The Caregiver Cup Podcast

Send Cathy a text:)

The Nostalgic Caregiver looks at their Loved One remembering those special past experiences and memories. You desire to return to an earlier time in life by wishing things were back the way they were.

While few caregivers voice their sentiments for fear of how others will receive it. I believe that most caregivers do have this fleeting thought at some point during their journey.

Qualities of a Nostalgic Caregiver

Nostalgia has a tendency to be like a natural sedative. With each memory it provides an escape and longing to go back to these past experiences and a desire to hold each moment close. While nostalgia can provide a warm memory in occasional moments. Repeated patterns can lead to not accepting your reality.

Nostalgic Caregivers are:

• Reminiscers.
• Positive Thinkers.
• Triggered by sensory stimuli.
• Story Tellers

As your loved one is suffering, you might find peace and joy in your memories and stories. On those tough days, hold those stories close and it can provide you with your purpose or reason in life right now.

What are the impacts of Nostalgia

Nostalgia can be a good and a bad thing. The good comes from those wonderful memories that keep you going and reinforces why you care so passionately for your Loved One. But it can also be a bad thing because you spend more time yearning for those past days and not wanting to face reality. Here are the impacts of Nostalgia:

• Depression
• Frustration
• Loneliness
• Grief
• Denial
• Worry
• Caregiver Stress

It's important you recognize and watch for signs of Caregiver Overwhelm during this time of change and adjustment. Some of the early signs are:

• becoming irritated or angry
• feeling overwhelmed or constantly worried
• noticing health issues like high blood pressure, heart palpitations, headaches, body pain or more
• difficulty sleeping
• trouble concentrating

It starts with:

• letting go of your guilty feelings and remember that you can have bad thoughts and still be a good caregiver.
• stepping outside of your perspective and separate your thoughts. This will reduce your anxiety and stress.
• being open to not being perfect and learn what works for you.
• knowing you'll figure it out and allow yourself time to adjust.
• appreciating the joy in your new normal.
• getting help you need to adjust to your new normal.

Support the show

Thank you for listening. If you know of another caregiver who could benefit from this podcast, please copy and share this episode.
Follow me by clicking on the links below:

• ➡️ Get my free resource: 17 SHIFTS TO RECUDE CAREGIVER STRESS & SAY GOOD-BYE TO CAREGIVER BURNOUT
• If you're interested in 1:1 Coaching ➡️ schedule a 30 minute FREE chat
• CONNECT WITH CATHY ON INSTAGRAM @cathylynnvan for daily tips and inspiration

Send Cathy a text:)

Let me get real honest & raw with you. This podcast was hard to prepare for and it’s even harder to share. It's all about people pleasing. Why you say? I'm a people pleaser.

Are you saying, Yes. Or are you saying No, I'm not a people pleaser.

• We all have people pleasing tendencies
• People pleasing isn’t all bad
• But, people pleasing can lead to stress and burnout especially if you are a caregiver.

Before we deep dive into this topic, I have something really excited to share with you! It’s a Quiz about caregiving with very, very informative results. It’s called What’s your Caregiver Style? You can take this FREE quiz at https://www.tryinteract.com/share/quiz/5ffd018f17706f00164e6383. It takes less than 3 minutes & you'll get very in-depth & informative results to help you think through your caregiver responsibilities.

Let’s now dig into People Pleasing.

As a caregiver, your Loved One is your top priority. You open your heart, soul & energy to go beyond simple kindness to give to them everything they need & want.

Pleasing might not sound all that bad. After all, what’s wrong with loving & being nice to your Loved One & making them happy? You do whatever it takes meaning you make sacrifices with little to no complaints.

You go out of your way to do things for them based on what you assume they want & need. You give up your time & energy.

The urge to please them can be rewarding to you, but also damaging to you. The wants of your Love One are more important than your own needs as well as other relationships.

Many people-pleasers confuse pleasing people with kindness. When discussing their reluctance to turn down someone’s request for a favor, they say things like, “I don’t want to be selfish,” or “I just want to be a good person.” Consequently, they allow others to take advantage of them.

Here are some tell tale signs of pleasing:

• You have a low opinion of yourself
• You need others to like you
• Please pleasers find it hard to say no
• You apologize or accept fault when you aren’t to blame
• You’re quick to agree, even when you don’t really agree
• You struggle with authenticity
• You’re a giver
• You don’t have any free time
• Argument and conflicts upset you

What are the affects of pleasing?

