Team Sidelined

What a crazy thing to emerge from a full academic year of pandemic impact on sports! You may be tempted to just try and forget about the 2020-2021 athletic season and move on. We get it!!! But what if by taking some time to decompress and process what was lost and what was not to be, we can gain valuable perspective which can help “redeem” this year’s disappointments for a purpose greater than just "getting through"? Consider the possibility that this year in sports has potentially changed you forever . . .

In this final episode of Season 1, we interview Sidelined USA’s very own Director of Marketing & Development, Jackie Allibone, a former D1 lacrosse player who experienced multiple disruptions in her athletic career due to serious injuries as well as a devastating career-ending injury. Jackie talks about some of the transformative thinking that helped her not only make peace with her losses, but also grow through them. In the “athlete after-huddle”, she is joined by former competitive athletes Val Jones and Tene Thompson who also both experienced injuries which ended their athletic careers before they were able to play out their aspirations. Together this trio explore:

• The power of GRATITUDE
• The value of INTENTIONALITY
• Acknowledging the VALUE OF SPORTS in preparing you for life beyond sport
• The wisdom in not COMPARING JOURNEYS
• Retaining your COMPETITIVE DRIVE beyond your competition days
• How being an athlete prepares you to face ADVERSITY
• PERSPECTIVE on disappointments, losses, and thwarted plans

You’ll be challenged by the perspective our guests gained over time working through the tough realities of their losses and connecting meaning and purpose to gain perspective. Join us for this memorable discussion of what it looks like to reframe your losses come out on the other side - stronger.

When an athlete's athletic career is cut short due to circumstances outside their control, we understand just how brutal this can be. All that grinding coming to a halt without the satisfaction of the "natural" sport retirement that you've worked so hard for and rightfully earned-- we get it. There's an "emptiness" that accompanies unfinished business when you're facing a closed door like that with so much more to offer. The good news is, you aren't alone and we have some athletes who can share a bit of their own experience with you. In this bonus track recording, our (Episode 3) guests answer the question, "How did you find a meaningful way forward after your athletic career was cut short?" You're going to be encouraged by their answers!

We understand how difficult this can be for not only your athlete but also you as well. Your athlete may or may not be opening up about what they’re feeling. They may be resistant to help. They may be isolating or turning to unhealthy coping mechanisms. So what can you do to break through and provide the best possible support as they go through this difficult transition? Today’s podcast guests can speak to this topic both professionally and personally. In this episode, a parent of a permanently-sidelined athlete interviews two sports psychologists who personally experienced a medical disqualification themselves. Listen in to glean insights from others who know first hand the challenges of helping a young person through the transition following a medically-forced exit from sport.

* Valuable insights for all members of the sidelined athlete support network: spouses, athletic trainers, coaches, as well!

Show Notes:
(1:50) Guest intros
(10:25) The sidelined athlete experience
(13:45) Advice for parents helping their son/daughter through this transition

• The process
• Timing of therapeutic help
• Triggering points
• Outward signs of inner turmoil

(17:30) Helping the athlete through the grief process

• Questions to ask athletes
• Importance of being a non-biased participant in grief process
• Understanding the purpose of emotions
• What true empathy looks like
• Avoiding “silver lining statements”
• Why denial isn’t “all bad”
• Why suggesting your own ideas may not be preferred
• Importance of “when the time is right”
• Offering an anchor of hope & confidence

(27:20) How parents can help alleviate the severity of identity loss

• Key questions to ask
• Identifying how values play into their identity
• Bringing the “athlete mentality” into whatever’s next
• Transitioning from reckoning/grief to “reinvention” phase
• The value of finding a professional for the athlete to talk to
• Tips for finding a sports psychologist

(37:11) Tips for getting the athlete to open up

• Talk with them while they are moving/active
• Open-ended questions
• Engaging again down the road
• Remind them that it’s a process and they can talk to you at any time
• Acknowledging they may prefer opening up to someone else

(42:22) The decision to stay involved with the team or not

• What serves the athlete best?
• How can the athlete stay connected to the people most important to the them?
• Trusting the instincts of the athlete
• Working through the pros and cons with the athlete
• The crux of the decision

(49:15) Unhealthy coping mechanisms/strategies to watch out for

• Substance abuse / numbing out
• Reckless behaviors
• Helping the athlete identify healthy ways to take a break from their hurt
• Isolation
• Pay attention to the duration of symptoms
• Depression symptoms
• Unbalanced reliance on romantic partner

(56:00) Conclusion/Wrap up

• Empathy as a learned skill

Additional Resources:

Finding a sports psychologist (as mentioned by Kelsey):

• PsychologyToday.com
• Association for Applied Sport Psychology

Sidelined USA resources:

