That Hoarder: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding - #109 When you feel like giving up: dehoarding when it’s really hard

#109 When you feel like giving up: dehoarding when it’s really hard

09/15/23 • 50 min

That Hoarder: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding

In today's episode, we're diving into the topic of when you feel like giving up. We'll be exploring the struggles, frustrations, and moments of doubt that can arise during the journey of overcoming compulsive hoarding. We'll uncover strategies to stay motivated and find the strength to keep going. Join me as we navigate the highs and lows of this challenging process and discover the power of perseverance.

So, grab a cup of tea and press play!

For the transcript for this episode, visit http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk

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Reminder: Why was change important? Self-examine motivation for new things.

Stay present, take care of yourself, embrace failure.

Challenges and triumphs in a long journey and a big project.

Setting expectations based on order rather than timings is preferable for someone who finds it difficult to predict. Learn from experience and set realistic expectations. Consider the burden of letting others down if you communicate expectations to them.

Setting milestones helps celebrate small wins. Clearing the kitchen table can be a goal, leading to a sense of accomplishment and motivation. Having compassion for oneself is crucial.

A Facebook comment inspired compassion from children of hoarders, encouraging someone to not give up and be a hero for their kids.

Change up your habits, shift timing, remember why you started.

Remember why decluttering was important to you. Reflect on your motivation and discover new reasons, like enjoying extra space, treating yourself, or flexibility while working from home.

Taking breaks and finding inspiration from others helps prevent burnout during long-term projects. Look to successful people for motivation, even outside of your specific field.

Applying mindset to various areas of life, replacing unproductive habits, assessing and making adjustments, and the potential benefits of visualizing success.

Acknowledging slow progress is better than no progress

Feelings of frustration and impatience with the current situation

Be patient and work with circumstances

Mindful Approach to Avoid Feeling Overwhelmed

Being present in the moment instead of rushing to the next thing

Appreciating and being present in small tasks

Practicing mindfulness and avoiding constant engagement with everything

Importance of physical, mental, and emotional self-care

Maintaining motivation through scheduled and unscheduled breaks

Viewing failure as a learning experience, not a reason to give up

Importance of setting specific goals and milestones in decluttering

Celebrating accomplishments as motivation

Breaking tasks into manageable chunks to reduce overwhelm

Replacing rigidity with a more gentle and careful approach

Doing a bit, assessing, and making adjustments

Changing Environment and Finding Motivation

Changing environment or time of day to make decluttering feel new

Reflecting on initial motivation to stay motivated

Various sources of inspiration, including social media, podcasts, and books

Unrelated endeavours like trekking the Appalachian Mountains as a source of inspiration

Flexibility and Adaptability in Pursuit of Goals

Emphasizing the importance of flexibility and adaptability

Overcoming rigidity and perfectionism through adjustment and starting multiple times

Taking breaks and weekends off to prevent burnout

Failure as a Motivator and Opportunity

Understanding failure as a setback in life plans

Validating the feelings of discouragement and wanting to give up

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

So, grab a cup of tea and press play!

For the transcript for this episode, visit http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk

Subscribe to the podcast

Reminder: Why was change important? Self-examine motivation for new things.

Stay present, take care of yourself, embrace failure.

Challenges and triumphs in a long journey and a big project.

Setting milestones helps celebrate small wins. Clearing the kitchen table can be a goal, leading to a sense of accomplishment and motivation. Having compassion for oneself is crucial.

A Facebook comment inspired compassion from children of hoarders, encouraging someone to not give up and be a hero for their kids.

Change up your habits, shift timing, remember why you started.

Remember why decluttering was important to you. Reflect on your motivation and discover new reasons, like enjoying extra space, treating yourself, or flexibility while working from home.

Taking breaks and finding inspiration from others helps prevent burnout during long-term projects. Look to successful people for motivation, even outside of your specific field.

Applying mindset to various areas of life, replacing unproductive habits, assessing and making adjustments, and the potential benefits of visualizing success.

Acknowledging slow progress is better than no progress

Feelings of frustration and impatience with the current situation

Be patient and work with circumstances

Mindful Approach to Avoid Feeling Overwhelmed

Being present in the moment instead of rushing to the next thing

Appreciating and being present in small tasks

Practicing mindfulness and avoiding constant engagement with everything

Importance of physical, mental, and emotional self-care

Maintaining motivation through scheduled and unscheduled breaks

Viewing failure as a learning experience, not a reason to give up

Importance of setting specific goals and milestones in decluttering

Celebrating accomplishments as motivation

Breaking tasks into manageable chunks to reduce overwhelm

Replacing rigidity with a more gentle and careful approach

Doing a bit, assessing, and making adjustments

Changing Environment and Finding Motivation

Changing environment or time of day to make decluttering feel new

Reflecting on initial motivation to stay motivated

Various sources of inspiration, including social media, podcasts, and books

Unrelated endeavours like trekking the Appalachian Mountains as a source of inspiration

Flexibility and Adaptability in Pursuit of Goals

Emphasizing the importance of flexibility and adaptability

Overcoming rigidity and perfectionism through adjustment and starting multiple times

Taking breaks and weekends off to prevent burnout

Failure as a Motivator and Opportunity

Understanding failure as a setback in life plans

Validating the feelings of discouragement and wanting to give up

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Previous Episode

#108 From indecisiveness to empowered choices: 27 practical tips for overcoming decision-making challenges in hoarding

In this episode, we explore decision making and its connection to hoarding. I dive into neuroscience research, exploring the neural mechanisms of decision making in hoarding disorder, discover how individuals categorise their own possessions versus those of others, and how this impacts their ability to make decisions. I talk ways to improve decision making skills. From flipping a coin to considering our values, setting priorities, and seeking advice, I explore practical techniques that can help anyone struggling with indecisiveness. Along the way, I tackle the fear of uncertainty and how it can hinder decision making. I delve into the different decision making styles that researchers have identified and how understanding these styles can help.