Pleasing isn’t inherently negative. Part of having relationships with others involves taking their wants, needs, & feelings into account. These tendencies can often come from a place of concern or affection.

Trying to earn the regard of others usually means you neglect your own needs and feelings. In a way, you’re putting on an act. You’re doing what you think people want so they like you. You might only pretend to enjoy helping, since this is part of keeping your Loved One happy.

This isn’t exactly honest, & eventually people-ple

Support the show

Thank you for listening. If you know of another caregiver who could benefit from this podcast, please copy and share this episode.
Follow me by clicking on the links below:

• ➡️ Get my free resource: 17 SHIFTS TO RECUDE CAREGIVER STRESS & SAY GOOD-BYE TO CAREGIVER BURNOUT
• If you're interested in 1:1 Coaching ➡️ schedule a 30 minute FREE chat
• CONNECT WITH CATHY ON INSTAGRAM @cathylynnvan for daily tips and inspiration

Send Cathy a text:)

Today's episode is all about you and your overwhelm. The true facts about how this stress, anxiety, burnout and fatigue creep up on you and before you know it, you are in the thick of it and don’t know what to do.

When I first became a caregiver, I let the adrenaline drive me through the overwhelm. When that faded, I let my mind and body do the work. Well looking back, I now see the 3 stages of overwhelm I went through and it’s toll it took on myself, my Loved One, my friendships and more.

That’s why over the last month, I sat down and really did some digging into this subject. I researched 100s of articles, interviewed caregivers and fead all my journal entries, text messages, facebook post on where I was at.

So today, I want to highlight the 3 stages of caregiver overwhelm - the whats, the why, the hows and more. You can find the entire resource at cathylvan.com/caregiverstress

1. Caregiver Stress
2. Caregiver Burnout
3. Compassion Fatigue

Overwhelm for you and I as Caregivers is Reality. It’s hard, It sucks but it can be a joyful and rewarding experience. So when you run over that nail or screw, think about how you want to fix it vs just putting air in your tire. Get in front of your overwhelm by seeking help or tools to get you on the path to reducing the stress and anxiety.
So grab my free resource at cathylvan.com/caregiverstress. Let me help you through this journey. It is important to look at your caregiver cup and control what goes in it. You can’t pour from an empty cup.
Send hugs and warmth your way. Talk to you again next week.

Support the show

Thank you for listening. If you know of another caregiver who could benefit from this podcast, please copy and share this episode.
Follow me by clicking on the links below:

• ➡️ Get my free resource: 17 SHIFTS TO RECUDE CAREGIVER STRESS & SAY GOOD-BYE TO CAREGIVER BURNOUT
• If you're interested in 1:1 Coaching ➡️ schedule a 30 minute FREE chat
• CONNECT WITH CATHY ON INSTAGRAM @cathylynnvan for daily tips and inspiration

Send Cathy a text:)

This week I started my Spring gardening prep. I can’t clean out the leaves and debris yet until it gets warmer since the bees, butterflies and other little insects are trying to stay warm yet. But it’s time to prune the bushes and trees.

My husband just rolls his eyes and goes along with my gardening passion. If it was up to him, we would just leave it. But I want the plants and trees needs just a bit of help to show their beauty.

Here’s the definition: Pruning removes dead and dying branches and stubs, allowing room for new growth and protecting your property and passerby from damage. It also deters pest and animal infestation and promotes the plant's natural shape and healthy growth.

It’s also a reminder that we can do our own personal pruning too.

• Can you prune back those dead or dying branches? What are those for you?
• Pruning allows room for new growth. When you release those bad habits, bad thoughts, and accept your new reality, you will allow for those buds, blossoms and new growth.
• How are you allowing for new growth?
• Pruning protects your property - yourself. When you pivot your mindset, set healthy boundaries and manage your new normal, you are starting to take care of yourself.
  • You can’t expect that beautiful crab apple tree to blossom every spring into this beautiful tree if you don’t trim it back, cut off the dead branches, fertilize it and water it. Same goes for you.
    • Close your eyes and envision your best self. What does she look like? What does she sound like? What does she feel like?
    • What is your pruning plan for you?
• NOTE: The tree can’t prune itself. But with a little help, it will start to become healthier and soon will blossom.
  • As a coach and if you came to me I would ask you what needs pruning?
  • Then we would break down each one.
    • If you were lonely, we would look at ways to improve that. IE: chat with a friend, joining a community, planning a date or girl night out.
    • If you feel stretched, we need to look at the situation and figure out how to get more help or let go of things.
    • If you are exhausted, we need to really figure out what the root cause of your exhaustion is and then you can start working on ways to improve it.

