Sidelined Athlete Support: Guidance for Parents of Sidelined Athletes
03/03/22 • 57 min
We understand how difficult this can be for not only your athlete but also you as well. Your athlete may or may not be opening up about what they’re feeling. They may be resistant to help. They may be isolating or turning to unhealthy coping mechanisms. So what can you do to break through and provide the best possible support as they go through this difficult transition? Today’s podcast guests can speak to this topic both professionally and personally. In this episode, a parent of a permanently-sidelined athlete interviews two sports psychologists who personally experienced a medical disqualification themselves. Listen in to glean insights from others who know first hand the challenges of helping a young person through the transition following a medically-forced exit from sport.
* Valuable insights for all members of the sidelined athlete support network: spouses, athletic trainers, coaches, as well!
Show Notes:
(1:50) Guest intros
(10:25) The sidelined athlete experience
(13:45) Advice for parents helping their son/daughter through this transition
- The process
- Timing of therapeutic help
- Triggering points
- Outward signs of inner turmoil
(17:30) Helping the athlete through the grief process
- Questions to ask athletes
- Importance of being a non-biased participant in grief process
- Understanding the purpose of emotions
- What true empathy looks like
- Avoiding “silver lining statements”
- Why denial isn’t “all bad”
- Why suggesting your own ideas may not be preferred
- Importance of “when the time is right”
- Offering an anchor of hope & confidence
(27:20) How parents can help alleviate the severity of identity loss
- Key questions to ask
- Identifying how values play into their identity
- Bringing the “athlete mentality” into whatever’s next
- Transitioning from reckoning/grief to “reinvention” phase
- The value of finding a professional for the athlete to talk to
- Tips for finding a sports psychologist
(37:11) Tips for getting the athlete to open up
- Talk with them while they are moving/active
- Open-ended questions
- Engaging again down the road
- Remind them that it’s a process and they can talk to you at any time
- Acknowledging they may prefer opening up to someone else
(42:22) The decision to stay involved with the team or not
- What serves the athlete best?
- How can the athlete stay connected to the people most important to the them?
- Trusting the instincts of the athlete
- Working through the pros and cons with the athlete
- The crux of the decision
(49:15) Unhealthy coping mechanisms/strategies to watch out for
- Substance abuse / numbing out
- Reckless behaviors
- Helping the athlete identify healthy ways to take a break from their hurt
- Isolation
- Pay attention to the duration of symptoms
- Depression symptoms
- Unbalanced reliance on romantic partner
(56:00) Conclusion/Wrap up
- Empathy as a learned skill
Additional Resources:
Finding a sports psychologist (as mentioned by Kelsey):
Sidelined USA resources:
We understand how difficult this can be for not only your athlete but also you as well. Your athlete may or may not be opening up about what they’re feeling. They may be resistant to help. They may be isolating or turning to unhealthy coping mechanisms. So what can you do to break through and provide the best possible support as they go through this difficult transition? Today’s podcast guests can speak to this topic both professionally and personally. In this episode, a parent of a permanently-sidelined athlete interviews two sports psychologists who personally experienced a medical disqualification themselves. Listen in to glean insights from others who know first hand the challenges of helping a young person through the transition following a medically-forced exit from sport.
* Valuable insights for all members of the sidelined athlete support network: spouses, athletic trainers, coaches, as well!
Show Notes:
(1:50) Guest intros
(10:25) The sidelined athlete experience
(13:45) Advice for parents helping their son/daughter through this transition
- The process
- Timing of therapeutic help
- Triggering points
- Outward signs of inner turmoil
(17:30) Helping the athlete through the grief process
- Questions to ask athletes
- Importance of being a non-biased participant in grief process
- Understanding the purpose of emotions
- What true empathy looks like
- Avoiding “silver lining statements”
- Why denial isn’t “all bad”
- Why suggesting your own ideas may not be preferred
- Importance of “when the time is right”
- Offering an anchor of hope & confidence
(27:20) How parents can help alleviate the severity of identity loss
- Key questions to ask
- Identifying how values play into their identity
- Bringing the “athlete mentality” into whatever’s next
- Transitioning from reckoning/grief to “reinvention” phase
- The value of finding a professional for the athlete to talk to
- Tips for finding a sports psychologist
(37:11) Tips for getting the athlete to open up
- Talk with them while they are moving/active
- Open-ended questions
- Engaging again down the road
- Remind them that it’s a process and they can talk to you at any time
- Acknowledging they may prefer opening up to someone else
(42:22) The decision to stay involved with the team or not
- What serves the athlete best?
