That Hoarder: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding - REMIX: Perfectionism and hoarding with Dr Jan Eppingstall of Stuffology

REMIX: Perfectionism and hoarding with Dr Jan Eppingstall of Stuffology

11/17/23 • 58 min

That Hoarder: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding

The topic for today is perfectionism and its connection to hoarding. I talk with Dr Jan Eppingstall about perfectionism and its impact on hoarding behaviour. We share personal experiences and struggles with perfectionism, discussing the fear of failure and the tendency to give up if something cannot be done perfectly.

We also touch upon the importance of psychological flexibility, being present in the moment, and living by our values. Dr. Eppingstall enlightens us with insights on challenging rigid thought patterns, breaking free from the demands of perfection, and embracing personal growth.

Perfectionism and fear of failure drive hoarding.
Perfectionism linked to hoarding and obsessive personalities.
Rigid thinking
Surprised by others' flexibility
Children with insecure attachment blame themselves for parents' problems.
Curiosity, experimentation, and flexibility lead to growth.
Encouraging exploration leads to personal growth.
Regretting inaction is a bigger regret.
Relax, do it wrong, get more done.
Perfectionism and fear of failure relate to hoarding.
Concerns over mistakes and parental criticism are prominent.
Being creative with limited resources to find solutions and not being rigid in following rules or plans.
Turtle mode hinders logic, self-criticism hampers progress.
Children with insecure attachment due to a parent's mental illness or preoccupation tend to believe they cause their parents' problems
They feel pressured to help their parents and seek validation through achievements and obedience to alleviate their parents' sadness or anger.
Perfectionism linked to trauma response, family expectations.
Fear of negative emotions, regret of not pursuing dreams.
People are adaptable and inventive
Give yourself permission to make mistakes, relax, and get more done
The reluctance to start or complete tasks to avoid an imperfect outcome
Self-criticism and lack of confidence as common problems with perfectionism
Overcoming perfectionism and embracing flexibility
Psychological flexibility: being present, taking action guided by values
The importance of curiosity and challenging behaviours
Living by values rather than solely focusing on goals
The role of a support system in venturing outside the comfort zone
Taking small, cautious steps outside the comfort zone
Opening up slowly leads to personal growth and a sense of accomplishment
Breaking rigid thought patterns through repeated challenging
Recognising triggers and behaviours associated with perfectionism
Cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) and acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) as helpful approaches
Perfectionism as a manifestation of people-pleasing and trauma response
Perfectionism leading to feelings of not being enough or worthy
Using perfectionism as a coping mechanism for emotions and relationships
Addressing perfectionism through therapy and exploring its underlying reasons
Progress and success can still be achieved even if things don't go perfectly or as planned
Regretting not doing the things we wanted to do in life rather than letting go of physical possessions
Challenging negative "what if" scenarios and highlighting potential positive outcomes
Demanding standards, self-criticism, fear of wasting or making mistakes in hoarding behaviour

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Perfectionism and fear of failure drive hoarding.
Perfectionism linked to hoarding and obsessive personalities.
Rigid thinking
Surprised by others' flexibility
Children with insecure attachment blame themselves for parents' problems.
Curiosity, experimentation, and flexibility lead to growth.
Encouraging exploration leads to personal growth.
Regretting inaction is a bigger regret.
Relax, do it wrong, get more done.
Perfectionism and fear of failure relate to hoarding.
Concerns over mistakes and parental criticism are prominent.
Being creative with limited resources to find solutions and not being rigid in following rules or plans.
Turtle mode hinders logic, self-criticism hampers progress.
Children with insecure attachment due to a parent's mental illness or preoccupation tend to believe they cause their parents' problems
They feel pressured to help their parents and seek validation through achievements and obedience to alleviate their parents' sadness or anger.
Perfectionism linked to trauma response, family expectations.
Fear of negative emotions, regret of not pursuing dreams.
People are adaptable and inventive
Give yourself permission to make mistakes, relax, and get more done
The reluctance to start or complete tasks to avoid an imperfect outcome
Self-criticism and lack of confidence as common problems with perfectionism
Overcoming perfectionism and embracing flexibility
Psychological flexibility: being present, taking action guided by values
The importance of curiosity and challenging behaviours
Living by values rather than solely focusing on goals
The role of a support system in venturing outside the comfort zone
Taking small, cautious steps outside the comfort zone
Opening up slowly leads to personal growth and a sense of accomplishment
Breaking rigid thought patterns through repeated challenging
Recognising triggers and behaviours associated with perfectionism
Cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) and acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) as helpful approaches
Perfectionism as a manifestation of people-pleasing and trauma response
Perfectionism leading to feelings of not being enough or worthy
Using perfectionism as a coping mechanism for emotions and relationships
Addressing perfectionism through therapy and exploring its underlying reasons
Progress and success can still be achieved even if things don't go perfectly or as planned
Regretting not doing the things we wanted to do in life rather than letting go of physical possessions
Challenging negative "what if" scenarios and highlighting potential positive outcomes
Demanding standards, self-criticism, fear of wasting or making mistakes in hoarding behaviour

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Previous Episode

undefined - #117 The dark side of conscious consumerism: when shopping feels like activism, can you save the world and promote your values by acquiring stuff?

