24: Failures (Are Good) Turn Our Mess Into Our Message

Episode 24: Failures (Are Good) Turn Our Mess Into Our Message

Hello, I’m Genecia Alluora, thank you for joining me today! I wanna talk about why I think bullying, the failures are actually good for me. Not sure about you but I wanna share with you today how having failed in different areas of my life which I would list them out for you. And how I have at first taken it very badly to now looking back, how I’ve overcome all these negative feelings to become where I am today.

Failing academically

(02:17 - 02:33) So the first time I remember I failed, I mean in school academically was when I was in junior college. I didn’t do well in junior college. In fact I failed and I repeated one year.

(02:59 - 03:27) The reason why I failed was because I was, first and foremost, I went to a really good junior college, I went to St. Andrews Junior College, it was one of the top 7 junior colleges back in my days, my time. And that in itself I saw that I was taking Physics, Mathematics, Chemistry, and Biology. It’s called triple sciences.

(03:53 - 04:07) Well, I followed the crowd and said okay let’s do triple sciences and my grades permitted. I was able to take these subjects, and then I discovered that I was not cut out for it.

(04:19 - 04:40) I’m just not a studying kind of person. I realized that I’m a very hands on person, very kinesthetic, hands on, I learn by doing. I literally learned by doing so I struggled because I realized there’s so much reading, and analyzing and studying and I couldn’t cope at all, my brain just shut down.

(05:05 - 05:16) It also took a hit on my self esteem that I call myself a failure, I’m not good enough, I’m just not cut off for the education system in Singapore.

(05:17 - 05:32) I’m just so lousy, I’m stupid, so these are the names and the lies I tell myself throughout my entire three years and can you imagine the damage it has done to my mind and my self esteem? It certainly has.

Amidst the difficulties I still thrived

(06:11 - 06:33) And in the three years even though I have my ups and downs I would tell you I thrived. I realize that I’m really someone who learns by doing and not just by reading and I’m someone who needs to be in action to get things done. So that’s my style.

(06:34 - 06:39) And I realized that my failures back then, the three years in JC

(06:46 - 07:13) has kind of affected myself and my self esteem through my years and on top of it when I went to Poly can you imagine the work already done? The damage already done to me even further on top of having to support myself through school since I was fourteen, not having enough money, has put myself through the education system so it’s kind of like ‘Oh my God, life just sucks’.

(07:15 - 07:23) So looking back at all these school failures, I, I will say

Discovering what I’m really good at

(07:25 - 07:51) it set me back because I had a lot more inner work to do. A lot more inner healing work to do. And plus the fact that, with all the bullying that I have gone through so it’s kind of like accumulated but what’s positive is that now that I’ve graduated and started my own business I look back, I’m glad I’ve gone through all these failures to learn about who I am and what I’m really good at.

(07:52 - 08:06) Which is, you know, to do business online, to be able to build up systems and processes, lead a big team, and now even hire graduates.

Our failures doesn’t determine our future

(08:21 - 08:31) Our failure doesn’t determine our future. Our failure doesn't determine who we will become.

(08:32 - 08:51) We will still need to decide on the actions to take. So I accepted my failures, I do a lot of inner healing work to let go of all the bullshit I tell myself that I’m not good enough, I’m such a failure because it’s really tough psychologically. I mean I could have just given up my life. It could go both ways, right?

(08:51 - 09:16) I could just have given up my life and said, you know, I am just not cut out for the education system and just, you know, throw it away and not study anymore and just be another type of Genecia, and not be the Genecia today, right? But you see that is why we need good people around us, we need to have good people, good friends, you know, mentors who will watch out for us and guide us.

(09:17 - 09:44) If there was something that I would like to tell my younger self during my college days and my poly days is that I should have invested in myself earlier on to get a mentor, not just when I’m doing business then get a mentor like get a mentor way earlier on, get a coach because only then probably I would have gotten out of my bullshit earlier, all the lies that we tell ourselves, I tell myself, that you are telling yourself right now.

Three things to ponder

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