• “Meaningful support” articles
• Sidelined Stories podcast

A deep dive into the raw feelings of what it is to be an athlete struggling with mental health, what it takes to reach out for help, and what actually works for athletes. Four athletes discuss the internal pressures they faced struggling through mental health challenges - the loss of drive, the guilt, the isolation, the comparisons. Having experienced injuries that led to a medically-forced exit from sport, each of our guests know all too well the struggles associated with being separated from their sport due to circumstances outside their control . Injured athletes and pandemic-sidelined athletes alike will find this honest conversation especially empowering. This episode is a special one to us at Sidelined. Whether you are an athlete, coach, athletic trainer, or parent, THIS CONVERSATION is what you need to know about mental health right now as it relates to athletes currently blocked off from their athletic goals. There is tremendous power in getting the conversation started. Dive in with us! And SHARE with your teams!
Show Notes:
(2:30) Guest intros
(4:45) "Rapid Fire Q&A"
(7:05) The athlete experience with mental health

• The hidden struggle
• The complications of the perfectionist mentality
• Isolation and apathy
• “Fake it 'til you make it”
• Comparisons, beating yourself up, & permission to be vulnerable
• When mental health struggles fall on people you would never guess

(24:56) Athletes finding mental health support

• Taking the first step to seeking help
• What actually works for athletes?
• Finding someone to talk to
• Permission to feel
• Identifying your triggers
• Expanding your identity beyond sports
• The role of social media
• Figuring out where your “safe spaces” are
• What if a particular therapy/strategy doesn’t work for you?
• When your feelings don’t match up with where you want them to be
• The power of professional help
• When you feel “stuck”

(47:12) Feeling like you’re struggling more than others with the impact of COVID on sports

• The power of vulnerability
• The significance of identifying your support system
• The power when *coaches* are vulnerable

(52:38) Advice athletes would give their younger selves

• What does advocating for yourself look like?
• How understanding your worth beyond athletics transforms everything
• The human factor that coaches should remember
• Why finding a therapist isn’t something to put off
• Building other coping skills besides sports
• Giving yourself some credit

(1:02:15) Where to go from here? Resources for athletes ready to take the next step in their mental health journey

It’s not uncommon for athletes to experience body dissatisfaction and body grief in the transition following their retirement from competition. After all, it’s not especially realistic to maintain the same physique as schedules and priorities shift when the competition days come to an end. What’s much less common though, is meaningful conversation on the topic. Body dissatisfaction and body grief can at times lead to maladaptive behaviors related to food and exercise as it can take some time for athletes to get into a new rhythm and shift expectations. It’s important for athletes in transition to be mindful of thinking patterns and habits related to food and exercise which don’t serve them well.

In this podcast we discuss this topic and the implications for potential eating disorders with Stephanie Wilson, a medically retired athlete who has personally experienced maladaptive behaviors related to food and exercise and now works professionally in this space as a Registered Dietitian specializing in athletes experiencing disordered eating, eating disorders, and Relative Energy Deficiency Syndrome (RED-S).

Join us for this engaging discussion and share with others! You never know who you could help and what important conversations this could start.

Show Notes:

1:47 Stephanie’s background & personal experience

5:05 The complex relationship with food & body for athletes

• Perfectionism & comparisons
• Different fueling needs for different sports
• Pressures from coaches
• Pressure to conform to social/athletic norms
• Body monitoring & hyper-body-awareness

10:30 The role of an athlete’s own expectations in post-athletics body changes

• Body shifts and the struggle to find a new normal

14:20 Maladaptive behaviors in dealing with unwanted body changes

• What is a maladaptive behavior?
• Do maladaptive behaviors automatically equal an eating disorder?
• Examples of maladaptive behaviors
• Unhealthy coping behaviors, both eating and exercise
• The possibility of “a new normal” that serves you better

18:27 Compensatory behaviors

• What is my motivation for this behavior?
• Behaviors as “punishment”
• “I should be doing this” vs. “this is what I want to do”
• What movements bring you joy?
• How do you fuel the movements that bring you joy in retirement?

21:26 How fear can often drive our behaviors related to food/exercise post-retirement

• Acknowledgement & acceptance of our fears
• How to appropriately challenge our fears
• The power of “Sitting in the suck”

26:37 The lesser known eating-related disorders

• Binge eating disorder
• Shame & stigma
• Secrecy
• Muscle dysmorphia disorder
• Compulsive exercise disorder
• How less can be more
• Orthorexia nervosa
• Fear surrounding “taboo” foods

34:51 Key factors in overcoming “body grief” and moving towards “body acceptance”

• Body image & the value of “body neutrality”
• Identity outside of sport, feeling “whole"
• Body change expectations
• Acceptance of the “journey”

38:58 Shame and stigma

• The isolating effect
• Shame as a barrier for not getting help
• How to begin to open up to someone

41:02 What professional help looks like

• Finding the right fit: dietitian, therapist, sports psychologist
• What if it doesn’t feel right?
• What if I can’t afford it?

45:40 Final words of encouragement to athletes listening who are struggling