Ep #22: Mastering ADHD behavior skills

08/20/19 • 19 min

Mastering ADHD behavior skills gives parents the tools they need to handle any behavior situation. Behavior intervention strategies are essential components of ADHD management and make your life easier. They will allow you to feel like you have control, no matter what comes your way.

When you have mastered the basics, you’re able to improvise and create solutions even if you’ve never been in that situation before.

In 1975, pianist Keith Jarrett arrived for a concert in Koln Germany. Instead of finding a concert piano for him to play, he found a practice piano that wasn’t working correctly and was out of tune. Jarrett stated he wouldn’t play on that instrument because of his limitations. After a lot of pleadings by the stage manager, he agreed to do the concert. Jarrett recorded the concert. At the end of the concert, he received a standing ovation. The album of the concert became one of the best-selling albums of that year.

He was successful because he not only knew the basics, but because he had mastered the basics. He knew the limitations of the piano and what he would need to do to overcome those limitations to create something incredible.

Having the basics down gives you power as it allows you to remain in control and not get flustered when things don’t like we expected or imagined.

Behavior skills are an essential part of your child’s ADHD treatment plan. Behavioral therapy for ADHD kids helps them learn to recognize and overcome their shortcomings in a way that allows them to create something incredible and successful. Much like Keith Jarrett was able to do in Koln.

SmarterParenting.com teaches behavior intervention strategies called behavior skills. Each skill taught in video lesson form. Watching the video isn’t enough to master the skill; the skill must be practiced and practiced often.

As busy parents, it can be hard to find time to learn new behavior. Even small investments will eventually have long-term payoffs when it comes to mastering ADHD behavior skills. There are multiple ways to integrate ADHD behavior skills in everyday life. You can practice in the car, or while you're getting ready, or around the dinner table.

The goal with behavioral therapy for ADHD is to give you the tools so that you feel confident in handling anything that comes your way. Are they throwing a tantrum? Are they defiant? Those behaviors don’t scare you as you’ve got a toolbox full of tools that you feel confident in using.

When you have mastered the basics, you’re able to improvise and create solutions even if you’ve never been in that situation before.

Having the basics down gives you power as it allows you to remain in control and not get flustered when things don’t like we expected or imagined.

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Ep #21: ADHD and caretake fatigue

In episode 21, ADHD Parenting coach, Siope Kinikini, talks about ADHD and caretaker fatigue.

Caretaker fatigue is real, especially when parenting an ADHD child as they have so much energy. Having to be always “on” to deal with all that energy can be draining-emotionally, physically, mentally. Being “on” will eventually take its toll, so it’s important for parents to avoid the ADHD burn-out by practicing self-care.

Many parents feel guilty for practicing self-care, but practicing self-care is not selfish.

If you don’t feel like you have time to practice self-care, that is exactly when you need to. We know finding the time to practice self-care between school, work, family, and extracurricular activities are hard, and adding one more thing to the plate may seem overwhelming. But when you are operating at half-capacity, it becomes harder to deal with their behaviors.

By taking care of yourself first, you have the ability to provide the best care for your child, which we know is what you want to do.

Our first recommendation for self-care is to find someone you can talk to and who will listen. Whether that is a support group for parents of ADHD child, a family member, or a friend, whomever you choose, make sure they will listen without giving a lot of opinions, and only when you ask for it.

Our second recommendation for self-care is to take a break and find something that rejuvenates you. It doesn’t need to be time-intensive or requires a lot of stuff. It could be making yourself a cup of tea, a bubble bath, reading a book, take a short break, or take a nap.

Taking a break doesn’t have to happen just once a day. You can set up small breaks throughout the day.

Our third recommendation is to get enough sleep. Without sleep, your ability to help your child is greatly diminished as you have nothing to give them.

Our fourth recommendation is to have regular check-ups with your doctor. Being an ADHD mom is hard and regularly checking in with your doctor allows you to evaluate your mood and what is going on. This is one area where we tend to be terrible at. We take our kids to the doctors, but often we put off going ourselves.

We encourage you this week to find a few ways that you can add self-care and avoid ADHD and caretaker fatigue and ADHD burnout.

If you have any great self-care ideas that you’d like to share with other ADHD parents, please send us a message. [email protected]

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Ep #23: Setting daily intentions

At the Qualtrics conference in March 2019, Oprah stated that the secret to her success was setting realistic intentions. The thought behind setting intentions for the day is that before you do anything else, you decided the intention or goal, that you want for the day. By setting intentions for the day it allows you to have a mind-shift, and the energy to focus as everything you do is now seen through that intention.

The power of intention is that it gives you control over the day. Instead of waking up and picking up your phone and instantly feeling like a failure because your life doesn’t look like another’s, you’re able to tell the world what you expect from it rather than the other way around. It’s a simple thing, but it allows you to set boundaries and practice self-care, which leads to confident living.

As an ADHD parent, it can feel overwhelming to think about setting realistic intentions for the day as it’s one more thing we have to do. This simple exercise can help you deal with all the pressures you face. It gives you a “game plan” of sorts and helps you mentally prepare for everything that is on your plate. When you feel rejuvenated, you’re able to handle the day more effectively. It’s when we’re tired and overwhelmed that everything seems so much worse as we don’t have the energy to handle it. Taking time for yourself is essential and does not make you a bad parent (even if you feel like it does).

Successful parents are those who have found a way to balance their self-care with what their child needs.

Setting intentions is a lot like the behavior skill of Preventive Teaching. Preventive Teaching is all about preparing your child for what they may encounter by setting realistic expectations for their behavior.

We want you to try setting daily intentions for one week. These intentions don’t have to be large or take up a ton of time. It can be as simple as, “How do I want to feel at the end of the day? What do I need to do to feel that way?” So, if at the end of the day you want to feel calm, then you’ll need to add small activities (away from your phone) to your day that allows you to feel that way. It may be taking a bath, eating a favorite treat, going for a walk, having lunch with a friend, or taking a small nap.

We can’t stress it enough. There is power in setting daily intentions. Trust us when we say that doing this small thing can have a significant impact on the relationships you have.