If you want to check out my coaching, go to cathylvan.com/coaching. It's a FREE 30 minute session. That way you can decide if this is a good fit for you.

As caregivers, you and I think we have to take it all on. Think about what you do. ( IE: I am a caregiver, a consultant for a fortune 100 company, a business owner, a mom, a daughter, a wife) You get the picture.

You can’t leave caregiving but YOU CAN find joy in your journey. You can control your situation. You can think like a manager and figure it out.

I want to leave you with a quote from Florence Littauer, The purpose of pruning i

Support the show

Thank you for listening. If you know of another caregiver who could benefit from this podcast, please copy and share this episode.
Follow me by clicking on the links below:

• ➡️ Get my free resource: 17 SHIFTS TO RECUDE CAREGIVER STRESS & SAY GOOD-BYE TO CAREGIVER BURNOUT
• If you're interested in 1:1 Coaching ➡️ schedule a 30 minute FREE chat
• CONNECT WITH CATHY ON INSTAGRAM @cathylynnvan for daily tips and inspiration

Send Cathy a text:)

Sharing caregiving hacks which will help with managing your time, finding efficiencies and simplifying your life

One of the hidden secrets of caregiving is thinking smarter not harder. Gosh knows you work hard.

Time is one of the most valuable things you have going for you right now. What could you do with an extra hour a week, three hours a week or maybe even an hour a day?

Could you take time for yourself? What about time to have coffee with a friend or time to get caught up with your dissertation or write those extra pages for your book. You fill in the blank when it comes to your time. Time = joy, Time = well-being, Time = less stress. Time = spending time with my Loved One.

1. Automations - you want to think about everything you do and determine if you can automate it, make things easier, find ways to put into a monthly service.

• Meal deliveries
• Local agencies for meal for seniors
• Groceries - deliver, pick up
• Amazon, Target, Walmart
• Pharmacies deliveries
• Online billing
• Dr Apt apps - using technology

2. Getting Help or Outsourcing or Delegating- I know right away, your thought may go to a couple of areas - I don’t have $ to pay for help Or, I don’t feel comfortable asking for help Or, I can do it all

• Cleaning lady - do you really need to be spending your time cleaning right now? Can you ask for help with your Loved Ones home or your home?
  • If you don’t have the $, can you ask your family or friends to help once in a while?
  • Or can you let the dust be for a day or two.
  • Maybe it’s only once a month or trade up with someone
• Lawn Service / Snow Removal
• Say yes to meals from friends. There’s no shame ordering take out - have fun with it - maybe you do it once a week as a treat.
• Trade work - use mom’s phone and her newspaper example
• Shared calendars with family members
  • They can help with caregiver responsibilities
  • Dr appointment coverage
  • It also helps with multiple things going on in the week to avoid conflicts
• FB Group or Text Groups

3. Personal Survival Kits

• Bag ready
• Car kit
• Notebook for dr visits
• Sunday Planning (check out episode 17)
• Top 3 priorities
• Meal prep

4. Working from Home

• Not everyone will be able to keep their jobs they have while caring for their loved one
• But working from home has allowed me to reduce the drive time
• I can eat lunch with my loved one
• I can schedule times to care for my loved one around my work hours
• Now setting healthy boundaries is key (for both family and friends)
• I was fortunate enough to adjust my hours and work around the care.
• Maybe you schedule in nurse support while you’re working or have a family member support or visit too.
• I block my time at work 7-9am

Support the show

Thank you for listening. If you know of another caregiver who could benefit from this podcast, please copy and share this episode.
Follow me by clicking on the links below:

• ➡️ Get my free resource: 17 SHIFTS TO RECUDE CAREGIVER STRESS & SAY GOOD-BYE TO CAREGIVER BURNOUT
• If you're interested in 1:1 Coaching ➡️ schedule a 30 minute FREE chat
• CONNECT WITH CATHY ON INSTAGRAM @cathylynnvan for daily tips and inspiration