Pruning Your Caregiver Challenges and Overwhelm

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03/16/21 • 13 min

2 Listeners

The Caregiver Cup Podcast

Send Cathy a text:)

This week I started my Spring gardening prep. I can’t clean out the leaves and debris yet until it gets warmer since the bees, butterflies and other little insects are trying to stay warm yet. But it’s time to prune the bushes and trees.

My husband just rolls his eyes and goes along with my gardening passion. If it was up to him, we would just leave it. But I want the plants and trees needs just a bit of help to show their beauty.

Here’s the definition: Pruning removes dead and dying branches and stubs, allowing room for new growth and protecting your property and passerby from damage. It also deters pest and animal infestation and promotes the plant's natural shape and healthy growth.

It’s also a reminder that we can do our own personal pruning too.

Can you prune back those dead or dying branches? What are those for you?
Pruning allows room for new growth. When you release those bad habits, bad thoughts, and accept your new reality, you will allow for those buds, blossoms and new growth.
How are you allowing for new growth?
Pruning protects your property - yourself. When you pivot your mindset, set healthy boundaries and manage your new normal, you are starting to take care of yourself.
- You can’t expect that beautiful crab apple tree to blossom every spring into this beautiful tree if you don’t trim it back, cut off the dead branches, fertilize it and water it. Same goes for you.
  - Close your eyes and envision your best self. What does she look like? What does she sound like? What does she feel like?
  - What is your pruning plan for you?
NOTE: The tree can’t prune itself. But with a little help, it will start to become healthier and soon will blossom.
- As a coach and if you came to me I would ask you what needs pruning?
- Then we would break down each one.
  - If you were lonely, we would look at ways to improve that. IE: chat with a friend, joining a community, planning a date or girl night out.
  - If you feel stretched, we need to look at the situation and figure out how to get more help or let go of things.
  - If you are exhausted, we need to really figure out what the root cause of your exhaustion is and then you can start working on ways to improve it.

If you want to check out my coaching, go to cathylvan.com/coaching. It's a FREE 30 minute session. That way you can decide if this is a good fit for you.

As caregivers, you and I think we have to take it all on. Think about what you do. ( IE: I am a caregiver, a consultant for a fortune 100 company, a business owner, a mom, a daughter, a wife) You get the picture.

You can’t leave caregiving but YOU CAN find joy in your journey. You can control your situation. You can think like a manager and figure it out.

I want to leave you with a quote from Florence Littauer, The purpose of pruning is to improve the quality of the roses, no to hurt the bush"

Support the show

💌 Want more inspiration, information, and a deeper connection? Join the Caregiver Cup Community Newsletter for my weekly email filled with support and encouragement.

Get my free resource: 17 Shifts To Reduce CAREGIVER STRESS & Say Good-bye To CAREGIVER BURNOUT

Send Cathy a text:)

My husband just rolls his eyes and goes along with my gardening passion. If it was up to him, we would just leave it. But I want the plants and trees needs just a bit of help to show their beauty.

It’s also a reminder that we can do our own personal pruning too.

Can you prune back those dead or dying branches? What are those for you?
Pruning allows room for new growth. When you release those bad habits, bad thoughts, and accept your new reality, you will allow for those buds, blossoms and new growth.
How are you allowing for new growth?
Pruning protects your property - yourself. When you pivot your mindset, set healthy boundaries and manage your new normal, you are starting to take care of yourself.
- You can’t expect that beautiful crab apple tree to blossom every spring into this beautiful tree if you don’t trim it back, cut off the dead branches, fertilize it and water it. Same goes for you.
  - Close your eyes and envision your best self. What does she look like? What does she sound like? What does she feel like?
  - What is your pruning plan for you?
NOTE: The tree can’t prune itself. But with a little help, it will start to become healthier and soon will blossom.
- As a coach and if you came to me I would ask you what needs pruning?
- Then we would break down each one.
  - If you were lonely, we would look at ways to improve that. IE: chat with a friend, joining a community, planning a date or girl night out.
  - If you feel stretched, we need to look at the situation and figure out how to get more help or let go of things.
  - If you are exhausted, we need to really figure out what the root cause of your exhaustion is and then you can start working on ways to improve it.

If you want to check out my coaching, go to cathylvan.com/coaching. It's a FREE 30 minute session. That way you can decide if this is a good fit for you.

You can’t leave caregiving but YOU CAN find joy in your journey. You can control your situation. You can think like a manager and figure it out.

I want to leave you with a quote from Florence Littauer, The purpose of pruning is to improve the quality of the roses, no to hurt the bush"

Support the show

💌 Want more inspiration, information, and a deeper connection? Join the Caregiver Cup Community Newsletter for my weekly email filled with support and encouragement.

Get my free resource: 17 Shifts To Reduce CAREGIVER STRESS & Say Good-bye To CAREGIVER BURNOUT

Previous Episode

What are the impacts of a Nostalgic Caregiver?

2 Recommendations

Send Cathy a text:)

The Nostalgic Caregiver looks at their Loved One remembering those special past experiences and memories. You desire to return to an earlier time in life by wishing things were back the way they were.

