Ep 242: What Kind of Parent Do You Want to Be?

05/21/23 • 28 min

1 Listener

Talking To Teens: Expert Tips for Parenting Teenagers

Rachel Rider, author of Who You Are Is How You Lead, talks about getting in touch with how we want to show up for others. We discuss the power of self-regulation and somatic experiencing to help parents break free of ingrained patterns of interacting with their teens.

Full Show Notes

Parenting teenagers often feels like navigating through a maze without a map. Whether it's constant reminders left unheeded, feelings of being underappreciated, or simply a disconnect in communication, many parents find themselves trapped in a cycle of unproductive patterns with their teenagers. But what if the secret to breaking these cycles begins with looking inward?

In today's episode of Talking to Teens, we are exploring the power of self-awareness and transformation in parenting. Our habits, responses, and interactions with our teenagers often stem from deeper, unacknowledged patterns within us. But how do we begin to recognize these patterns, and more importantly, how can we change them?

We're joined by Rachel Rider, an executive coach and the creator of the MetaWorks Method, a transformative process that promotes radical ease, spaciousness, and meaningful change in leadership and relationships. Rachel, also the author of "Who You Are Is How You Lead," brings her extensive insight into how parents can apply her methodology to foster a deeper connection with their teenagers.

Understanding Your Internal Drivers

The journey to transformative parenting begins with understanding your internal drivers—your deepest motivations for why you parent the way you do. Rachel shares how identifying these drivers can illuminate the patterns that govern our interactions with our teens. By aligning our parenting approach with our core desires and values, we can begin to interact with our teenagers in more meaningful and fulfilling ways.

Recognizing and Disrupting Patterns

Patterns in parenting aren't just about what we do; they're deeply tied to how we feel and react in certain situations. Rachel discusses how becoming aware of our physical responses and the thoughts that arise in challenging moments can reveal the patterns we need to address. Disrupting these patterns isn't about immediate change but about creating space to explore what drives our reactions and how we can approach situations differently.

Fostering Connection through Transformation

The final piece of transforming our parenting approach involves nurturing new habits grounded in awareness and self-regulation. Rachel provides practical advice for parents on how to introduce change in their interactions with their teenagers, emphasizing the importance of patience, self-compassion, and ongoing reflection in the process.

In The Episode...

Our conversation with Rachel is packed with insights and actionable advice. Some additional topics we cover include:

The role of self-regulation in effective parenting
- How internal conflicts can influence our reactions to our teenagers
- Practical steps for identifying and changing unhelpful parenting patterns
- The importance of aligning your parenting approach with your internal drivers
- Tips for fostering a deep and meaningful connection with your teenager

Rachel's approach to transforming parenting dynamics offers a fresh perspective on the challenges many parents face. By focusing on internal drivers and patterns, we can create a more fulfilling and connected family environment.

Don't miss this enlightening discussion on how self-awareness and transformation can revolutionize the way you parent. Remember, the journey to better parenting begins with you. Listen to the episode and subscribe to Talking to Teens for more insights into navigating the complex world of parenting teenagers.

Full Show Notes

Understanding Your Internal Drivers

Recognizing and Disrupting Patterns

Fostering Connection through Transformation

In The Episode...

Our conversation with Rachel is packed with insights and actionable advice. Some additional topics we cover include:

Previous Episode

Ep 241: Lonely? Master the Art of Social Gatherings

Nick Gray, author of The Two Hour Cocktail Party, shares his journey from a shy person with social anxiety to building a robust social network. We discuss how to turn your house into a gathering place for your teen and their friends.

Full Show Notes

Raising teenagers often means your life becomes a rush of school runs, sports practices, and music recitals, leaving little room for your own social life. It's a challenge faced by many parents, where balancing personal and parental duties often leans heavily towards the latter. But what if you could reclaim your social life without sacrificing your parental responsibilities? What if there was a way to model positive social behaviors for your teens while enriching your network of friendships?

This week, we dive into the art of maintaining and even flourishing your social life as you navigate the journey of parenting teenagers. Our compass for this expedition? None other than Nick Gray, a renowned author and the mind behind the transformative concept detailed in his book, "The Two-Hour Cocktail Party."

Nick has sculpted a niche in social generosity and connectivity, transforming his insights into actionable steps for adults seeking to build meaningful relationships amidst their busy lives. His expertise isn't just about throwing parties; it's about weaving the fabric of a community, one gathering at a time. Nick's principles extend beyond mere recreational gatherings, offering a beacon for parents to exemplify balanced life lessons to their teens.

Forging Connections Through Hosting

Nick's approach demystifies the daunting task of hosting, breaking it down into manageable, step-by-step actions. By fostering environments where new connections thrive, parents can showcase the power of community and the importance of nurturing relationships. Nick reveals the secret sauce to his hosting formula, emphasizing the blend of structure and spontaneity that makes gatherings memorable and impactful.

