Embrace it all

05/12/21 • 36 min

Jason reflected on his experience of losing his dad as a child and how the cultural norms of the Vietnamese culture shaped his experience of grief and mourning. We also explore what he is doing differently as an adult now that he has had some time to reflect on his earlier experience.
It was so interesting to listen to Jason reflect on his experience of grief as a child and what his perspective is now as an adult. I especially admire the way he was able to reflect on his experience in a non-judgmental way. Because sometimes we can fall into the spiral of regret when it comes to losing a loved one - thinking back over the things we should have said, could have done differently - and just beat ourselves up. So I love that he is at a place where he is accepting of what has happened but also moving forward in a way that better serves his emotional needs while in grief.
One thing he said that really humbled me, which was that - while it’s really hard to lose someone you love to cancer, and to anything really, the emotions you feel also means that you’ve had a meaningful relationship with that person, and that is something beautiful to be thankful for. I also loved what he said about keeping his grandmother “near” after death by embracing all the emotions he’s experiencing now from her passing. It is something that’s been surfacing for me lately, which is how to continue to remember my dad and honor his life as time continues to pass. I feel grateful that in listening to Jason’s reflections, it helped me realize that what I am doing with this podcast IS my way of continuing to remember and honor my dad.
That’s a wrap for today. Please follow the podcast if you would like to hear more stories from cancer survivors, caregivers, and family members. I would really appreciate it if you can leave an honest rating and review in Apple Podcasts or Podchaser so I know if I am serving the interests and needs of you listeners out there. You can also share any feedback and suggestions directly with me by visiting my Instagram page or email me at [email protected].

Thank you for listening!

Thank you for listening!

Previous Episode

Every step of the way

We have our first sister duo on the show to share their story with us. You will hear about how they managed stress family members and friends had unintentionally caused and how they were always a team in getting through every situation.
I had fun chatting with the sister duo Bella and Tonia. As someone who didn’t grow up with a sibling under the same roof, I marveled at the close relationship they have with one another. But what was very interesting to me was that, even as close as they were, they still needed to find support and release away from each other sometimes. Like how Bella talked about feeling like she was on an island during treatment even though Tonia was at every doctor’s appointments, or how Tonia would only cry when she wasn’t around Bella, because Tonia knew it would have only stressed Bella out more to see her in distress. I’m glad they both then also talked about what helped them get through, like how Bella found the support groups on FB so she didn’t feel so alone anymore and Tonia would take time out to do things she wanted to do and not be anybody’s caregiver every once in a while.
One thing Bella said that opened my eyes was to surround yourself with people who not only love you, but more importantly, people who will challenge your decision because they know you are making them based on fear or anger. I’m a big advocate for respecting a patient’s decision about their own treatment, especially when it comes to the decision to not pursue treatment. But Bella helped me understand that sometimes a bit of reasoning may be warranted, especially if you can tell that the patient’s decision-making process may be too clouded by negative emotions.
Lastly, I loved their message about there being no shame in asking about resources that may be available to cancer patients. A bit of TLC - whether it’s free massages or gift cards - isn’t going to make everything better but it can help in getting through one day to the next. And as in the example they shared, unless you ask, you won’t always be told what’s available... which honestly boggles my mind but that’s a topic for another day.
Here are some of the resources Bella and Tonia shared:

https://www.cancersupportcommunity.org/
https://imermanangels.org/ For survivors and caregivers, website also in Spanish
https://www.sephorastands.com/classes_for_confidence/

Please follow the podcast if you would like to hear more stories from cancer survivors, caregivers, and family members. I would really appreciate it if you can leave an honest rating and review on Apple Podcasts or Podchaser so I know if I am serving the interests and needs of you listeners out there. You can also share any feedback and suggestions directly with me by visiting my Instagram page or email me at [email protected].

Thank you for listening!

Next Episode

Do what's right for you

Andy talked about the hard decisions he has had to make in taking a holistic approach to his cancer treatment and how having been grounded with the right mindset got him through one of the greatest challenges he’s faced.If you are looking for someone who practices what he preaches, Andy is your guy. As a seasoned talent development coach, he walked into his cancer journey with a strong mindset for dealing with the challenges that life brings. That by no means meant that his cancer experience was somehow easy, but it was very evident that he had a foundation to lean on to navigate the many complex and difficult decisions he has had to make about this medical care.
Even more important was his message about taking ownership of the decisions each of us has to make in life. When I saw his Instagram post about his decision to not pursue the third round of chemotherapy, I was intrigued, because my natural reaction was that it would be safest to follow the advice of the expert. But once Andy explained what he has learned about testicular cancer and the holistic treatment approach he has been following, I understood why.
And what was even more impressive, was that Andy fully acknowledged that he could be wrong in making this decision but was also ok with the idea of dealing with the next challenge if and when it comes. In the meantime, he’s bounced back to feeling pretty much like his old self but with an even more profound sense of appreciation for the opportunities that lie ahead for him and his family.
If you are interested in learning more about Andy’s philosophy on mindset, you can find it in part 3 of his book, called: Own Your Career, Own Your Life. I don’t think Andy could have demonstrated more clearly how having the right mindset helped him navigate his cancer journey. You can find this book on his website: andystorch.com.
You can connect with him on LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram
Andy mentioned a couple of therapies that I was not familiar with, so I did some Googling after and found these for reference:

High dose vitamin C - National Cancer Institute
How might banking soda boost cancer therapy - Ludwig Cancer Research

Andy also recommended a few books:

It's not about the bike by Lance Armstrong
Chris beat cancer by Chris Wark
Cancer Secrets by Johnathan Stegall

Many alternative therapies and nutritional regimens can be controversial because they haven’t been empirically studied. Neither Andy nor I am proposing that anyone should replace working with a trained oncologist with alternative therapies and nutritional modifications only.
Please follow the podcast if you would like to hear more stories from cancer survivors, caregivers, and family members. I would really appreciate it if you can leave an honest rating and review in Apple Podcasts or Podchaser so I know if I am serving the needs of you listeners out there. You can also share any feedback directly to me by visiting my Instagram page or email me at [email protected].

Thank you for listening!