For the transcript for this episode, visit http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk

Subscribe to the podcast

Hoarding OCD patients struggle with decision making.
Differences in decision making for hoarders.
Anticipating regret
Test small decisions
Gather information, set time limits for decisions
Accepting uncertainty
Toss a coin, keep perspective, ask advice.
Consider long-term consequences, stick to decisions.
Start small; gain confidence in decision-making.
Learning from past decisions improves future choices.
Hoarders report anxiety and procrastination in decision making.
Lack of self-trust skews decision-making
Hoarding disorder linked to impulsive decisions and self-reliance.
Differences in categorising own items compared to others'
Writing down thoughts can clarify complexity and solve problems
Fear of mistakes leads to decision avoidance.
Hoarders anticipate regret
Ask more than "what if"
Perspective, flexibility, seek advice.
Stick to decisions and avoid second-guessing or agonising over them.
Psychology Today: 35,000 choices made daily
Decisions can be overwhelming
The butterfly effect and the impact of seemingly insignificant decisions
Strategies for Decision Making in Hoarding
Imaginary Person Technique
Aligning decisions with values to prioritise what is truly important
How values can guide decision-making in hoarding situations
Neural Mechanisms of Decision Making in Hoarding
Study involving brain scans and paper items
Tossing a coin to make decisions and considering feelings about the result
Setting priorities, asking "what if" questions
Being open to different perspectives
Tolerating uncertainty
Understanding Decision Making Styles
No definitive set of decision making styles
Cultivating Compassion and Making Ethical Choices
Cultivating self-compassion
Making compassionate choices for a better quality of life
Practical Tips for Decision Making in Hoarding
Starting with small, easy decisions and gradually progressing to more significant ones
Challenging oneself to try different options and gain decision-making skills
Learning from past decisions to inform future ones and identify helpful strategies
Considering long-term consequences rather than focusing solely on immediate ones
Stepping out of immediate emotions
Sticking to decisions and avoiding overanalysing or second-guessing
Difficulty making decisions among patients with hoarding disorder and OCD
Characteristics of hoarding disorder, including excessive indecisiveness and avoidance
Hoarding disorder's association with procrastination, indecisiveness, and decision-related fears

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Next Episode

#110 Do you own your stuff or does it own you? Freeing yourself and your home with Jasmine Sleigh, author of Being Owned

For the transcript for this episode, visit http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk

Subscribe to the podcast

Jasmine Sleigh is a professional declutterer and has spent the past decade helping people to free up space. She focuses not only on physical belongings but also on the emotional and psychological aspects of decluttering. In today's episode, Jasmine likens her role to a dance, where she carefully navigates through uncertainties and potential triggers for her clients and stresses the importance of providing support and encouragement throughout the decluttering process.

We also discuss Jasmine's book, Being Owned: A Decade in Professional Decluttering, where she expands on the concepts discussed in this episode. Let's dive into the world of decluttering with Jasmine Sleigh.

Facilitating crafts and donating unused items.
Professional decluttering: a personal and people-centric approach
Handling belongings requires adaptability and improvisation
Sort out space, prioritise essentials, declutter
Understanding lives through belongings; an intimate job
Stuff has power, can be moved
Keep belongings accessible for ease of use
Helping people achieve their goals is the key
Positive actions in a cost of living crisis
Jasmine wanted to write a book about her experiences as a professional declutterer, focusing on the poignant stories of her clients and celebrating her achievements
She also felt frustrated by people's misconceptions about the job
The importance of using and sharing possessions, especially in the context of crafting and hobbies.
Jasmine can only go as far as clients are willing to let her
Training others has further shaped her understanding
Emotional attachments and recent purchases may require more distance
The power of belongings and the impact they can have
Ensuring easy access and a comfortable living environment for individuals is the main priority
Goal is to make people happier in their homes
Using resources for good and the availability of second-hand items in a crisis
Sorting through belongings and determining their importance in one's life narrative
The Unpredictability of the Job
Need for adaptability in dealing with unexpected situations
Describing the job as a "dance" due to uncertainties and triggers
Being present and flexible in the moment, avoiding over-preparation
Ineffectiveness of threats and negative consequences
The Process of Decluttering
Recognising that there is no quick fix or magic solution
Examples of finding forgotten items
Belongings becoming overwhelming and causing a burden
The ability to move and rearrange belongings to improve the situation
Different levels of difficulty in letting go of different types of items
Sorting out keepsakes at different life stages
Importance of having hobbies and engaging in creative activities
Creating a space to pursue hobbies and finish projects
Passing on unused items for sustainability and resource usage
Power dynamics surrounding objects
Giving individuals agency to make choices about possessions
Stories of reengagement and finding joy in personal belongings
Being attuned to people and focused on their well-being
Maturation and increased understanding after 10 years of working
Importance of the home as a sanctuary for wellbeing