate.
Review.
Subscribe.
Share.
We need more ratings on Spotify! TY!
-The Self-Validation Challenge - free 30-day guide to prov...
Previous Episode
Internal and External Boundaries with Karen McMahon
-What are and what aren’t boundaries?
-How come the energy that boundaries are derived from (e.g., from a place of fear or love) is so important?
-What can you do to set and maintain your internal and external boundaries?
Welcome to Episode 147! This week, Karen McMahon is back to educate us all about boundaries! Karen shares with us what boundaries are and what they are not! We also hear about the distinction between internal and external boundaries then learn how to set AND maintain them. Karen shares about how and why the energy we set our boundaries from (e.g., from the energy of fear or love) is so important when it comes to setting authentic boundaries. We conclude with the initial steps Karen takes with her coaching clients to help them get clear on what they need, where their emotions are coming from, and how to channel that into setting healthy and sustainable boundaries. It’s a must-listen!
Links for the show:
Sign up for the newsletter to receive all things codependummy: https://keap.app/contact-us/2302598426037497
Journal! The Confiding Codependummy: 30 Days of Journaling Prompts for a Less-Codependent and More-Conscious YOU for just $1 a day. www.codependummy.com/toolsforhealing
FREEBIE! The Self-Validation Challenge: Learn to validate your GD self: www.codependummy.com/challenge
Money! Funds! Help support the show via a one-time donation via secure Paypal link: https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=RJ3PSNZ4AF7QC
Work with me! Email [email protected] to inquire about psychotherapy, coaching, or coming on the show!
More on thise week’s guest:
Karen McMahon is Certified Relationship and Divorce Coach and Founder of Journey Beyond Divorce. Karen leads a national team of divorce coaches in supporting men and women around the world to become calm, clear and confident as they navigate divorce. Karen is the host of the acclaimed Journey Beyond Divorce Podcast, co-author of ‘Stepping out of Chaos: Turning Pain to Possibility”, creator of JBD’s exclusive Accelerated Divorce Recovery Program.
You can find Karen’s first interview on the podcast focused on Codependency and Divorce which aired in February 2022: https://codependummy.com/codependency-in-divorcees-with-karen-mcmohan-certified-divorce-coach/
Karen’s free quiz: https://www.jbddivorcesupport.com/relationshiphealthquiz
https://www.jbddivorcesupport.com/
https://www.instagram.com/journey_beyond_divorce/
https://www.facebook.com/journeybeyonddivorce/
More deets on the episode:
We revisit Karen’s definition of codependency and hear her add about the importance of the emotional energy underneath our behavior. Karen describes how codependency is often rooted in victim and conflict energy whereas, on our healing journy, we move towards energy of personal responsibility and compassion. When we are codependent, we abandon ourselves out of fear of something or a desire to gain something.
Karen opens up about two recent experiences related to her codependency. In the first anecdote, she was accused of being codependnet with her adult children while she was grieving the loss of her mother. Karen went to therapy and was able to get clear with herself that it was not coming from a codependent place, but rather, a place of compassion and service for her children. In her second example, Karen noticed she was being codependent with her pets! She noticed herself wondering whether she was doing right by them, realized what she was doing, and laughed it off.
We shift gears to Karen’s expertise with boundaries. What are boundaries according to Karen? Boundaries are derived from freedom, responsibility, and love. They are a paradigm, a skill, and like a fence around a yard that establishes one’s space but has a gate that let’s people in and out.
Karen contrasts what boundaries are with what they are not: they are not a way to control people, they do not require strict adherence from others, they are not ultimatums, they cannot be used to change another’s behavior, and they cannot be weaponized/punitize/penalize others. I ask Karen why she believes we codependents often warp boundaries into attempts to control others. Karen revisits her emphasis on the energy from whic...
Next Episode
Codependency in 12-Step Programs with Natalie Friedman, LMFT
-What does codependency look like in 12-step programs (even in Codependents Anonymous)?
-What are common vulnerabilities of codependents in 12-step programs?
