#168 Hoarding, healing, and the art of kintsugi with Dr Jan Eppingstall of Stuffology

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In today's episode, I ask Dr Chia-Ying Chou about the complex interplay between grief and hoarding. We'll explore how emotions like grief can trigger hoarding behaviour, the role an inner critic plays, and learn all about compassion-focused therapy – including why it’s so much easier to offer compassion than to receive it. The timing is perfect, coinciding with National Grief Awareness Week in the UK.

• Grief and Hoarding Discussion
• Chia-Ying Chou discusses the non-direct link between grief and hoarding based on clinical experience.
• Factors such as resistance to grieving and avoiding vulnerability exacerbate hoarding.
• Grief can trigger hoarding behaviour to maintain a sense of control and avoid confronting loss.
• Host shares personal experiences of how grief intensified their hoarding behaviour.
• Grief and Possessions
• People keep deceased loved ones' belongings as a way to preserve their existence.
• Chou mentions the ambiguous preservation of loved ones through items.
• Anxiety and resistance to facing grief make organising or discarding possessions difficult.
• Complex Emotions in Grief
• Host reflects on the unexpected emotions in grief, like anger or impatience.
• Therapeutic Strategies for Grief and Hoarding
• Chou compares addressing resistance to grief to preparing for a challenging hike.
• Emphasis on resourcing, preparing mentally, and gathering support.
• Suggestions for a "baby-step" approach to facing fears and emotions.
• Inner Critic and Grief
• Host discusses journey with their inner critic and finding new approaches to handle it.
• Chou highlights how internal criticism is often related to grief and missed opportunities.
• Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT)
• Integration of Western psychotherapy and Buddhist philosophy for addressing psychological challenges.
• Difficulty in receiving or directing compassion towards oneself.
• Connections Between Hoarding, Trauma, and Grief
• Patterns of loss, either tangible or intangible, among those who hoard.
• Episode ties with National Grief Awareness Week in the UK.
• Cultivating Compassionate Companions
• Idea of cultivating an imaginary compassionate companion for emotional support.
• Emphasis on emotions being a part of persona, not the true self.
• Emotions and Grief Management
• Pacing yourself.
• Chou recommends creating space for emotions to surface naturally.
• Encouragement to welcome emotions as a creative process in internal space.
• Examine fears and take small steps to engage with feelings.