#117 The dark side of conscious consumerism: when shopping feels like activism, can you save the world and promote your values by acquiring stuff?

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I've always believed in making positive change through my purchases. Recycling, supporting local businesses, and buying eco-friendly products have been my way of feeling like I'm making a difference, saving the world one shopping trip at a time. But I had a revelation. In today's episode, I'll explore the common belief that shopping can be a form of activism, that it is positive to support or promote whatever values are important to us. The struggles of aligning hoarding tendencies with ethical and environmental values are not lost on me. I'll delve into the difficulties of ethical purchasing and provide some insights to help you navigate through the clutter.

Expressing beliefs through items can lead to clutter
False advertising misleads consumers with "natural" claims
Some environmentally friendly products are more toxic
Resource extraction required for "ethical" consumption too
Choose green options but be mindful of unnecessary consumption
Individual actions won't save world; collective action needed
Systemic change
Believing we've done our part hinders change
Hoarders struggle with ethical purchasing decisions; advice appreciated
Although we can make ethical shopping choices, society convinces us that spending money on stuff is a form of activism
Supporting local businesses is beneficial, but it doesn't negate the negative consequences of buying something
Supporting recycling and shopping in charity shops can lead to excessive clutter and prevent others from purchasing
Buying items to display or share beliefs/values can lead to clutter; shopping won't save the world
Companies can mislead consumers by labelling products as "natural" or eco-friendly, leading us to believe we are making a positive impact
Electric car batteries release significant amounts of CO2 before being purchased
It's important to strive for better socially, environmentally, and personally, and to make informed choices when purchasing necessary items
Stocking up on unnecessary items is problematic
Collective action and societal change are needed for significant global change, not individual shopping habits
Boycotts may not be effective in changing company practices if they are still profitable
Changing to unleaded petrol required a law change
Believing shopping solves problems hinders impactful change; focus on reducing consumption, reusing, and finding real solutions
The hoarder's perspective on making positive change through purchases
Recognising flawed thinking and greenwashing
People believing they are saving the Earth through shopping
Greenwashing and misleading consumers with eco-friendly claims
Ethics of shopping and the reality of consumerism
Contribution of consumerism and resource consumption to environmental damage
Interconnection between social and environmental issues
Pitfalls of feel-good consumerism and the importance of reducing consumption
How buying green products can lead to complacency and less virtuous behaviour
Eco junk
Emphasis on consuming less and reducing consumption as a more effective solution
Shopping cannot solve issues like climate change, racism, inequality, or homophobia
Aligning ethical values with challenging hoarding tendencies

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Next Episode

#118 Can we use AI to help us dehoard? Is it just hype or a promising solution?

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In today's episode, I dive into the topic of using AI to help us dehoard. I have some skepticism about AI and its ability to assist with decluttering. However, after exploring various AI options I share my findings and experiences with these tools. From providing tips and schedules to even taking on personas like Dolly Parton, AI can offer some assistance in the decluttering process. I also discuss the use of AI voice assistants and AI-driven coaching, discussing their potential benefits and my concerns. Join me as I explore the strengths and weaknesses of using AI as a tool in decluttering and dehoarding.

Mixed results with AI
AI voice assistance for dehoarding tasks.
Privacy concerns, limited effectiveness of chatbots.
Fact-checking is better done personally.
AI decluttering apps listed by Bard didn't exist
Bard provided good breakdown of timings in real-world context
ChatGPT and Bard can expand on previous answers.
Streamline decluttering, prioritise tasks, and explore personas with Chat GPT and Bard.
I used an AI tool to mimic Dolly Parton's style for a video.
AI voice assistants like Siri, Google, and Alexa can help with tasks like playing music and organizing, allowing users to have conversations and make requests
AI chatbots cannot provide the same support as humans
Privacy concerns and lack of trust.
Not ruling them out completely,but cautious about therapy-oriented bots
Asking specific questions can yield better results.
Skepticism about using AI for dehoarding
Not wanting to just repeat what others have said
Description of AI bot
Conversation with the AI bot
Critique of the AI bot's advice
Description of ChatGPT and Bard as AI tools
Tips for using ChatGPT and Bard effectively
Comparison of their capabilities with decluttering
Limitations and challenges with specificity and relevance to hoarding
Benefits of using voice assistants for organizing and task management
Examples of tasks voice assistants can help with
AI-driven coaching and therapy
Potential benefits and use cases
Concerns about privacy, emotional support, and effectiveness
Strengths and weaknesses of using AI for dehoarding
Personal observations on specific tasks AI is good at, such as scheduling
Mention of AI's limitations, imaginary recommendations, and the need for skepticism