Children Don't Need Perfect Parents, Just Present Ones
04/22/25 • 45 min
What if the most powerful mental health intervention was simply asking someone "How are you?" and truly listening to their answer? Dr. Iran McGann, psychologist and former Israeli military officer, has built his life's work around this deceptively simple approach.
From his unique perspective as someone who served in a country where "being a veteran isn't really a thing because everybody's a veteran," Dr. Magen bridges worlds that rarely intersect. He draws compelling parallels between military and medical cultures—both demanding heroism, suppressing vulnerability, and facing alarmingly high suicide rates. This insight led him to create Early Alert, an innovative suicide prevention system that texts regular wellness check-ins to vulnerable populations, connecting them with resources when needed.
Dr. Magen's work extends deeply into family dynamics, particularly through his organizations Parenting for Humans and Divorcing Dads. He challenges our focus on tactical parenting problems, instead emphasizing relationship quality: "The better the relationship, the easier everything is." His approach to supporting divorcing fathers addresses a critical gap in mental health services, noting that men experience significantly higher suicide rates during divorce than women, largely due to isolation and lack of support networks.
Perhaps most powerfully, Dr. Magen reframes our understanding of how divorce affects children. "What's bad for kids isn't divorce—it's conflict between parents," he explains, advocating for children to remain children during family transitions, not messengers, spies, or judges between warring parents. His practical guidance reminds us that self-care (particularly adequate sleep) forms the foundation for healthy relationships, and that small daily "deposits" of attention and respect build the connection children need to thrive.
Join us for this illuminating conversation about connection, mental health, and the profound impact of asking someone how they're doing—and caring enough to listen to their answer. Whether you're a parent, veteran, healthcare provider, or simply someone who values deeper human connection, Dr. McGann's insights will transform how you approach your most important relationships.
What if the most powerful mental health intervention was simply asking someone "How are you?" and truly listening to their answer? Dr. Iran McGann, psychologist and former Israeli military officer, has built his life's work around this deceptively simple approach.
From his unique perspective as someone who served in a country where "being a veteran isn't really a thing because everybody's a veteran," Dr. Magen bridges worlds that rarely intersect. He draws compelling parallels between military and medical cultures—both demanding heroism, suppressing vulnerability, and facing alarmingly high suicide rates. This insight led him to create Early Alert, an innovative suicide prevention system that texts regular wellness check-ins to vulnerable populations, connecting them with resources when needed.
Dr. Magen's work extends deeply into family dynamics, particularly through his organizations Parenting for Humans and Divorcing Dads. He challenges our focus on tactical parenting problems, instead emphasizing relationship quality: "The better the relationship, the easier everything is." His approach to supporting divorcing fathers addresses a critical gap in mental health services, noting that men experience significantly higher suicide rates during divorce than women, largely due to isolation and lack of support networks.
Perhaps most powerfully, Dr. Magen reframes our understanding of how divorce affects children. "What's bad for kids isn't divorce—it's conflict between parents," he explains, advocating for children to remain children during family transitions, not messengers, spies, or judges between warring parents. His practical guidance reminds us that self-care (particularly adequate sleep) forms the foundation for healthy relationships, and that small daily "deposits" of attention and respect build the connection children need to thrive.
Join us for this illuminating conversation about connection, mental health, and the profound impact of asking someone how they're doing—and caring enough to listen to their answer. Whether you're a parent, veteran, healthcare provider, or simply someone who values deeper human connection, Dr. McGann's insights will transform how you approach your most important relationships.
Previous Episode
Love, Loss and Self-Love: Nurturing Yourself Through the Grieving Process
Grief arrives without warning and stays without permission. After saying goodbye to Brady, my 16-year-old Cavalier King Charles Spaniel and faithful "workout warrior," I'm sharing this deeply personal episode from a raw, tender place of loss.
The bond between humans and their pets creates a unique kind of love—uncomplicated, steady, and honest. Brady wasn't just my dog; he was woven into the fabric of my daily existence. He was the first face greeting me when I opened the door, the loyal companion who looked directly into my eyes as if understanding every word, and the constant presence beside me during workouts. When such a powerful connection is severed, the silence becomes deafening.
Through tears and vulnerability, I offer gentle guidance for anyone navigating the grief of losing a beloved pet: Allow yourself to feel everything without judgment. Create small rituals to honor their memory. Lean on friends who understand. Most importantly, reject the arbitrary timelines society tries to impose on your healing journey. Those first days after losing Brady, my wellness routines faltered—I skipped workouts, chose comfort foods over nutrition, and that was perfectly okay. Sometimes self-compassion means giving yourself permission to simply survive rather than thrive.
Let this episode be a reminder that grieving a pet is valid, significant, and worthy of your patience. Our furry companions teach us about unconditional love in life, and in their absence, they teach us about grace. If you're walking this difficult path, I see you, I honor your loss, and I hope you'll join me in choosing wellness even in grief—not by forcing yourself back to "normal," but by carrying their love forward in everything you do.
Next Episode
Your Bottom Is Connected to Your Brain: The Surprising Science of Sitting Disease
Your body is speaking, but are you listening? That burning sensation in your lower back, the numbness in your legs, and the constant shifting in your chair aren't random discomforts—they're urgent messages from a body designed for movement, not prolonged sitting.
As a movement specialist, I've seen how our sedentary lifestyle creates a cascade of health problems that most people don't recognize until significant damage has occurred. We've normalized discomfort to the point where we accept pain and stiffness as inevitable parts of aging rather than symptoms of our increasingly stationary habits. The reality? Sitting compresses your entire spine, weakens crucial muscles, and—perhaps most surprisingly—impairs your cognitive function through what I call the "brain-bottom connection." When your bottom goes numb from sitting too long, your brain literally can't perform at its best.
The military understood this connection years ago, implementing mandatory movement breaks every 50 minutes during long training sessions—a practice supported by modern research showing how movement acts as a reset button for both body and mind. Have you ever worked on an email for hours, only to stand up briefly and suddenly notice all the typos you missed? That's your brain waking up after being dulled by prolonged sitting. Even more alarming is "gluteal amnesia" (or "dead butt syndrome"), where your glute muscles literally forget how to function properly, creating a domino effect of compensation patterns throughout your body.
Breaking free from sitting disease doesn't require dramatic lifestyle changes—just consistent attention to movement breaks throughout your day. Set a timer, stand up every 50 minutes, and give your body the reset it's desperately signaling for. Whether it's a quick stretch, a walk down the hallway, or dancing to your favorite song, any movement counts. Your future self, free from preventable pain and limitation, will thank you. Ready to feel what your body is truly capable of? Join us for a free week at Small Space Pilates or sign up for our 11-minute challenge—because everyone deserves to feel good in their body, and movement is how we get there.
Sisters-in-Service - Children Don't Need Perfect Parents, Just Present Ones
Transcript
Welcome to Sisters in Service podcast . Most of you know me as a strong advocate for women veterans in being recognized not only as veterans but also as women who are changing the world through our passion of serving even after service .
Speaker 1This podcast is my passion by telling all the stories of military brats , military spouses , active
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