How To Stop Seeking Approval

03/14/25 • 26 min

We grow up in a world where seeking approval is assumed, expected. Authority figures (like parents) assume the responsibility of approval or disapproval to teach their offspring how to move through the world. It’s also a kind of currency: it determines who we are, where we belong, what doors open for us. But at some point, some of us begin to wonder—what happens if I stop asking for permission? In this episode, Joe and Brett wrestle with the complexity of approval-seeking and how to break free from it. They explore:

The push and pull between belonging and authenticity
The weight of societal norms and expectation
The way doubt and conditioning pull us from our innate wisdom
The necessity of discomfort in the pursuit of true authenticity
The somatic cues that indicate when we are honoring our truth—or avoiding it
Practical exercises for cultivating self-approval

Send us your questions on Twitter, through our website, or in our Circle community!

Joe on X: @FU_JoeHudson

Brett on X: @airkistler

AOA on X: @artofaccomp

Visit Us: www.artofaccomplishment.com

We invite you to experience our work. Reserve your spot at www.view.life/explore

The push and pull between belonging and authenticity
The weight of societal norms and expectation
The way doubt and conditioning pull us from our innate wisdom
The necessity of discomfort in the pursuit of true authenticity
The somatic cues that indicate when we are honoring our truth—or avoiding it
Practical exercises for cultivating self-approval

Send us your questions on Twitter, through our website, or in our Circle community!

Joe on X: @FU_JoeHudson

Brett on X: @airkistler

AOA on X: @artofaccomp

Visit Us: www.artofaccomplishment.com

We invite you to experience our work. Reserve your spot at www.view.life/explore

Previous Episode

So You’re Not Dead Yet: Lessons From Chemotherapy | Tara Howley with Guest Michael Nagle

There is a moment when the body becomes foreign, when the timeline of your life no longer extends indefinitely but narrows into an unpredictable horizon. In this episode, Tara sits down with Michael Nagel, a beloved member of the AOA community, to speak candidly about what it means to love and be loved in the face of his cancer diagnosis. They discuss:

The “psychedelic of mortality”—how the nearness of death transforms personal and social dynamics
Embracing the support of a community while wrestling with the vulnerability of needing help
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The dual forces of grief and gratitude, and learning to hold both at once
Denial’s strange and necessary role in maintaining the will to live.
The radical act of saying yes to struggle, and what it means to want life even in its hardest moments

Join us for a conversation that explores what it means to live when death is an ever-present companion.

Send us your questions on Twitter, through our website, or in our Circle community!

Joe on X: @FU_JoeHudson

Brett on X: @airkistler

AOA on X: @artofaccomp

Visit Us: www.artofaccomplishment.com

We invite you to experience our work. Reserve your spot at www.view.life/explore

Next Episode

How to Be a Parent (Without Messing Everything Up) | Joe Hudson and Nathan Baschez

When Nathan Baschez saw a tweet from Joe Hudson about how he raised his girls—no punishments, no shame—he had to know more. So when Joe invited him onto the podcast to talk parenting, he jumped at the chance.

What unfolds is an honest look at parenting in real time. Joe shares how Hand-in-Hand Parenting shaped his family life, how emotional presence trumps perfection, and how parenting became one of his deepest self-development practices.

In this episode, they discuss:

The link between emotional connection and behavior
What it actually means to "stay with" a child’s emotions
Why apology and repair are more powerful than being right
And how we all inherit emotional patterns — until we choose otherwise

This is an episode for anyone who’s ever wondered if it’s possible to raise a child without control and whether, in doing so, we might raise ourselves too.

Nathan Baschez is a new dad who lives in LA, and the founder of Lex (https://lex.page), a new kind of word processor that uses AI to help you go deeper and have more fun while writing. Before this, he co-founded Every, and was the first employee at Substack.

Send us your questions on Twitter, through our website, or in our Circle community!

Joe on X: @FU_JoeHudson

Brett on X: @airkistler

AOA on X: @artofaccomp

Visit Us: www.artofaccomplishment.com

We invite you to experience our work. Reserve your spot at www.view.life/explore