- How can the athlete stay connected to the people most important to the them?
- Trusting the instincts of the athlete
- Working through the pros and cons with the athlete
- The crux of the decision
(49:15) Unhealthy coping mechanisms/strategies to watch out for
- Substance abuse / numbing out
- Reckless behaviors
- Helping the athlete identify healthy ways to take a break from their hurt
- Isolation
- Pay attention to the duration of symptoms
- Depression symptoms
- Unbalanced reliance on romantic partner
(56:00) Conclusion/Wrap up
- Empathy as a learned skill
Additional Resources:
Finding a sports psychologist (as mentioned by Kelsey):
Sidelined USA resources:
Previous Episode
Reframing This Year's Losses: The Power of Transformative Thinking
What a crazy thing to emerge from a full academic year of pandemic impact on sports! You may be tempted to just try and forget about the 2020-2021 athletic season and move on. We get it!!! But what if by taking some time to decompress and process what was lost and what was not to be, we can gain valuable perspective which can help “redeem” this year’s disappointments for a purpose greater than just "getting through"? Consider the possibility that this year in sports has potentially changed you forever . . .
In this final episode of Season 1, we interview Sidelined USA’s very own Director of Marketing & Development, Jackie Allibone, a former D1 lacrosse player who experienced multiple disruptions in her athletic career due to serious injuries as well as a devastating career-ending injury. Jackie talks about some of the transformative thinking that helped her not only make peace with her losses, but also grow through them. In the “athlete after-huddle”, she is joined by former competitive athletes Val Jones and Tene Thompson who also both experienced injuries which ended their athletic careers before they were able to play out their aspirations. Together this trio explore:
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- The value of INTENTIONALITY
- Acknowledging the VALUE OF SPORTS in preparing you for life beyond sport
- The wisdom in not COMPARING JOURNEYS
- Retaining your COMPETITIVE DRIVE beyond your competition days
- How being an athlete prepares you to face ADVERSITY
- PERSPECTIVE on disappointments, losses, and thwarted plans
You’ll be challenged by the perspective our guests gained over time working through the tough realities of their losses and connecting meaning and purpose to gain perspective. Join us for this memorable discussion of what it looks like to reframe your losses come out on the other side - stronger.
Next Episode
Thriving in Life After Sports
Every athlete goes through it at some point when the playing days are over — athlete transition. Whether an athletic retirement is caused by being medically sidelined, not being good enough to continue to the next level, or aging out, there are common themes and pitfalls many athletes in transition experience. Today we’re having a conversation about “life after sports” . . . the good, the bad, and the ugly. Where does an athlete begin to channel that "inner competitor" to move forward? How do you figure out what’s next? What if you’ve lost your motivation and drive without your sport? How does “identity” play into all this?
Today’s podcast guest is Taj Dashaun, a former athlete, now author, speaker, and athlete transition coach. When his football career ended, Taj struggled heavily with depression. Because he had been so focused on the game, he never fully developed a clear vision for his life. After several years of stumbling around in the emotional darkness of uncertainty, Taj began to take his eyes off of himself and focus on serving others. He now runs holistic programs for retired athletes who, like he once was, are struggling to adapt to life after the game. It's his personal mission and passion to help others overcome the fear, frustration and uncertainty associated with life post-athletics.
Join us for this rich discussion! Whether you're an athlete going through this transition process yourself, or you're a coach, parent, or friend looking to support someone in this situation, this episode is for you.
Show Notes:
(3:32) Taj’s own pitfalls and triumphs in athletic retirement
(8:20) Lack of purpose, uncertainty, and the “Who am I now?” question
(12:05) Finding clarity in the “Who I want to become”
(16:54) How opening up our focus to serving others can help in the quest for what’s next
(21:56) How fueling our mind and body can help in the transition following athletic retirement
(23:30) Approaching life as your sport
(26:26) How asking better questions will lead you to better answers
(28:06) Self reflection and the value of asking for feedback from the people around you
(32:36) How what you loved about your sport can offer clues as to where you will find fulfillment
(35:35) More on “life as your sport”
(37:00) Auditing your circle
(40:05) Practical tips for drafting mentors
(45:04) Finding more resources from Taj
(46:25) What if working with a life coach is not in the budget?
(49:25) Final thoughts for athletes going through transition right now
Finding Taj for more on Thriving After Sports:
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