Reframing This Year's Losses: The Power of Transformative Thinking
06/29/21 • 59 min
What a crazy thing to emerge from a full academic year of pandemic impact on sports! You may be tempted to just try and forget about the 2020-2021 athletic season and move on. We get it!!! But what if by taking some time to decompress and process what was lost and what was not to be, we can gain valuable perspective which can help “redeem” this year’s disappointments for a purpose greater than just "getting through"? Consider the possibility that this year in sports has potentially changed you forever . . .
In this final episode of Season 1, we interview Sidelined USA’s very own Director of Marketing & Development, Jackie Allibone, a former D1 lacrosse player who experienced multiple disruptions in her athletic career due to serious injuries as well as a devastating career-ending injury. Jackie talks about some of the transformative thinking that helped her not only make peace with her losses, but also grow through them. In the “athlete after-huddle”, she is joined by former competitive athletes Val Jones and Tene Thompson who also both experienced injuries which ended their athletic careers before they were able to play out their aspirations. Together this trio explore:
- The power of GRATITUDE
- The value of INTENTIONALITY
- Acknowledging the VALUE OF SPORTS in preparing you for life beyond sport
- The wisdom in not COMPARING JOURNEYS
- Retaining your COMPETITIVE DRIVE beyond your competition days
- How being an athlete prepares you to face ADVERSITY
- PERSPECTIVE on disappointments, losses, and thwarted plans
You’ll be challenged by the perspective our guests gained over time working through the tough realities of their losses and connecting meaning and purpose to gain perspective. Join us for this memorable discussion of what it looks like to reframe your losses come out on the other side - stronger.
What a crazy thing to emerge from a full academic year of pandemic impact on sports! You may be tempted to just try and forget about the 2020-2021 athletic season and move on. We get it!!! But what if by taking some time to decompress and process what was lost and what was not to be, we can gain valuable perspective which can help “redeem” this year’s disappointments for a purpose greater than just "getting through"? Consider the possibility that this year in sports has potentially changed you forever . . .
In this final episode of Season 1, we interview Sidelined USA’s very own Director of Marketing & Development, Jackie Allibone, a former D1 lacrosse player who experienced multiple disruptions in her athletic career due to serious injuries as well as a devastating career-ending injury. Jackie talks about some of the transformative thinking that helped her not only make peace with her losses, but also grow through them. In the “athlete after-huddle”, she is joined by former competitive athletes Val Jones and Tene Thompson who also both experienced injuries which ended their athletic careers before they were able to play out their aspirations. Together this trio explore:
- The power of GRATITUDE
- The value of INTENTIONALITY
- Acknowledging the VALUE OF SPORTS in preparing you for life beyond sport
- The wisdom in not COMPARING JOURNEYS
- Retaining your COMPETITIVE DRIVE beyond your competition days
- How being an athlete prepares you to face ADVERSITY
- PERSPECTIVE on disappointments, losses, and thwarted plans
You’ll be challenged by the perspective our guests gained over time working through the tough realities of their losses and connecting meaning and purpose to gain perspective. Join us for this memorable discussion of what it looks like to reframe your losses come out on the other side - stronger.
Previous Episode
Identity Check: How Athletic Identity Shapes Our Response to Setbacks
It’s something we can take for granted — our personal identity and how it shapes our view of self, our perceptions, and our challenges. Often times due to intense personal schedules for athletes, it’s challenging to find time for personal reflection on “lofty” things such as how we find our self-worth and where we find meaning. But what if those “lofty” things were impacting us in significant ways? What if taking the time to think through our identity could change everything?
It’s important to take a step back and acknowledge that there’s a “shadow side” to the high-performance mentality so often employed by dedicated athletes. Our pursuit of excellence can sometimes come at the cost of our own emotional health without us even realizing it.
Our guest today, former professional athlete, researcher, and licensed therapist, Dr. Ben Houltberg, specializes in the topic of identity with athletes. In this conversation, he discusses:
- How performance-based identity impacts our response to setbacks and roadblocks
- The “markers” of an unhealthy athletic identity
- The difference between a high-performance mentality and a performance-based identity
- How we can go about dismantling some of the unhealthy habits we’ve formed that feed into a performance-based identity
- Practical advice for how to cultivate a healthy identity
- The power of pain being transformed into purpose
- Perspective for athletes struggling with feelings of disappointment and let-down from an unfulfilling sports season or the loss of their sports season altogether due to COVID-impact or injury, etc.
- And more!
➡️ A thought-provoking interview about how understanding who we are and what we value connects us with something bigger than ourselves and leads us to the greatest fulfillment in our sport participation and in life beyond sports as well.
Next Episode
Sidelined Athlete Support: Guidance for Parents of Sidelined Athletes
We understand how difficult this can be for not only your athlete but also you as well. Your athlete may or may not be opening up about what they’re feeling. They may be resistant to help. They may be isolating or turning to unhealthy coping mechanisms. So what can you do to break through and provide the best possible support as they go through this difficult transition? Today’s podcast guests can speak to this topic both professionally and personally. In this episode, a parent of a permanently-sidelined athlete interviews two sports psychologists who personally experienced a medical disqualification themselves. Listen in to glean insights from others who know first hand the challenges of helping a young person through the transition following a medically-forced exit from sport.
* Valuable insights for all members of the sidelined athlete support network: spouses, athletic trainers, coaches, as well!
Show Notes:
(1:50) Guest intros
(10:25) The sidelined athlete experience
(13:45) Advice for parents helping their son/daughter through this transition
- The process
- Timing of therapeutic help
- Triggering points
- Outward signs of inner turmoil
(17:30) Helping the athlete through the grief process
- Questions to ask athletes
- Importance of being a non-biased participant in grief process
- Understanding the purpose of emotions
- What true empathy looks like
- Avoiding “silver lining statements”
- Why denial isn’t “all bad”
- Why suggesting your own ideas may not be preferred
- Importance of “when the time is right”
- Offering an anchor of hope & confidence
(27:20) How parents can help alleviate the severity of identity loss
- Key questions to ask
- Identifying how values play into their identity
- Bringing the “athlete mentality” into whatever’s next
- Transitioning from reckoning/grief to “reinvention” phase
- The value of finding a professional for the athlete to talk to
- Tips for finding a sports psychologist
(37:11) Tips for getting the athlete to open up
- Talk with them while they are moving/active
- Open-ended questions
- Engaging again down the road
- Remind them that it’s a process and they can talk to you at any time
- Acknowledging they may prefer opening up to someone else
(42:22) The decision to stay involved with the team or not
- What serves the athlete best?
- How can the athlete stay connected to the people most important to the them?
- Trusting the instincts of the athlete
- Working through the pros and cons with the athlete
- The crux of the decision
(49:15) Unhealthy coping mechanisms/strategies to watch out for
- Substance abuse / numbing out
- Reckless behaviors
- Helping the athlete identify healthy ways to take a break from their hurt
- Isolation
- Pay attention to the duration of symptoms
- Depression symptoms
- Unbalanced reliance on romantic partner
(56:00) Conclusion/Wrap up
- Empathy as a learned skill
Additional Resources:
Finding a sports psychologist (as mentioned by Kelsey):
Sidelined USA resources:
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