While few caregivers voice their sentiments for fear of how others will receive it. I believe that most caregivers do have this fleeting thought at some point during their journey.

Qualities of a Nostalgic Caregiver

Nostalgia has a tendency to be like a natural sedative. With each memory it provides an escape and longing to go back to these past experiences and a desire to hold each moment close. While nostalgia can provide a warm memory in occasional moments. Repeated patterns can lead to not accepting your reality.

Nostalgic Caregivers are:

Reminiscers.
Positive Thinkers.
Triggered by sensory stimuli.
Story Tellers

As your loved one is suffering, you might find peace and joy in your memories and stories. On those tough days, hold those stories close and it can provide you with your purpose or reason in life right now.

What are the impacts of Nostalgia

Nostalgia can be a good and a bad thing. The good comes from those wonderful memories that keep you going and reinforces why you care so passionately for your Loved One. But it can also be a bad thing because you spend more time yearning for those past days and not wanting to face reality. Here are the impacts of Nostalgia:

Depression
Frustration
Loneliness
Grief
Denial
Worry
Caregiver Stress

It's important you recognize and watch for signs of Caregiver Overwhelm during this time of change and adjustment. Some of the early signs are:

becoming irritated or angry
feeling overwhelmed or constantly worried
noticing health issues like high blood pressure, heart palpitations, headaches, body pain or more
difficulty sleeping
trouble concentrating

It starts with:

letting go of your guilty feelings and remember that you can have bad thoughts and still be a good caregiver.
stepping outside of your perspective and separate your thoughts. This will reduce your anxiety and stress.
being open to not being perfect and learn what works for you.
knowing you'll figure it out and allow yourself time to adjust.
appreciating the joy in your new normal.
getting help you need to adjust to your new normal.

Support the show

💌 Want more inspiration, information, and a deeper connection? Join the Caregiver Cup Community Newsletter for my weekly email filled with support and encouragement.

Get my free resource: 17 Shifts To Reduce CAREGIVER STRESS & Say Good-bye To CAREGIVER BURNOUT

Next Episode

Take 20 to improve your caregiver day 🚴‍♀️

Send Cathy a text:)

Are you burning out?
Are you exhausted, fatigued, or just plain tired?
What’s your stress level?
What about your anxiety level?
Are you sad or depressed?

How do you feel about your health? Are you taking care of yourself? Are you losing weight? Or are you gaining weight?

These are just a few symptoms of caregiver stress and caregiver burnout?

I want to talk today about the ONE thing you can do. The ONE thing you can take control of.

I'm here to give you some tough love and hard talk.

It’s time . Let me say it again. It’s time. Time to move!

I'm here to tell you that you have to move.

You have to even if you don’t feel like it. Even if you're tired. Even if you don’t think you have time.

Start small - just 20 minutes a day is all you need. Or even if it’s 15 minutes.

A study from Harvard says: “Exercising as little as 15 minutes of physical activity a day can increase your life span by 3 years."

Here’s another stat from caregiver.org and the Family Caregiver Alliance: 35% of female caregivers report high levels of stress. Those symptoms go from headaches to high blood pressure to weight gain.

Think of movement and exercise as an outlet. A place to go to recharge, think and take care of yourself

Let me share my story.

Pre-caregiving, I was very active. I went to the gym 5-6 days a week. Prior to my Dad and Spouse getting their cancer diagnosis in Sept 2017, I was training for my 9th half marathon.

It was a habit and routine I stuck with since I felt better. I watched what I ate. Don’t get me wrong, there were days I didn’t want to get up and move my body. But when I did, I was happier.

Then Sept 2017 came and I thought I didn’t have time. I told myself I was too tired.

By Summer of 2019, I was 30 pounds heavier. I had digestive issues and was clinically depressed. I looked in the mirror at me and decided enough was enough.

I knew I had to move each day. It was hard to start again. I knew what to do but breaking the caregiver life routine without exercise was harder than I could ever imagine.

But I'm working on moving 20 minutes each day. Even with the pandemic, I knew I could still move.

What about you? Can you find just 20 minutes each day? YOU Can. You have to!!! It’s just 20.

Let’s talk about what you and I can do in these 20 minutes. It has to be fun or you won’t stay with it. So if you hate running - don’t run. But if you don’t mind walking - walk.

Walk - make it fun by putting on your ear buds and listening to your favorite music or a podcast. Walk with a friend. Take the dog for a walk. Find a trail or window shop downtown
Bike - Last summer I would schedule my break time and go for a bike ride.
Yoga
Dancing
Elliptical / Treadmill
Weights / bands
Vaccuuming
Gardening

It’s just about getting your heart rate up which then can lower your stress, anxiety and improve your mood

Join me this week LIVE on Facebook or Instagram th

Support the show

💌 Want more inspiration, information, and a deeper connection? Join the Caregiver Cup Community Newsletter for my weekly email filled with support and encouragement.

Get my free resource: 17 Shifts To Reduce CAREGIVER STRESS & Say Good-bye To CAREGIVER BURNOUT