It's My Birthday BONUS!

11/21/20 • 15 min

Hey There, It’s Cathy with a fun bonus episode of THE CAREGIVER WIFE PODCAST. It’s my birthday. What better way to celebrate my birthday than with you, my listener.

My birthday parties of the past.....

I remember those pizza parties and slumber parties. Everyone would come with their fun sleeping bags, pjs and little suitcase. We would stay up all night sharing stories, putting on makeup, dancing to music and playing true or dare. And, we would call boys on the telephone. My parents would be just as exhausted as I would, since they heard screaming girls all night long.

Then as I aged, my parents would let me pick out a favorite restaurant and they would take me out. I would always pick a supper club. I loved the salad bars, baked potatoes and a tenderloin steak. Then I would order a grasshopper from the bar. It was my alone time with my Mom and Dad.

Those memories are so fun to think back on.

As the years went on I had birthday dates with my husband, Denis. Sometimes a casual dinner and sometimes a dinner and movie and sometimes a local theater.

The last few years they were low key due to Denis’ chemo and knee surgery. Then this year COVID really changed it up. I am looking forward to a Zoom call or facetime.

For this podcast and my birthday, I asked family and friends to share a 30 second clip. I asked them to share something you, my listener didn’t know about me... That’s risky but also some fun.

So let’s hear from them now. They recorded these in various ways so you will notice the audio will be different ENJOY!

Julie (friend)
Denise (friend)
Jan (mom)
John (brother)
Mark (son)
Krystal (daughter-in-law)
Jamie (son)
Matthew (son)
Denis (husband)

Hope you enjoyed a fun segment from my family and friends. I feel so blessed to have them but also thankful that you let me into your life weekly and whenever I throw in an extra bonus episode.

To end my episode, I want to encourage you to find time for yourself in this challenging new normal you’re in. You can take care of your spouse if you are not taking care of you first. Give yourself some self love each day whether it be a walk, quiet time journaling, sitting down for dinner or grabbing a cup of coffee with a friend. Until next time, take care.

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Get my free resource: 17 Shifts To Reduce CAREGIVER STRESS & Say Good-bye To CAREGIVER BURNOUT

Send Cathy a text:)

Hey There, It’s Cathy with a fun bonus episode of THE CAREGIVER WIFE PODCAST. It’s my birthday. What better way to celebrate my birthday than with you, my listener.

My birthday parties of the past.....

Those memories are so fun to think back on.

As the years went on I had birthday dates with my husband, Denis. Sometimes a casual dinner and sometimes a dinner and movie and sometimes a local theater.

The last few years they were low key due to Denis’ chemo and knee surgery. Then this year COVID really changed it up. I am looking forward to a Zoom call or facetime.

For this podcast and my birthday, I asked family and friends to share a 30 second clip. I asked them to share something you, my listener didn’t know about me... That’s risky but also some fun.

So let’s hear from them now. They recorded these in various ways so you will notice the audio will be different ENJOY!

Julie (friend)
Denise (friend)
Jan (mom)
John (brother)
Mark (son)
Krystal (daughter-in-law)
Jamie (son)
Matthew (son)
Denis (husband)

Hope you enjoyed a fun segment from my family and friends. I feel so blessed to have them but also thankful that you let me into your life weekly and whenever I throw in an extra bonus episode.

Support the show

💌 Want more inspiration, information, and a deeper connection? Join the Caregiver Cup Community Newsletter for my weekly email filled with support and encouragement.

Get my free resource: 17 Shifts To Reduce CAREGIVER STRESS & Say Good-bye To CAREGIVER BURNOUT

Previous Episode

It's hard - this new normal now

Send Cathy a text:)

As I was prepping for this podcast, I went back to a dark day in 2018. I didn’t want to get out of bed, I called in sick from my 9-5 job and actually lied about being sick. I just wanted to get in the car and drive away. How far could I go before anyone noticed? I seriously wanted to run away from my life.

That day I did go for a drive. I spent that day really figuring out where I was. I had to face reality. I had to accept my new normal, grieve my old life and move forward. It was a huge tipping point for me.

It is hard to face this reality , but truth is, you have to hear it . You have to take that step forward.

I have a free handout for you. This is what I wrote out that day. Go to www. cathylvan.com/newnormal
Now it’s not the magical potion or a solution, but it helped me shift my thoughts and emotions to make the best of the situation and get that positive mindset working.