The Power of the Two-Hour Party

Why two hours, and why on a weekday? Nick delves into the psychology behind the timing, explaining how constraint fosters both anticipation and participation. This format not only respects the busy schedules of attendees but also emphasizes quality interactions over quantity. It’s a lesson in respecting boundaries and making the most of the time we share with others—valuable lessons for teenagers watching their parents lead by example.

Modeling Social Skills for Teenagers

One of the silent benefits of embracing Nick’s hosting philosophy is the indirect mentoring parents provide to their teenagers. As teens observe their parents navigate social planning, inclusive conversations, and the art of welcoming diverse groups of people into their homes, they absorb critical life skills. From icebreakers to closing conversations, these gatherings become live demonstrations of emotional intelligence in action.

Topics Covered in the Episode:

Why parents should prioritize their social lives alongside their parenting duties
- The unexpected advantages of hosting weekday gatherings
- Using icebreakers to create a welcoming atmosphere and stimulate engaging conversations
- Tips for creating an inclusive environment that encourages new connections
- How parents hosting parties can serve as role models for their teens, teaching them valuable social skills

Nick's insights are a reminder of the joy and fulfillment that come from nurturing our social lives, even in the midst of parenting.

Discover more about Nick and his work at https://nickgray.net/ Don't miss this invigorating discussion on how to balance being a great parent with being a great friend and community member. Tune in, gather some tips for your next two-hour cocktail party, and subscribe to Talking to Teens for more enlightening conversations.

Next Episode

Ep 243: Raising Brave Teens

Leon Logothetis, author of Go Be Brave, speaks about how bravery comes up in all aspects of life. We discuss the interplay of vulnerability, anger, and making peace when raising assured teens.

Full Show Notes

Raising teenagers is a complex journey filled with highs, lows, and the many moments in between. In today's fast-paced world, where authenticity often takes a backseat to social media facades, how can we encourage our teens to uncover and speak their truth? More importantly, as parents and guardians, how can we provide a safe space that nurtures their bravery and authentic selves?

In this enlightening episode of "Talking to Teens," we delve into these pressing questions and more with the inspirational Leon Logothetis, a global adventurer, motivational speaker, philanthropist, and the author behind the empowering book, "Go Be Brave: 24 and Three Quarters Adventures for a Fearless, Wiser, and Truly Magnificent Life." Leon's journey from a London broker to a world explorer relying on the kindness of strangers is a testament to the power of embracing one’s true self and the courage it takes to step into the unknown.

Leon shares insights on why teenagers, more than any other age group, may find it particularly challenging to be authentic and the hurdles they face in voicing their needs and emotions. He stresses the importance of creating a safe environment for teens to express themselves, even when it involves anger or frustration, and provides practical advice on how to facilitate these crucial conversations at home.

Embracing Vulnerability and Authenticity

Leon emphasizes the importance of vulnerability in both teens and their parents. By sharing our own journeys, including the struggles, we can demonstrate to our teens that it's alright not to have everything figured out and that authenticity is more valuable than perfection.

The Safe Expression of Anger

Learn why Leon believes that expressing anger is not only inevitable but necessary for emotional development, and discover techniques to ensure these expressions are safe and constructive. This part of the conversation is especially enlightening for parents navigating the tumultuous teenage years.

Adventures in Bravery

Leon introduces the concept of "adventures in bravery" — practical, actionable steps teens (and adults) can take to challenge their comfort zones and grow in confidence. These adventures serve as a blueprint for embracing life's uncertainties with a brave heart.

Encouraging Open Communication

One of the episode's highlights is the discussion on fostering an environment of open communication. Leon shares strategies for parents to listen actively and respond empathetically, ensuring teens feel heard, validated, and, most importantly, understood.

In this episode, we also cover:

The psychology behind why teens find it hard to express themselves.
- Tips for parents on modeling vulnerability.
- The importance of owning our mistakes and learning from them.
- How to support your teen in choosing their path while encouraging bravery and authenticity.

Leon's story and insights offer a refreshing perspective on parenting teens in today's complex world. His emphasis on truth, bravery, and kindness as foundations for a fulfilling life resonates throughout our conversation, providing listeners with invaluable guidance on nurturing these values in their teenagers.

Join us as Leon Logothetis inspires us to create deeper connections with our teens through understanding, courage, and, most importantly, love. Don't miss out on this transformative episode that may just change the way you think about parenting in the modern age.

Listen to the episode and subscribe to "Talking to Teens" for more invaluable insights on nurturing resilience, bravery, and authenticity in our teenagers.