Stupid Fat Hobbits

Welcome one, welcome all! This week the lads are joined by another special guest. His name? Ryan Bartels. His background? Deep sea fishing... maybe. Coming off a full day of physical activity, the lads boast of their field goal kicking prowess. Despite all odds, the withering Pat drills a 50 yarder. Be sure to visit https://scrubhits50yarder.wixsite.com/video for the video to prove it. Chris and Ryan hit from 40. Johnny hit form 27, drank white claws, and was not a winner. The lads then premier the "Around the Table" segment jingle, then proceed to avoid the segment. Johnny decides he likes rap. Pat compares Post Malone to Narnia. The discussion then takes a turn and the lads inconclusively determine American Football is better than Soccer. The seltzer debate then breaks out and Pat forgets how to pronounce it. Our guest then makes an attempt to become an intellectual on "Do You Have What It Takes to Be an Intellectual?" Chris roasts him and he fails. The lads then wrap up this week's episode letting Ryan talk about his life.

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Johnny has a clubfoot. The lads wonder what happened to the pandemic baking craze and debate the merits of a good loaf. Almost 1/3 of you guys apparently have heard of Stewart Cink. Johnny starts a listener war over Chic-fil-A sauce. Listener, TheIanDen, redeems himself with an incisive review of Johnny's personality. Breaking News From Florida investigates the arrest of a skilled street gymnast. Pat gets offended and lashes out at babies. The adventures of Johnny and Major Funkdu continue as the lads analyze another quote In the Trenches With Tolkien: "All's well that ends better." Another joke goes over Pat's head.
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What's your favorite 'nini? How about 'lini? Does Obi-Wan "download" himself into the force? Can you guess what movie Pat is referring to at 48:44? Let us know at https://www.instagram.com/sfh_podcast/ or at [email protected]. The lads discuss the origins of the "Stupid Fat Hobbits" name. Pat uses the word "impedes" wrong. The boys spend way too much time talking about shoes and libraries. Johnny exposes the hidden black market of stolen library books. In a stroke of genius, the lads determine that the USA is literally #1. Johnny gives a remarkably accurate definition of third-world countries. 'Review the Review' returns with a splendid piece of prose from the wonderful Cara Grandstaff. Johnny tries to take credit for her hard work. In an unofficial Would You Rather segment, the lads debate whether they would want to be a reverse mermaid or a reverse centaur...and who would win in a fight. The show closes out with a unique 'LOTR Impersonation Contest' involving a guest appearance from Mickey Mouse.

Welcome one and all to our inaugural show! Today, we review the proper pronunciation of Coors, Pat proclaims himself an intellectual, and Johnny explains why he hates everyone. Chris, our fearless leader, goes rogue and demands that Johnny and Pat perform for him -- thus launching our first official segment: ‘The Lord of the Rings Impersonation Contest.’ At the time of recording, we had just finished watching all three Lord of the Rings films (extended versions, of course), so this episode is a little heavier on the LOTR material. We refuse to apologize.
Have a question, segment idea, or story you want to share?
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Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sfh_podcast/

Johnny and Pat declare their independence from Chris and host the show. Pat hasn't seen Hot Rod. Chris demonstrates his manipulative hosting power. Johnny's Corner is just about what you'd expect it to be. Pat, overwhelmed by the moment, reads CNN. The host and the other host ask the ex-host to bring an Around the Table...to the table. Alexa talks about snails. Alexa is dumb and useless. The lads bash Alexa. Pat, as senior co-host, begins a round of questioning about every-day trinkets and things taken for granted in order to foster debate and deep thought in a continuous and swirling Around the Table. Why are bathrobes a thing? How was the beanbag chair invented? What's the point of bobbleheads? Chris denies that he doesn't dream of Max Scherzer so aggressively that there can be no doubt he does indeed have fraternations with the bobblehead in the night. Onward. Is drinking diet soda the equivalent of going to the gym, taking an insta selfie, and leaving? Is going to the movies by yourself weird? Johnny reveals that he is far too insecure to do anything by himself. Chris straps bobbleheads into movie theater seatbelts. Pat likes watching movies about tanners. In a very odd turn of events, Chris drones on about King Tut and his supposed love of history. Johnny, not to be undone, takes the convo to Aztec rituals. In a not so odd turn of events, Chris admits that his knowledge of history is informed by National Treasure. Johnny makes a joke about nothing; nothing was funny. The lads discuss the various strategies of handling a bully. Johnny and Pat will be opening "Bully School: A School for Future Comedians." The lads end the show as they always do, bickering about titles and power, responsibilities and privileges, hosts and no-hosts, the insidious nature of social media, the challenges every republic faces, the art of war, the beauty of selfless love, the failing of the once strong bonds of fellowship, the fickleness of the mob, the wonder of finding the untrodden path, the fulfillment in the search for meaning, and the penchant for vice despite knowing deep down the road to happiness is found in virtue.