I want to talk about YOU, your choices and your new normal.

It’s hard
It sucks
You can’t focus
I am stressed
I am angry
I am in shock
I am confused
I think you get what I am saying.

It’s not fair and you didn’t see it coming.

But you could say - it’s bad, it’s awful, I am done. I can’t do this. I have to quit my life, It’s my life now.

Or you can say this new normal is my new challenge, my new struggle and I will adjust.

I love this stat. A person has 60k thoughts daily. 45k of those thoughts are negative, pessimistic, doubtful, etc. That means only 25% of our thoughts are positive, optimistic, etc

So it takes a heck of a lot of work to shift your brain, train your brain and look at it with reality and the choice to be positive.

Caregiving it hard. Watching your spouse’s illness or injury is hard.

I remember going to the dark place often. But you have to recognize that you don’t want to stay there.

But reality is, you're grieving and dealing with this new normal

Grieving the life that you had. Wherever you are at in this process, you can feel grief immediately, later down the road and it can come back at different times.

It starts with acknowledging and sitting with your situation and feelings. There's not a magical formula that will tell you how to do this or how long this takes. But what I know is that you can’t avoid it or deny it’s happening.

It may require talking to someone
Journaling
Just crying and sitting with it for a while.
Everyone is different
Each of the situations are different

You are going through a major change in your life. I think of it as an identity change

Your identity is changing. You're changing. You'll come out of this a totally different person
But your mind is still processing who you were vs who you are now.
You are becoming someone else.

You can choose your identity and mindset

Believe in yourself.

Believe in who you are and stand up for your purpose

Believe that you are in control of your efforts.

Create that higher capacity to succeed - higher capacity to

Support the show

💌 Want more inspiration, information, and a deeper connection? Join the Caregiver Cup Community Newsletter for my weekly email filled with support and encouragement.

Get my free resource: 17 Shifts To Reduce CAREGIVER STRESS & Say Good-bye To CAREGIVER BURNOUT

Next Episode

Finding Joy, No Matter What

Send Cathy a text:)

I have been really troubled lately when I hear caregivers say: “This is the way it is now”, “I wish I could enjoy time out”, “I can’t ask them, they have their own life” or “I have to carry this alone”.

This may sound harsh and bold & I don’t mean it to be this way. But when you look at the glass half empty, you'll continue to stay that way. Complaining, moping and negativity are easy.

Yes, you're experiencing a terrible, challenging time. I'm sending hugs & warm thoughts. BUT, let me be your best friend in your ear. You have to pick yourself up! Everything, I mean everything in your life isn't broken. Yes, your spouse is sick, your new normal is hard but there are parts that are ok.

Today I want to talk about making the best of EVERY situation.

I'm hearing many complaining about the holidays not being good this year. Yes, we're quarantining & being asked to stay home. But, what about those people that lost their loved ones? What about the people that lost their jobs & are losing their home?

Instead of saying & thinking negative. Think: No hustle and bustle, I don’t have to get dressed up. I don’t have to travel. We can stay in our pjs all day. We can have dinner anytime we want to. We can try new things. We can Facetime our families.

Same goes for you! Instead of focusing on the challenges first, I encourage you to find joy & gratitude first.

In these trying days, you can easily lose sight of joy, hope & happiness. When the world feels like it’s spiraling out of control & all seems to be lost, holding onto positive feelings can be a tough thing.

Do you ever notice how some folks always seem to have their chins up, even on the worst of days? It’s a valuable trait, & it’s also one that most people have to learn with time as a skill.

Here are my ways to find your joy, even in difficult times.
1. PAY ATTENTION TO THE LITTLE THINGS
2. EXERCISE
3. STAY GRATEFUL
4. DRESS UP
5. SET GOALS AND PURSUE PASSION
6. DON’T FORGET SELF-CARE
7. FIND WAYS TO LAUGH
8. MEDITATE
9. TURN OFF OR TUNE OUT NEGATIVITY
10. SING AND DANCE
11. BE ONE WITH NATURE
12. GET ENOUGH SLEEP
13. COOK

You will find my a detailed list at cathylvan.com/episode8.
“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” - Wayne Dryer

Support the show

💌 Want more inspiration, information, and a deeper connection? Join the Caregiver Cup Community Newsletter for my weekly email filled with support and encouragement.

Get my free resource: 17 Shifts To Reduce CAREGIVER STRESS & Say Good-bye To CAREGIVER BURNOUT