-How can codependents avoid their common pitfalls in 12-step programs to get the most out of them?
Welcome to Episode 149! This week, Natalie Friedman is back to discuss codependency in 12-step programs. You’ll hear about the history of 12-step programs and how the principles that helped alcoholics get sober also helped their loved ones with their relationships. Natalie describes what codependency looks like in 12-step programs and how members can be vulnerable to codependency due to an emphasis on giving service, helping others, etc. We conclude with suggestions from Natalie on how codependents can participate in 12-step programs while avoiding our common pitfalls like people-pleasing, self-sacrifice, and poor boundaries. It’s a must-listen!
Links for the show:
Sign up for the newsletter to receive all things codependummy: https://keap.app/contact-us/2302598426037497
Journal! The Confiding Codependummy: 30 Days of Journaling Prompts for a Less-Codependent and More-Conscious YOU for just $1 a day. www.codependummy.com/toolsforhealing
FREEBIE! The Self-Validation Challenge: Learn to validate your GD self: www.codependummy.com/challenge
Money! Funds! Help support the show via a one-time donation via secure Paypal link: https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=RJ3PSNZ4AF7QC
Work with me! Email [email protected] to inquire about psychotherapy, coaching, or coming on the show!
More on this week’s guest:
Natalie Friedman is a licensed marriage family therapist in private practice in Santa Monica CA. She has been in practice for about 10 years and is currently seeing people online and in person (prefers in person). Natalie loves working with highly sensitive folks who grew up in addicted/dysfunctional families.
Natalie’s initial interview on the podcast: https://codependummy.com/addicted-and-dysfunctional-families-with-natalie-friedman-lmft/
More deets on this week’s episode:
We revisit Natalie’s definition of codependency and she adds what she’s found on Google: that it is described as a pattern, a condition, a set of behaviors, and an addiction.
Natalie opens up about her codependent relationship with her mother, reflecting how “we were too close.” She shares how she merged her identity with her mother, was always about to “save” her mother, and felt she was the best caretaker/loyal daughter/needs-anticipator for her mom.
We shift focus to codependency in 12-step programs. Natlaie provides some history on Alcoholics Anonymous and how a program for the loved ones of alcoholics, known as Al-Anon, began soon after since there was a recognition that they needed help too. In AA, alcoholics are powerless over alcohol, while in Al-Anon, members are powerless over people.
Natalie describes what codependency can look like in 12-step meetings: people-pleasing, self-sacrifice, a need to control, and having high expectations from the program. She discusses the vulnerability of participants in these programs since they are often newly sober, emotionally raw, and susceptible due to their fragile state. This can lead to over-helping, strict adherence to the principles, and neglecting other areas of one’s life.
Without addressing codependency in 12-step programs, participants are likely to end up feeling out of control, lost, frustrated, resentful, and dissatisfied in their relationships. In order to avoid these pitfalls, Natalie suggests practicing awareness, starting to read about the program (books like Melody Beattie’s Codependent No More), and putting language to what is happening.
Thanks for coming on Natalie! And thank you for being here, dear listener!
PLEASE:
Rate.
Review.
Subscribe.
Share.
We need more ratings on Spotify! TY!
-The Self-Validation Challenge - free 30-day guide to providing yourself with all the validation you seek: www.codependummy.com/challenge
-Get your copy of the Confiding Codependummy: 30 days of journaling prompts for a less-codependent and more-conscious you! www.codependummy.com/toolsforhealing
-If you are wanting to dive into your codependency ...
If you like this episode you’ll love
Episode Comments
Generate a badge
Get a badge for your website that links back to this episode
<a href="https://goodpods.com/podcasts/the-codependummy-podcast-204598/brainspotting-with-lauren-worley-lcsw-34959225"> <img src="https://storage.googleapis.com/goodpods-images-bucket/badges/generic-badge-1.svg" alt="listen to brainspotting with lauren worley, lcsw on goodpods" style="width: 225px" /> </a>
Copy